(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/MFT3K/Raiku Email/Baby
RAIKU: EMAAAAIIIILLLLLL!!!!!!!!!
SKULLB: Okay, I'm filing a noise complaint.
NOXIGAR: It's your stereo. Fix it!
Hwi.
Mwe is da bay bee.
Wiww woo be my dah dah?
Fwom,
Da Bay Bee
SKULLB: OH FOR FFFFFFFFFFF
BLUEBRY: That is god.
RAIKU: Su-
{There is a bell}
CHWOKA: AGH NO NOT THE BELL THAT HORRIBLE SHAPE AND UNGODLY MOUTH AND
SKULLB: STOP CRYING OR ILL HIT YOU MORE
BLUEBRY: Just "there is a bell"? Whoa, so experimental.
RAIKU: Let Me get that!
CHWOKA: Oh, it was only the sound of a bell.
{He gets the door. There is a baby.}
BLUEBRY: First there was a bell, then there was a baby.
RAIKU: Hi, I'm Raiku! What's your name and why are you here?
CHWOKA: I know when I see a baby, the first thing I do is interrogate it.
{the baby looks up}
BABY: 'CAUSE ME WAN TO KILL WOO AND EAT WOOR BWAINS OUT WITH A SPOONY!
SKULLB: YOU SPOONY BARD
RAIKU: I am a mary-sue! That is impossible!
CHWOKA: I love it when they admit failure, but still refuse to improve in any direction.
NOXIGAR: What failure is Raiku exactly...admitting to?
BABY: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! {hits with raddle}
BLUEBRY: Did you mean: rattle
RAGGON: Aww! A baby! Can we keep him?
{the baby throws a stinky
BLUEBRY: Is using adjectives as nouns the new hip thing?
NOXIGAR: Why of course, ya SPOONY.
at Raggon. The baby giggles and hugs his Elmo}
RAIKU: Oh no you don't! NO ONE HURTS RAGGON BUT ME! {He destroys the elmo and then breaks his raddle.}
BLUEBRY: Did you mean: rattle
BABY: Idiot. {has a stinky bazooka.
BLUEBRY: That bazooka REEKS!
NOXIGAR: A lot of havoc.
He starts firing}
RAIKU: {blows it up and puts the baby in a pantry}
SKULLB: Something tells me he has experience with children.
BABY: {warps out, grabs knife} Don't make mwe use tis!
RAIKU: Hmm... A Partronian. Those sneaky devils!
BABY: Woo made mwe!
BLUEBRY: Did he say "Who made me?"
{stabs Raiku. Raiku isn't affected}
RAIKU: Nice try!
{the room fills up with smoke. The baby is gone. There is a note.}
RAIKU: No you don't. {Warps. Comes back with a grown aliens dead body} He was in diguise?!?
SKULLB: ... That's it? That's all?
BLUEBRY: It would be ever worse if he was in disguise.
NOXIGAR: {singing} With a thousand lies, and a good disguise
HIT 'EM RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES
HIT 'EM RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES
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