RiffText/MFT3K/Green Grass and High Tides Forever/1

CHWOKA: Well, at least that was the pilot episode, nobody would ever pick up that series-

Assaulting your peripheral vision, it's

CHWOKA: ...well, at least we'll have higher production budgets, professional writers, editorial staff, you know, the works.

GREEN GRASS AND HIGH TIDES FOREVER

CHWOKA: Oh, who am I fooling!? There is no quality control on the internet!

NOXIGAR: Internet? Quality control? I don't think anyone would like quality control on the Internet except those with extreme prejudices. And they already get shunned.

---

CHAOS: So, what are we all doing today?

EMERL: I say we go to the beach.

SKULLB: Now why would we introduce the characters? That would be stupid.

GEMERL: But then we'd rust!

EMERL: Oh, yeah. Rust no good. So, what ARE we doing?

KANO: {lighting strikes; Kano appears} BOW DOWN TO ME!

PATRICK: {bowing down} I am not worthy. I am not worthy. I am not worthy.

{Gemerl kicks Patrick.}

SKULLB: Hahaha. Physical violence sure is funny.
CHWOKA: They're regular stooges!

GEMERL: Get up!

PATRICK: Can't you see that I'm bowing down to Kano?!?

GEMERL: Forget Kano! We all need something to do! You two should help us find something, instead of giving praise.

KANO: How DARE you say- {interupted}

IORI: {enters} Hey juys!

DALEK: {Comes in, wearing lots of gold.} Hey humans plus robots, plus whatever the hell you are Kano. By the way, I found a hidden treasure cave right over, behind Emerl. {Everyone looks behind Emerl to see a cave.}

SKULLB: That's a lot of people here.

NOXIGAR: Shouldn't be a big deal for someone like you who plans on riffing them all, right?

KANO: I'm a human too, Dalek.

EMERL: Was any of that chocolate?

CD-I MARIO: {enters} Hey guys! I heard one of you guys say chocolate.

CD-I LUIGI: {enters} Chocolate's good, but I prefer spaghetti.

DALEK: You know, Kano, my real name is... {A plane passes by, drowning his speech.} I said, my name is... {Fireworks.} MY NAME IS.... {Tay Zonday comes, and starts singing Chocolate Rain.} Oh screw it!

SMW CARTOON LUIGI: {enters} Hey, guys!

IORI: Hey, Luigi!

SMW CARTOON LUIGI: That's- {interupted}

KANO: Don't care.

DALEK: I need to exterminate someone!

{M.Bison comes in.}

M.BISON: Yes! YES!! {Gets Zapped.} No...

DALEK: That's much better.

STAN: Oh my god! You killed M.Bison!

KYLE: You-..

{Both get zapped.}

LIU KANG: {comes in bicycle kicking}

KANO: {shoots him with a laser from his robotic-eye-thing}

LIU KANG: {death scream}

GEMERL: CAN WE STOP KILLING PEOPLE AND DO SOMETHING ALREADY!?!?!?!

PATRICK: How about we play... Rock Band?

GEMERL: No, it's a rip off of several games. What can we do?

PATRICK: Rock Band is not a rip-off! ...Mortal Kombat?

KANO: Real life, or video game?

PATRICK: {mocking} Ooo, I think we should play real life MK! Where we can bleed badly and get our body parts chopped off! {normal} What do you think? Video game!

GEMERL: Real. It gives me something to blast.

EMERL: Real. I don't even know what we're voting about.

CHAOS: Real. I'm a demon, what'd you expect?

KANO: Real, so I get to kick some- {interupted}

IORI: Bottom.

KANO: ...That too.

PATRICK: But we could die! In a grewsome painfull death!

DALEK: Except for Kano.

PATRICK: .....Right, but still!

DALEK: And I only have one weakness.

SEPHIROTH: Stairs.

DALEK: Hey! Shutup!

CHAOS: I can't die.

GEMERL: And you can put us back together.

PATRICK: But what about everyone else?

KANO: I could bring you guys back to life if you die.

PATRICK: Ok! I'm in!

DALEK: Stairs can't kill me. It just inconveniences me. I mean, I can't fly, or stand. It's imtimidating to me! By the way, I am in.

GEMERL: On the count of 3. 3. {blasts Patrick's head off}

SHAO KAHN: Fatality!

DALEK: SILENCE FOOL!!! {Blasts Him, then Emerl. Iori starts running, but he gets blasted too.}

IORI: Owwwww! ....I hate that freaking robot.

DALEK: I'm not a robot. I'm a mutated alien, in a robot shell. Like all of my species.

