RiffText/MFT3K/Records of Bell/10

Summary

Three new spinoffs are announced.

BLUEBRY: Remember Joey?

Cast: Tracy, Mature Bling, John Cleese,

{Chwoka weeps just a little bit}

NOXIGAR: It's probably just a John Cleese stuntdouble.
NOXIGAR: At least it's not a "Japanese" actor, since you and Skullbuggy seem so worried about that.

Im a bell, Sarah McAllister, Don Skull, Kuro, Kinzo, Kan

BLUEBRY: KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
CHWOKA: Yes we Kan?

Places: Deck, In Front Of A Volcano,

SKULLB: Pardon me for being anal-retentive but you would die if you were right in front of lava
CHWOKA: Hey, cut him some slack! Volcanoes aren't active all the time!

Forest,

SKULLB: Aaaaaand then it stops?

Episode Information: 204-Always Make Sure Godmodding Enemies Can't Come Back

CHWOKA: It's not really godmodding if there's only one writer.

Insult: albatross

Credit Joke: The Whole Monty Python Troupe

SKULLB: "Hey have you heard that lumberjack song pretty funny eh?????"
CHWOKA: an ex-parrot el-oh-el

Transcript

{open to Tracy and Mature Bling on the deck}

TRACY: Say, Bling?

CHWOKA: SAY WHAAAAAA

NOXIGAR: {imitating a lame director} No no no, man. You're making me fall asleep. To death, bro! Okay, the line is-

MATURE BLING: Yeah?

CHWOKA: {screaming at the top of his lungs} YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

TRACY: Were was Niblet last episode?

MATURE BLING: Uhh... He-he

CHWOKA: Hehe.

left.

CHWOKA: - right!

TRACY: "Left"?

CHWOKA: - right, left!

We're in the middle of the ocean, how could he have left?

MATURE BLING: Uhh...

TRACY: What are you trying to hide from me?

SKULLB: Congratulations! You're adopted!

MATURE BLING: Uhh... Aah... {takes out a metal bat, hits Tracy with it}

BLUEBRY: it's not illegal if they're in international waters

TRACY: OW! What was that f-

{Mature Bling beats Tracy to death. cut to John Cleese at a desk.}

BLUEBRY: ...

{An erupting volcano is in the background}

CHWOKA: My apologies, SkullB. This is not inactive.
SKULLB: I'll never forgive you!
{Chwoka sobs.}

JOHN CLEESE: And now for something completely different.

{cut to a forest. Bell is there dressed as the It's Man}

IM A BELL: IT'S-

SKULLB: AWFUL

NOXIGAR: {singing} Shout, shout.

LET IT ALL OUT.
These are the things I can do without.
COME ON
I'm talking to you
COME ON

{cue theme song.

CHWOKA: {imitating Gumby} MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUSUSUS

cut back to the deck. Bell and co are there. Tracy is standing on a blood stain, likely from what happened before the theme song}

IM A BELL: So-

SARAH: Wait. What's with the blood stain?

SKULLB: It is perfectly natural and it's part of becoming a woman

TRACY & BLING: Don't ask.

CHWOKA: Don't tell.

IM A BELL: Anyways, I recently got an anonymous email reading "I'll be back in 204". Now, this episode's production number is 204.

BLUEBRY: Maybe they meant room 204.
SKULLB: More like Room 101!
{Silence.}
SKULLB: Son of a bitch, nobody gets it? Huh.
CHWOKA: If it's any consoltation, I get it.

So, someone's coming here today.

DON SKULL: I wonder who...

IM A BELL: Well, anyone else know?

BLUEBRY: i bet their name ends with kan or san or sushi or something

NOXIGAR: Probably only one of those three is correct.

KURO & KINZO: We do.

IM A BELL: You do?

KINZO: Yeah. He's-

SKULLB: just awful

{a flash of light appears above Bell's head. It transforms into Kan,}

BLUEBRY: RIGHT ON THE DOT I GUESSED IT RIGHT ON THE DOT

NOXIGAR: The other two will be incorrect, however.

{and lands on his head}

CHWOKA: Whose head? You're being pretty unclear here.

KAN:{bends over to look at Bell's face} Well, hey there, Bellboy!

IM A BELL:{eye twitching} Don't call me that.

CHWOKA: Nobody calls me chicken.

KAN: What, Bellboy? What's-

{Im a bell throws Kan into the air and fires a ball of energy at his head, destroying it, and then quickly heals}

SKULLB: WHAT THE SH**

IM A BELL: Crap. I forgot. Well, I can just take away your powers.

KAN: Oh, no you don't! {breaks off Cell arm, extends wire arm at Bell, grabs him, and flings him into the air. Kan then lands}

CHWOKA: How does any of this prevent Bell from using his reality-bending powers?

Ooh, too slow.

BLUEBRY: {chokes a bit} THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID

{Noxigar shakes his head with disappointment}

{retracts wine arm,

SKULLB: If I had a wine arm it would be the best arm.

reattaches Cell arm}

{Bell lands, rushes at Kan, and tries to punch him in the face, but Kan dodges it and kicks him in the nuts}

IM A BELL: AACK. {coughs up blood}

BLUEBRY: ...um...wow

KAN: Ahh, you got blood ALL OVER my mask!

CHWOKA: "Ahh"? Is he satisfied? Refreshed? Relaxed?

Anyways, I'm not here to fight.

BLUEBRY: but I did anyway.

IM A BELL: ...Oh. You AREN'T?

KAN: No. I'm actually here to take Kuro and Kinzo.

IM A BELL: Why?

KURO: We're dong a spinoff.

BLUEBRY: And you'll never be seen again.

KINZO: It's called "Kuro Kan & Kinzo".

KAN: It has episodes once in a while!

CHWOKA: {singing} ONCE IN A LIFETIME!
{Silence}
CHWOKA: Son of a bitch, nobody gets it?
SKULLB: If it's any con-sult-a-mation, Chwoka, I get it.

{Chwoka and SkullB. make passionate love on the floor}
NOXIGAR: No, wait, this is a theatre; there isn't that much floor space.

IM A BELL: Okay... See ya.

CHWOKA: "Wouldn't wanna be ya!" {raspberry}

KAN: Right. {grabs Kuro and Kinzo, disappears}

SARAH: ...Well, THAT was stupid. You wasted an entire episode to announce a spinoff?

SKULLB: Records of Bell: What Fourth Wall? {destroys a city}

IM A BELL: Three spinoffs, actually. We're also doing "The Bellstrom Angels", which takes place entirely in heaven,

BLUEBRY: who plays charlie

NOXIGAR: Charlie plays Charlie. In a voicebox.

and "His Unholiness", who

CHWOKA: Don't you mean "which"? I get the feeling Bell doesn't even care anymore.

stars Unholy Tracy as it's anti-hero protagonist

BLUEBRY: like batman
SKULLB: Except retarded

NOXIGAR: And without that Bat Credit Card

and Mature Bling as his sidekick.

SKULLB: Like Robin. And still gay.

MATURE BLING: Wait, do I have to leave as well?

IM A BELL: No, no. That show takes place in the future.

CHWOKA: FUTURE EVENTS SUCH AS THESE WILL AFFECT YOU IN THE FUTURE

SARAH: Wait, who's Unholy-

TRACY: You need not

CHWOKA: - apply.

know

BLUEBRY: Is that English
SKULLB: He talks like a villain from the Superfriends.

until it happens.

SARAH: What...

{cue credits}

SKULLB: Fantastic five stars!!!!

NOXIGAR: Read: Zero stars