(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/KickCheat E-mails/Mr. Shivers
KickCheat E-mails #10
Someone named Mr. Shivers is after KickCheat and his capsules. This was never completed.
LIGHTNING GUY: Oh, what a shame.
Cast: (in order of appearance): KickCheat, Stinkoman, Strong Bad, The Cheat, Homestar Runner, 1-Up, Mr. Shivers
Places: Ice Zone
Computer: Lappy HC
Lines: 53
Script
{Cut to KickCheat, Stinkoman, Strong Bad, The Cheat, Homestar Runner and 1-Up in the Ice Zone}
KICKCHEAT: This place is cold.
LIGHTNING GUY: "I thought a place called the Ice Zone would be much warmer."
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, well you are lucky. I am freezing!
LIGHTNING GUY: That's exactly what he...forget it.
STRONG BAD: {Coldly} Where is my sweat shirt?
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
STRONG BAD: You burned it on a cold evening?
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
LIGHTNING GUY: Translated: How else could I could I cook these wonderful The Cheat noises! Also, I'll gnaw your freaking face off.
STINKOMAN: KickCheat.
LIGHTNING GUY: Predicate.
Why don't you check an e-mail to waste some time?
KICKCHEAT: {Gets out his Lappy HC} Brrr! E-mails!
Dear KickCheat,
Do you have a pet?
From 0100110101000001010100100100100101001111
KICKCHEAT: Yes, I have one dog and two cats. I used to have five fish, but they all died.
LIGHTNING GUY: "Now that I think about it, letting the fish swim in the cats' water bowls wasn't my brightest of plans."
{Puts the Lappy HC away}
1-UP: {looks up} Guys! Look out!
{1-Up kicks KickCheat offscreen and 1-Up runs after him}
STRONG BAD: What the crap?
{A bolt of blue lightning hits Homestar, Strong Bad, The Cheat and Stinkoman}
STINKOMAN: Ahh! Red button lightning!
LIGHTNING GUY: Ahh! How original!
{Homestar, Strong Bad, The Cheat and Stinkoman disappear. KickCheat and 1-Up walk onscreen}
KICKCHEAT: Red button lightning?
1-UP: It's a new invention Tampo made.
KICKCHEAT: Wait, how did you know that he made it?
LIGHTNING GUY: I JUST DO
1-UP: When Stinkoman was training, I was watching Tampo making things.
LIGHTNING GUY: There's nothing creepy about it. Don't judge me!
KICKCHEAT: The red button lightning was one.
1-UP: He also made a robot named Mr. Shivers.
KICKCHEAT: Mr. Shivers?
1-UP: Yeah. Mr. Shivers looks like a robot dragon.
KICKCHEAT: 1-Up. You are doing smart things.
LIGHTNING GUY: That's rare for any of the characters.
1-UP: I am?
KICKCHEAT: Yeah. Telling me useful things.
1-UP: Pudding!
LIGHTNING GUY: That's still one of the smartest lines on the page.
KICKCHEAT: Okay, that wasn't smart thing to say.
1-UP: Cool!
KICKCHEAT: Mr. Shivers must be in this ice zone.
LIGHTNING GUY: And there's no chance of seeing him in any other ice zone ever!
1-UP: What makes you say that?
LIGHTNING GUY: I JUST KNOW
KICKCHEAT: His name sounds like he would be in an ice zone.
1-UP: Pudding?
LIGHTNING GUY: Get this kid an Emmy!
KICKCHEAT: Cut the crap! We will have pudding once we figure who this dang Mr. Shivers guy is.
1-UP: Okay freak.
KICKCHEAT: Just where are Stinkoman, Strong Bad, The Cheat and Homestar?
{Cut to Mr. Shivers beside a large cage with nothing in it}
MR. SHIVERS: Augh! Does this red button even work? I have been waiting five minutes for those guys! I red button'ed em and five minutes is a really long time!
LIGHTNING GUY: "I know! That's how long it took for my wife to leave me."
Or, at least for me.
{Stinkoman, Strong Bad, The Cheat and Homestar appear inside the large cage}
MR. SHIVERS: That's freakin' better!
STINKOMAN: What do you want?
MR. SHIVERS: You out of the picture and your gold capsules. NOW!!!
LIGHTNING GUY: Say the magic word.
STRONG BAD: No. You suck.
MR. SHIVERS: What was that?!?!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: He said your a duck.
LIGHTNING GUY: {gasps} No one says my a duck!
STRONG BAD: No! I said he sucks and KickCheat has them!
{Moment of silence for 5 seconds}
MR. SHIVERS: Ummm....crap? Who is KickedCheat?
LIGHTNING GUY: La-
STRONG BAD: Lame.
LIGHTNING GUY: {angry} OK, you go in the gutter!
{Cut to KickCheat and 1-up}
{Screen freezes from a time space continuum and the e-mail is left unfinished}
LIGHTNING GUY: Yes! It's over now! I can finally leave and
what? There's a new season? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO