RiffText/MFT3K/1-Up Emails/tampo

1-UP EMAIL 54!

1-Up starts to not like Tampo

SKUB: Didn't everybody after like 40 emails?

and gets into a fight with him.

Cast (in order of appereance): 1-Up, Tampo, Brody, Stlunko, Strong Bad (Easter Egg), The Cheat (Easter Egg)

Transcript

1-UP: {singing} I check the email all day. I check the email all night. But, If you scare me then I'll get a fright.

BLUEBRY: BOO
SKUB: wah

Dear 1-Up,
Tampo's email show is much
better than yours!
-Cradgage

{Pronounces "yours" as "Stinkoman's"}

1-UP: {typing} Well, Duh.

SKUB: You took the words right outta my mouth, there.

I know that "Tampo's Email Show is much better than Stinkoman's." Oh, wait. You mean, mine.

BLUEBRY: you mutilated that joke more than you mutilate the english language
SKUB: And that's and Achievement.

NOXIGAR: Ah, the times where I wish I paid attention to all those Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki emails four years ago!

That is totaly mean. I want pudding... {short pause} ...to destroy you! I curse chocolate pudding on you!

SKUB: That's good, negative association is great to help beat addiction. I think.

That is it. I am going to go get that stupid Tampo.

CHWOKA: A giant brain that's stupid? That doesn't make sense!!!!

NOXIGAR: Having a giant brain doesn't excuse you from being stupid sometimes.

{Cuts to the 20X6 Field. Tampo, Brody and Stlunko are there}

TAMPO: Yeah. Maybe destroying 1-Up would make us happy.

BLUEBRY: it'd make me happy too
SKUB: YEAH, IT— got dangit Bluebry stop TAKING MY JOKES

NOXIGAR: YEAH, IT- DAMN IT, SKULLBUGGY! STOP LETTING YOUR JOKES GET TAKEN BY BLUEBRY!

1-UP: {waqlks onscreen}

BLUEBRY: excuse me, i have to go to the bathroom. {waqlks away}

I have come to challenge you Tampo.

TAMPO: Oh, Hello 1-Up. No thanks. I don't want to fightyou.

BLUEBRY: i just want to talktoyou

You will just lose.

1-UP: What? What do you mean?

BLUEBRY: he means you suck

BRODY: Because you are the chosen one's sidekick.

1-UP: What? You think that "the guy" is the chosen one?

STLUNKO: Well, Of course. Why else do you think we have been trying to destroy him?

SKUB: Maybe because Stinkoman's kind of a prick?

1-UP: Silly guys. I am the chosen one.

SKUB: Uuuuuuugh

NOXIGAR: Hm, makes me wish you actually used 8 "u"s as opposed to only 7.

{Tampo, Brody and Stlunko gasp}

BLUEBRY: hey, did you also know that gullible isn't in the dictionary?

TAMPO: I knew it.

STLUNKO: You did?

TAMPO: Of course. Why do you think I made 1-Up on our side before. {sighs}

SKUB: Dangit, do I need to research more canon for this?

NOXIGAR: You do.
NOXIGAR: It will not only make you more knowledgable on the subject matter, but you can use your knowledge of canon to save this riff from being awful.

BRODY: I am your father!

BLUEBRY: {gasps} so much drama

1-UP: No, your not. You are a bird and I am an no-armed guy.

SKUB: Astute observation, kid.

STLUNKO: Will you shut up about that Star Wars crap, Brody?

BRODY: Sorry. I just like Star Wars a lot.

TAMPO: Alright, 1-Up. Fine. I shall fight you.

BLUEBRY: it's like they wanna fight, but they also just wanna chat a bit
SKUB: "Before I punch you in the teeth, how's your day been?"

STLUNKO: Well, I can see where we aren't need.

BLUEBRY: dude that sucks. i hate feeling like i'm not need.

NOXIGAR: I mentioned a long-ass time ago how you were not needed for this riff.

Come on, Brody. Let's go back to the Lunar Warehouse.

SKUB: Okay, admittedly, I don't know half the crap that's being namedropped.

NOXIGAR: Exactly why you need to research Stinkoman canon?
NOXIGAR: Because this is the worst thing you guys have ever riffed in your show's sad existence, and you botch even making fun of this crap.

