RiffText/Everything You Know Is Wrong/Episodes/8

Synopsis

While Homestar is away, the rest of the Homestar Runner characters play.

LIGHTNING GUY: And they all sit around bored while he's still in.

However, Cyrus, Shwoo, and Garzel retaliate better.

Transcript

{Cut to Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and the Cheat. They have seen what has remained of the Enselmo, which is now a bunch of ashes. Bubs and Coach Z are bulding

LIGHTNING GUY: IN A BULDING

a picnic table underneath the ashes, and the grill is next to the picnic table.}

BUBS: There! Now all we gotta do is that barbecue!

COACH Z: Hey, I see some ash underneath.

LIGHTNING GUY: But I thought the picnic table was underneath.

{Coach Z picks up the ash pile.}

BUBS: Oh yeah. I demolished the Enselmo a few days ago.

LIGHTNING GUY: Just another day's work.

I hope Strong Bad isn't too upset.

{Coach Z blows the ashes away. Cut to Strong Bad, Strong Mad and the Cheat, all angry.

LIGHTNING GUY: And stuff.

They attack Bubs and Coach Z, and tie them up.}

STRONG BAD: Thanks to that crazy doctor guy with an eggshaped physique,

LIGHTNING GUY: {sighs} I wonder who he's talking about.

we can penetrate the wiki like we mean it! Then Homestar won't be given special treatment!

{Strong Mad throws the picnic table into the barbecue grill that is the Cheat's house.

LIGHTNING GUY: That must be one big grill.

The Cheat manages to find a computer in Bubs' Concession Stand.}

STRONG BAD: Alright, the Cheat! Now let's get that hyperlink and we're in the wiki.

{The Cheat types on the computer's screen,

LIGHTNING GUY: But found that sitting on a screen was extremely uncomfortable.

www.hrwiki.org. Strong Bad and Strong Mad are all voiped into the wiki itself, The Cheat orchestrating the computer.}

STRONG MAD: THIS IS AWESOME!

STRONG BAD: What do we vandalise now?

LIGHTNING GUY: But you didn't vandalize anything yet.

I know! Homestar's character page!

{The Cheat clicks on Homestar Runner's character page. Cut back to Strong Bad and Strong Mad. They are in high school uniforms.}

STRONG BAD: Thanks, the Cheat! I think this IP address will help us vandalise the place!

LIGHTNING GUY: Because no one can block an IP address.

{The Cheat is seen smiling, his gold tooth shining. Cut back to Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: Let's get to vandalising! Every sysop and beauraucrat was out over at The World That Never Was! This should be a cakewalk!

LIGHTNING GUY: Looks like a street dance to me.

{The Cheat clicks on different wiki pages, with Strong Bad and Strong Mad vandalising. The sky outside the computer room is dark, indicating that it is nighttime. The Cheat is still on the computer.}

STRONG BAD: Alright, the Cheat. Get us outta here!

{The Cheat pushes the spacebar key and Strong Bad and Strong Mad voip back to the real world.}

LIGHTNING GUY: S i n c e w h e n h a s s p a c e b a r d o n e a n y t h i n g i m p o r t a n t?

STRONG BAD: Let's tell all our friends about the wiki. Then we can take it over and turn it into a KFC restaurant,

LIGHTNING GUY: NOOO! I wanted a Popeye's!

which will be owned by the King of Town.

{Cut to Bubs and Coach Z, still tied up}

BUBS: {whispering to Coach Z} It's a good thing I brought my video recorder.

COACH Z: Yea, yea, brilliarnt, but do ya has anything that can get us outta this mess?

BUBS: Nope, no knives.

LIGHTNING GUY: "I just have these extremely powerful hacksaws."

{Cut to Cyrus in his science lab. It is being spray-painted by Strong Bad and Strong Mad.}

CYRUS: NO! My projects! They do not need recolors!

LIGHTNING GUY: That's never stopped you before.

{Cyrus sends in a Poke-hybrid named Garzel}

GARZEL: What me do?

CYRUS: Stop those ruffians!

GARZEL: I must hear and obey.

{Garzel slices Strong Bad in half with Shadow Claw, Strong Mad tackles Garzel in response. Garzel does a High-Jump Kick to send Strong Mad to the opposite wall. Garzel then pulls out a Giga Impact

LIGHTNING GUY: A what to the what?

and knocks Strong Mad unconscious. Because of Giga Impact's requirement of power, Garzel is exhausted.}

CYRUS: Garzel, great job!

GARZEL: Thanks, master.

CYRUS: I believe more of them will be coming soon. They look like Strong Bad and Strong Mad.

LIGHTNING GUY: "That shirtless one is even bleeding profusely like Strong Bad would."

GARZEL: They are Strong Bad and Strong Mad.

CYRUS: Oh dang!

{Garzel heads upstairs and falls asleep.

LIGHTNING GUY: The action never stops.

Meanwhile, Strong Bad and Strong Mad are imprisoned by Cyrus.}

CYRUS: That'll teach 'em.

{Bubs and Coach Z appear, each armed with shotguns.

LIGHTNING GUY: They take their picnic tables seriously.