EMERL: COPY ABILITY. {Picks up Dalek, gains his blaster, and shoots Iori with it again, turning him into a pile of ash.}

IORI: I'm already a pile of ash!

EMERL: SHUT UP. {Sweeps ashes into a sewer hole}

KANO: {uppercuts Emerl who explodes upon impact} Gotcha!

GEMERL: My turn! {throws a small missile at Kano, who explodes.}

KANO: {ressurects; uppercuts Gemerl who explodes upon impact} Gotcha too!

{Gemerl reforms, and rapidly kicks Kano.}

GEMERL: I-DON'T-DIE!

KANO: Yes-you-DO! {Gemerl explodes when Kano says "do"}

{Gemerl reforms, and merges with the Emerl's shell, making him Super Gemerl.}

SUPER GEMERL: Now you're in for some real deap-{Interrupted}

CHAOS: Crap?

KANO: {Super Gemerl explodes} I win!

{Super Gemerl reforms.}

SUPER GEMERL: No, you don't. I'm still alive, and in any case, you forgot to fight Chaos.

KANO: Fight Chaos, eh? {shoots a laser beam at Chaos, who in turn deflects it.}

CHAOS: Red Thunder! {launches a bolt of red lightning at Kano}

KANO: {dodges, uppercuts Chaos into a spikey pit}

CD-I MARIO: What about us?

{Chaos falls down midair, and pushes both CD-I Mario and Luigi into the pit.}

CHAOS: Nice try!

KANO: {uppercuts Chaos again and he falls down into the pit}

SUPER GEMERL: NOW YOU MUST BEAT GANON!

GANON: {morphs into Liu Kang} You will DIE!

KANO: If I did this twice, I can do it again. Die! {uppercuts Ganon into the pit}

GANON: No! Not into the pit! IT BURNS!

SUPER GEMERL: NOW WE MUST DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!

{Cut to the Field. Everyone is back to normal, and standing around.}

EMERL: Let us eat cake!

PATRICK: Hurray! Wait, we got this much text that fast? Can we continue?

EMERL: Sure, but we need at least 2 credits to continue.

{The screen stops, and flashes "GAME OVER" three times. Then it says continue, with a time counting down. Some random guy comes by and puts in 2 quarters. Everything turns back to normal, and continues.}

EMERL: Well, we need a new time-consuming event. What happens next?

IORI: Hmm... Let's go bother Cartoon Bowser and his minions!

GEMERL: We could always blow up a koopa or two, but how about we bother CD-I Link?

IORI: Okay!

{cut to CD-I Hyrule}

CD-I LINK: Gee, it sure is boring around here.

EMERL: {While falling} LEEEEEEEEE-RRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY JENKINS! {Lands on CD-I Link}

KING: Who are you? Why are you here? You can't have any of my dinner!

EMERL: I'm a robot, No reason, and I can't eat people food.

KANO: Oh, and CD-I Ganon, is DEAD. YOUR WELCOME.

KING: Tha- Oh. DINNERDINNERDINNER.

PATRICK: Dinner!

IORI: Dinner!

EMERL: Dinne-Breakfast?

IORI: Lunch?

CARTOON MARIO: Lunch.

IORI: I see.

EMERL: Brunch?

{Gemerl punches Emerl right upside the head.}

GEMERL: Idiot? Yes.

CARTOON LUIGI: That's Mama Luigi to you, Iori! {wheeze} I've been saving that since the beginning of this episode!

GEMERL: Too bad you waited until now to say it, because I'm going to kill you for the rest of the episode. {turns his arms into machine guns and rapidly fires, getting blood and Luigi guts all over the King's dinner.}

IORI: Oh em gee!

GEMERL: Shut it up! {Shoots Iori offscreen}

KANO: Quit shooting people! {shoots Gemerl offscreen}

EMERL: Oh, boy! Gun party! {turns both of his arms into proton cannons, flails them around the screen. The castle is destoryed.}

IORI: Now let's go bother Cartoon Bowser!

EMERL: OKAY!

{cut to Cartoon Bowser's castle}

CARTOON BOWSER: Wow, it sure is quiet around here.

IORI: LEEEEEEROYYYYYYY JEEENKINSSSS!

CARTOON BOWSER: Whoa! You scared me half to death! What's your malfunction? And who are you?

EMERL: Aww, I can't do my dramatic entrance now.

IORI: You can still say it.

KANO: Lets say it all together to bother Bowser! {quickley} And a 1 and a 2 and a 3! {everyone says LEROY JENKINS, but Bowser covers his ears}

CARTOON BOWSER: Ha! Didn't get me there!

