(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/MFT3K/Records of Bell/12
Summary
The freakish five leave the cruise and move to Japan.
BLUEBRY: NATURALLY
Oh yeah, and did I mention Bell proposes?
SKULLB: Hey, all! It's the painful "marriage episode"! Strap in for melodrama and excitement!
Cast: Im a bell, Tracy, Mature Bling, Sarah, Don Skull,
Places: Wiki City Dock, Bell's House. Bling's House, Tokyo, Bell's House In Japan, Bling's House In Japan
SKULLB: WELL WHO SAW THIS COMING
NOXIGAR: Me.
Episode Information: 206-Never End A Relationship With A Clingy Girlfriend In A Knife Shop
Insult: thinly-veiled H2G2 references
Credit Joke: Douglas Adams
Transcript
{open to Bell doing the Caramelldansen
CHWOKA: Chris Hansen?
next to Tracy}
CHWOKA: Don't Dance So Close To Me.
TRACY: This is MADNESS!
IM A BELL: Madness? This. IS. CARAMELL! {uses hip to knock Tracy into a pit, continues dancing}
BLUEBRY: {painful sobs}
{SkullB rips the cushion off of a nearby seat and screams into it.}
CHWOKA: ...work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, all...
{cue theme song. cut to the Wiki City dock. Bell and co are leaving the cruise ship. cut to Bell's house. They all walk onscreen carrying luggage}
IM A BELL: Boy, that was fun, wasn't it?
BLUEBRY: no
MATURE BLING: Yeah.
CHWOKA: Riveting excitement!
TRACY: Uh huh.
BLUEBRY: never
SARAH: Yep.
CHWOKA: Action sequences!
DON SKULL: Meh.
BLUEBRY: i hated it
IM A BELL: ...Right. Well, don't bother unpacking. Pack more.
TRACY: What? Why?
SARAH: We're all moving to Japan.
SKULLB: Oh no
MATURE BLING: Really? Why Japan?
CHWOKA: Take a wild guess.
IM A BELL: I've always wanted to live in Tokyo.
SKULLB: WELL WHOOP-DE-FRIGGIN-SH**
MATURE BLING: I thought you wanted to live in Russia.
CHWOKA: {singing} Mos-COW! Mos-COW!
IM A BELL: Tokyo's more relevant to Sarah's
CHWOKA: Wait, isn't it spelled Sara?
interests.
DON SKULL: Define "interests".
BLUEBRY: Animes.
SKULLB: We all know you're the one who wants to go, Bell, you selfish prick.
IM A BELL: If we did we'd get cancelled.
BLUEBRY: canceled
NOXIGAR: Yet again, both spellings are correct.
MATURE BLING: So that's the second...
IM A BELL: What?
MATURE BLING: There are two things mentioned so far in the show that would get us cancelled
BLUEBRY: again, canceled
NOXIGAR: Again, both spellings are correct.
that involves Sarah.
IM A BELL: What's the first?
MATURE BLING: In episode 103 Sarah mentioned a red skull tattoo that cannot be shown on daytime television.
BLUEBRY: I LOVE DAYTIME TELEVISION DO YOU WATCH DAYS OF OUR LIVES
SKULLB: OH I LOVE THAT JOKE IT INVOLVES LADIES AND I LIKE LADIES A-HAHAHAHAHA {claps furiously and breaks into angry sobs}
SARAH: Huh? {gestures toward right arm} It's right h-Ohh, that tattoo.
MATURE BLING: Right. Now, I propose we stop this before Fox Executive Super Sam kills us.
CHWOKA: Every time people try to integrate the WUW into their work, it automatically turns crap. Even in minor ways.
EVERYONE ELSE: Agreed.
IM A BELL: Wait. "Propose"? That reminds me. {reaches into pocket}
BLUEBRY: oh might as well do it now and not somewhere romantic or intimate
SKULLB: Hell, the manga store is as good as anywhere !!!
CHWOKA: whoops almost forgot to get married lol
TRACY: FINALLY!