They see that Strong Bad and Strong Mad are imprisoned.}

BUBS: We missed out!

CYRUS: Yep, you did.

COACH Z: So, what do we do?

CYRUS: One: Don't vandalise.

LIGHTNING GUY: {disappointed} Oh.

Two: Enjoy your stay on the wiki.

LIGHTNING GUY: But I thought we couldn't vandalize.

Three: The King of Town has recently become a sysop on the wiki.

LIGHTNING GUY: How do I do that?

{Cut to the King of Town on the wiki, reverting all of Strong Bad and Strong Mad's vandalism}

KING OF TOWN: My job is paying me $27 a log-in!

LIGHTNING GUY: Who are you talking to, you fat old lard?

{Cut back to Cyrus, Bubs, and Coach Z.}

BUBS: So the King of Town is getting paid more than my office work?

{Cyrus nods}

BUBS: I'm going on strike!

LIGHTNING GUY: Screw talking to the boss! Drastic action is necessary!

{Bubs voips back to reality.

LIGHTNING GUY: Oh, so the wiki isn't real! That explains so much.

Cut back to Coach Z and Cyrus}

COACH Z: So what am I gonna do now?

CYRUS: You gotta feed Garzel before he goes on a rampage. Last time he stole all of Bubs' chicken wings.

COACH Z: I don't think retconnin' is gonna do any good.

{Shwoo hits Coach Z with a pretzel stick. He dies.}

LIGHTNING GUY: {tense} Let's. Just. Stick. With the. Retcon.

SHWOO: Coach Z is spamming all over the place!

CYRUS: Uh, no he wasn't he was just talking to me.

LIGHTNING GUY: I thought he was he was just talking to you.

SHWOO: Well, then the only person we have to worry about is The Cheat.

{The Cheat hacks into Shwoo and Cyrus' minds,

LIGHTNING GUY: OK, that'll work.

and forces them to make out with each other.

LIGHTNING GUY: I think Noxigar was abused as a child.

Aruseus is seen behind the Cheat.}

ARUSEUS: Awesome.

{The Kool-Aid man pops up from a wall, seeing Shwoo and Cyrus make out.}

KOOL AID MAN: Oh yeah!

LIGHTNING GUY: WHAT THE CRAP IS GOING ON.

{Cyrus and Shwoo stop making out. Garzel wakes up and uses Shadow Claw to cut Kool Aid Man open.}

KOOL AID MAN: Oh no!

LIGHTNING GUY: For some reason, his blood looks delicious.

{Cut to Shwoo watching this on her computer.}

SHWOO: NO! That can't have...been me?

{Cut to Cyrus who also watched it}

CYRUS: Well, at least this guy gave me a huge role in it.

LIGHTNING GUY: Why would you want that? Why would anyone want that? Do you just get some kind of immense pleasure seeing your name in someone else's fanstuff?

{Cut to the Cheat's computer. All of it showed. Everyone else is seen sitting on a chair in the audience.}

STRONG BAD: The Cheat, that was awesome! Let's hand this to the Organization XIII guy!

LIGHTNING GUY: Wait, we're talking about Noxigar, right?

HOMESTAR: It's not me-centwic enough though.

STRONG MAD: SCREW THE RULES I HAVE MONEY!

LIGHTNING GUY: And no one screws the rules better than this show.

{Strong Mad punches Homestar with a 100-dollar bill}

MARZIPAN: It's all about the Benjamins, baby!

LIGHTNING GUY: Hey! No one makes bad 90s references but me!

STRONG BAD: Can you tell me where you digitized the Kool Aid Man, the Cheat?

{Cut to it all being watched by Shadow Scythe}

SHADOW SCYTHE: I animated that, not the Cheat!

LIGHTNING GUY: It's so hard to tell.

{Cut to it being watched by Noxigar, who is wating

LIGHTNING GUY: wat

popcorn}

NOXIGAR: My stuff is getting better. Keep it up!

LIGHTNING GUY: The creator's opinion is so valuable to us.

{Cut to Namine having made the whole episode. She is dressed up like Homestar Runner.}

NAMINE: {impersonating Homestar} Well, fans of evewybody, evewybody. We wegwet to infowm you that Shwoo and Cywus is the new shipping.

LIGHTNING GUY: That's riggity rack, yo.

{End 'sode}

Spot the References

Real World References

• In the popular YouTube/DailyMotion series Yu-Gi-oh The Abridged Series, one of Seto Kaiba's catchphrases is "Screw the rules, I have money!". This was also parodied in a spinoff of YGOTAS, Yu Gi Oh Abridged Series The Movie, in which Kaiba says "Screw the money, I have rules!", then soon realizing his error.

Comments

Like it? Or not? Noxigar 22:40, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

ShwooXCyrus shippers = MAJOR O DER. Wow, Shwoo's like...four years older than me, but she's one year older than Cyrus Falcon himself.

1. REDIRECT User:Lucian Summers/sig 23:48, 23 October 2007 (UTC)

AGGLE FRAGGLE! Eww.... --Homestar tiger 21:24, 2 June 2008 (UTC)