{Chaos smashes into Bowser from, behind.}

CHAOS: LEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJANKANS!

CARTOON BOWSER: I think my ear drums are injured.

{Lemmy/Hip and Iggy/Hop Koopa enter}

LEMMY/HIP: What's with all the noise, King Dad?

IGGY/HOP: Hey Lemmy, look! It's Kano!

LEMMY/HIP: Kano! {Lemmy/Hip and Iggy/Hop run over to Kano and hug him}

KANO: Hey, guys.

GEMERL: THREAT TO ADORABILITY. AN-LIMINATE! {Blasts Iggy and Lemmy off of Kano, into Bowser.}

IGGY/HOP: Nice shot. {gives thumbs up}

KANO: Hey, I like those two. Why'd you shoot them?

GEMERL: THREAT TO ADORABILITY. {turns back to normal} Because you like them. Duh.

KANO: That's not a good reason...

IORI: What does "theat to adorability" mean?

GEMERL: THREAT TO MY CUTENESS.

KANO: Threat to your cuteness?!? You're a robot! You don't look... like.... anything......cute! If that is what you mean by threat to your cuteness.

GEMERL: {turns his arms into machine guns} WHAT WAS THAT?

KANO: You heard me! You, aren't, cute! You, are, UG-A-LY!

{Gemerl blasts Kano's head off, then kicks his body into the air, followed by chopping him up further by slicing him with a sword.}

GEMERL: EXTREME FATALITY.

KANO: {ressurects} I hope that made you feel better.

IORI: Hey, weren't we here to bother Bowser?

KANO: Wait, yeah, we are! Let's do it some more!

{Everyone constantly pokes Bowser's unconcious body.}

KANO: {notices Lemmy/Hip and Iggy/Hop are poking Bowser too} H & H, you're poking him too?

LEMMY/HIP: Yeah!

IGGY/HOP: Why not?

EMERL: Everybody-a-poking!

PATRICK: This is fun.

GEMERL: Oh, very.

IORI: Whee! I like obnoxiously poking people!

{A few seconds go by.}

GEMERL: OK, Now this is just boring the crap out of me.

IORI: Yeah. {stops} And Bowser woke up.

CARTOON BOWSER: Can you guys stop poking me?

IORI: How about... Mario Kart? Super Smash Bros? ...Pong?

GEMERL: Sonic Battle? King of Fighters? Mortal Kombat? The unreleased Doctor Who game? Hotel Mario? Watch Legend of Zelda toon?

IORI: Didn't that Sonic fighting game suck?

PATRICK: Didn't Hotel Mario suck? Oh wait, yes it did!

GEMERL: Hasn't everything we've done today sucked?

PATRICK: No, not everything. Most of everything we did didn't suck.

GEMERL: Except the Real life Mortal Kombat, annoying Link, and Poking Bowser.

KING: {jumps in} You'll pay for intterupting and ruining my dinner!

{Gemerl slowly raises his arm, and shoots The King offscreen.}

IORI: Wow, Sephym'n and his character(s) sure have been quiet.

GEMERL: I think they left and replaced themselves with cardboard cut-outs.

{cut to a cardboard cut-out of the Dalek. it falls over.}

IORI: What makes you say that?

GEMERL: Well, I have a hunch. That, and, they left a note.

IORI: What does the note say?

GEMERL: Well, I'm just gonna say that Dalek wrote it...because it's a pile of ash.

IORI: I see.

PATRICK: So, what do we do next?

GEMERL: Something that consumes about 15 more lines, then we end the segment. {FOURTH WALL BREAKAGE!!!}

PATRICK: Ok...

EMERL: Can we go to the beach NOW?

GEMERL: Well, I guess...

CARTOON BOWSER: Surprise attack! {attempts to surprise attack but Kano shoots him with a laser}

EMERL: BEACH!

{Cut to the beach, where a counter reading "10" is sticking out of the ground.}

GEMERL: Well, this is fun. So, who wants to play volleyball?

{The counter changes to 9.}

PATRICK: Nah.

IORI: Nah.

KANO: Nah.

{The counter falls down to 6.}

KANO: 5...

IORI: 4...

PATRICK: 3...

CD-I MARIO: 2...

CD-I LUIGI: 1...

GEMERL: I kind of hate you guys for this.

{The counter falls down to zero, and the episode ends.}

NOXIGAR: ...where's all the metacontextual jokes? Was the slapstick too much for the Choom Gang? I really think bringing back Sandbox Battels would be cool.