{Stlunko and Brody leave}

1-UP: I am ready. {Spin-kicks Tampo's red orb}

TAMPO: Ouch! Hey! That is unfair.

BLUEBRY: sucks to be you
SKUB: He not need that kind of pain in his life <:(

You know my weakness and got the first shot.

SKUB: "YOUR TECHNIQUES ARE IMPRESSIVE, BUT CAN YOU DEFEAT MY PERFECT CELL FORM"

1-UP: Fine. I'll let you have a free shot.

TAMPO: Hehehehehe. This won't take long.

{Tampo's red orb begins to glow with a bright blue colour}

1-UP: Oh no! Tampo, Why are you using the Laserbeam Alpha X3?

BLUEBRY: {he said just standing there, not running away or attempting to defend himself}

TAMPO: It is the only way to destroy you, chosen one!

SKUB: "IT IS TIME FOR ME TO EXPLAIN MY ATTACK! DO NOT MOVE, BUTTHORDE"

1-UP: Uh Oh!

TAMPO: {Shoots a very, very, very, very big blue laser at 1-Up. 1-Up is blown into Space. Then, He falls back down and hits the ground reallly hard}

1-UP: Ouch... Arg... {Faints}

SKUB: Oh for ffffffffgh

NOXIGAR: PARKIES

TAMPO: Ha! I've won!

1-UP: {Gets up} I... won't... lose...

SKUB: "VEGETAAAAAAAA"

TAMPO: What are you going to do about it? I could destroy you right here if I wanted. But, I need to use you for something.

BLUEBRY: then why did you try to destroy him earlier

1-UP: If you help me, then I'll help you.

TAMPO: Grr... Fine. What is your request?

SKUB: "Can you stop down at the 7-11, get me a Diet Dr. Pepper?"

NOXIGAR: IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE DIET SODA TASTES LIKE PISS

1-UP: I request only that you help me defeat this horrible evil that destroyed my home.

TAMPO: You mean your Mansion?

BLUEBRY: "No, my summer home in Martha's Vineyard"

NOXIGAR: Note-to-self: Martha's Vineyard should be a location in Wikihood.
NOXIGAR: Unless Chaos and Lex say otherwise.

1-UP: Yes.

TAMPO: Very well. But,

BLUEBRY: But,

Our fight is not over. After we have completed our agreement and your health is at it's maximum, you better be prepared.

1-UP: Oh. I will.

TAMPO: I'll see you tommorow when we shall destroy whoever destroyed your mansion.

1-UP: Before you leave, I congratulate you on your success on your email show.

TAMPO: Thanks for the compliment. But,

BLUEBRY: But,

NOXIGAR: I'd point out that you're just using the same joke over and over, but I've got a slew of running gags I've kept on using against you guys because that's one of the common flaws in your riffs. Not even kidding, you guys do have a knack for repeating stuff like SPOOK CLIFF and the like. I actually alienated myself from doing a different thing on Season 2 entirely because of it.

We are still enemies.

1-UP: Fair enough, my old friend. Fair enough.

{Tampo leaves. Cutrs back to the Broken Lappy 486}

1-UP: {walks in and sits on the stool}

SKUB: Oh noooo, I just got that dry-cleaned

See? I have a pretty good email show too.

BLUEBRY: aaaaaahahahahahaha sure

And besides-

1 new message!

1-UP: What the? What is this?

{The email appears on the Broken Lappy's screen}

Hey Strong Bad,
I've noticed you haven't said, "Holy Crap" in a while. 
You always cracked me up when ever you'd say it.  
I think you should say it more,it spices up your insults!

Stinkoman K

SKUB: I Get it.

NOXIGAR: I don't. But, what else is new?

1-UP: Strong Bad? I'm 1-Up! Oh, well. I might as well say the famous quote that made Strong Bad so famous when he checks he's emails. Here we go... Holy Crap!

{The Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

• Click on "Holy Crap!" to see Strong Bad at the stick.

Transcript

{Cuts to Strong Bad and The Cheat at the stick}

STRONG BAD: Holy Crap!

SKUB: Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho

NOXIGAR: (read: the only time a 1-Up Emails Easter Egg is legitimately funny)