(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/LegendofNachoMan
Long Ago...
...there was a land known as Hyrule. In this land, many beings prospered--from the rock-eating Gorons to the water-dwelling Zora to the forest Kokiri.
NOXIGAR: Why do I get the feeling that Skullbuggy's writing will probably be good, despite this seemingly trainwreck-y premise?
The one who ruled over all of Hyrule was none other than the King, whose daughter, NachoMan, was next to rule the land. However, tragedy struck when the evil king Sephiroth came and kidnapped the Princess, leaving but one child to save the world.
NOXIGAR: Wait why is Lex being portrayed as the bad guy?
Bluebry.
NOXIGAR: Now would be a good time to point out I haven't played a single Zelda game ever. I've seen people Let's Play it, and don't feel my experience would be any different from the LPers' experiences.
In a Land Far Away...
There Was a Hero...
Shadow Scythe, Shwoo, and Super Sam - The three Triforce Goddesses who created the Earth, according to Skullbuggy. His memory has been running recently, though, so don't count on it.
Sephiroth - A nightmarish Gerudo king who kidnapped Princess NachoMan. Appeared to Bluebry in his dream.
Skullbuggy - A massive tree who gives life to all the Kokiri. Dies shortly after meeting Bluebry due to unknown complications.
Chwoka - The fairy given to Bluebry by the Great SkullB Tree. Likes to give advice. A lot.
Bluebry - Hero of Time and nice guy. Is assisted by his fairy, Chwoka.
TheDenzel - Bluebry's best friend and Sage of the Forest. Gives Bluebry the Fruity Flute.
TheCheese - Noted troublemaker and local bully in the Kokiri Forest.
NachoMan - The daughter of the king and soon-to-be ruler of Hyrule.
Brooksie - Bluebry's trusted steed. Befriended when Bluebry was young.
NOXIGAR: I find this whole thing ironic for some reason. I can't put my finger on it, but I am tasting some juicy irony.