DON SKULL: What-
IM A BELL:{takes out a small box, gets down on one knee. is increasingly blushing}
CHWOKA: Exponential blushing.
Sarah McAllister, will you... marry me?
SKULLB: Pussy
NOXIGAR: How is proposing not a bold move?
{opens box to reveal a gold ring with a chaos emerald on it. The left side of the emerald is yellow, the right side purple, the bottom tip green, the inner left orange, and the inner right blue}
SARAH: Wh-what in GOD'S NAME is that gem on the ring?
IM A BELL: ...Is that a no?
CHWOKA: "Yes."
SARAH: Of course not!
IM A BELL: Hooray!
CHWOKA: He doesn't even get out of his seat.
SARAH: We'll get married tomorrow in Tokyo.
BLUEBRY: but what about the rehearsal dinnerrrrrrrrrrrr
SKULLB: Don't mention dinner, he might pull out a YouTube Poop reference.
IM A BELL: Good.
SARAH:{to everyone but Bell} Get out. NOW.
{everybody but Sarah and Bell run out of the house. Cut to Bling's house next door}
MATURE BLING: We shouldn't go back there for a few hours.
TRACY: Eep.
SKULLB: THE JOKE IS THAT THEY ARE HAVING SEXUAL RELATIONS
{cut back to Bell's house to a few hours later. Everyone is carrying even more suitcases}
CHWOKA: Each one filled with corpses.
SKULLB: And animes, don't forget the animes.
CHWOKA: No. Just corpses.
IM A BELL: Alright. Let's go.
SKULLB: Jesus, that was a long time.
{everyone exits the house. cut to an airport in Tokyo. A plane lands. Bell and co exit the plane}
CHWOKA: WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG JEEZ
IM A BELL: Well, here we are. Tokyo. Our new home.
SARAH: Why do I have the feeling I left the coffee pot on?
IM A BELL: I doubt it, considering you have it with you. ...And that I destroyed our houses.
BLUEBRY: yeah why try to sell a house in this market
SKULLB: Economy whoop !!!
{Canned laughter.}
CHWOKA: I don't even think Bell owned those houses, considering he's never done a day of work in his life.
SARAH: Oh. Good.
TRACY: So, where do we live?
IM A BELL: I've found two houses side by side in the Ginza district.
CHWOKA: "Ginza" means "Red Light" in Japanese.
MATURE BLING: ...The district with the most expensive real estate on Terra?
BLUEBRY: Why do I feel you're a talking brochure
SKULLB: Why do I feel you're reading from a manga
CHWOKA: What's Terra?
NOXIGAR: Terra is Latin for Earth. In other words, not a Japanese reference.
IM A BELL: Yep.
MATURE BLING: How'd you afford them?
BLUEBRY: IT'S THIS COOL HIP NEW THING CALLED A "TIMESHARE"
IM A BELL: I have powers to create money. How else?
SKULLB: Counterfeiting = Creating money
MATURE BLING: ...How in God's name haven't you been put in prison yet?
IM A BELL: Simple. Everybody knows you can't confine me within anything.
SKULLB: "Until after 11 because that's my curfew "
MATURE BLING: Good point. Now, why do we need to houses?
SKULLB: WE NEED TO HOUSE RIGHT NOW
IM A BELL: One's for me and Sarah, and the other's for you three.
MATURE BLING: And why did you decide to-Wait, don't answer that.
CHWOKA: SEX
NOXIGAR: Drugs and rock & roll.
{cut to two houses in the Ginza district. From now on they are to be referred to as Bell's House and Bling's House}
BLUEBRY: {takes notes}
SKULLB: Will this be on the test
NOXIGAR: You mean that damn doctor is making you do tests based on these fanstuff?
IM A BELL: Okay. This is me and Sarah's house, and this is your's.
CHWOKA: He says, without even doing so much as to lift a finger for indication.
MATURE BLING: Got it.
IM A BELL: Well, we'll see ya tomorrow.
{everybody enters their respective homes. fade to black. cue credits}
SKULLB: What the f*** kind of ending was that
NOXIGAR: A cue to the next episode's plot. Also a day-ender.