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RiffText/Everything You Know Is Wrong/Episodes/5

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Oh no, a plot point! Homestar finds the Computer Room with Vector the Crocodile and, um, I think that's it in terms of important stuff.

LIGHTNING GUY: I love this show's definition of "important".


{Cut to Homestar in a cardboard room, reading a newspaper known only as "The Wiki Times"}

HOMESTAR: This newspapew is


wubbish. I'm going to go find whoevew wote it.

LIGHTNING GUY: And give him a sevewe paddling.

{Homestar walks outside the room. He realizes he is in StrongBadia's SPASAF ship.}

LIGHTNING GUY: What happened to their SBASAF ship? "I knew we shouldn't have done that thirteenth mission..."

HOMESTAR: I think the cawdboawd just got lawgew.

LIGHTNING GUY: Law goo? What?

{Homestar enters the main control room, where Strong Bad and the Cheat are.}

STRONG BAD: The Cheat! There's trouble in the Command Center!

{Homestar gives Strong Bad a weirded

LIGHTNING GUY: Weird dad? I have too many of those to count! I hate you, mom.

out look}

HOMESTAR: Did you say thewe's twouble in the Command Centew? Stwong Bad, you need to be mowe

LIGHTNING GUY: They see me mowing.


{Homestar kicks the Cheat into Strong Bad's stomach. They fall out of the cardboard ship and make a hole.

LIGHTNING GUY: In the cardboard ship or the ground they fall on? If it's both, they must have eaten one too many candy bars.

Vector the Crocodile appears.}

LIGHTNING GUY: Why? Just why? There are plenty of Homestar characters and wiki users to choose from! Are you that intent on torturing me?

VECTOR: Well, if it isn't Homestar!

{Several alarm sounds are going off. The hole leads to Strong Badia, with Strong Bad and the Cheat unconscious.}

VECTOR: We've got to make it to the Computer Room before this place collapses! Feel like giving me a hand?

HOMESTAR: Suwe, why not?

LIGHTNING GUY: His name's not Sue, it's Vector!

{Homestar and Vector head to Strong Bad's room in the Enselmo.}

VECTOR: Homestar, that isn't the right way!

{Cut to the wiki. The sysops are working.}

SHWOO: Uh-oh! There's trouble in the-

CLAMBURGER: Not another Command Center joke, Shwoo!

LIGHTNING GUY: That was supposed to be a joke?

SHWOO: What? Anyway, some odd thing is happening to the Enselmo. Apparently some crocodile from a different series got there and is having Homestar look for a computer room.

JOSHUA: Aw, gosh darnit, we just reverted 27 million vandals!

LIGHTNING GUY: Aw, gosh darnit, more traffic fraud!

We also have to take care of the Subpage rule! There's no time for a cardboard ship anyway!

LIGHTNING GUY: The Cardboard Ship Anyway gets no love.

{Cut to Homestar and Vector on the roof of the cardboard ship. Pan below to find Bubs with a lighter.}

BUBS: Note to viewers.

LIGHTNING GUY: That's not a sentence.

Marzipan says this SPASAF thing is a waste of cardboard and aluminum foil. So, I'm getting paid $500 just to burn this so-called "ship" the Enselmo is.

LIGHTNING GUY: How does burning it make it any less of a waste?

{Bubs lights the lighter and approaches the Enselmo. Cut back to Homestar and Vector near the edge of one of the wings. They see a computer room at one of the basement windows of the ship.}

VECTOR: Bingo! The computer room!

LIGHTNING GUY: This sounds so much like Vector.

{Vector dives into the Computer Room, bringing Homestar along.}

VECTOR: We've found the computer room!

HOMESTAR: What was this fow again?

VECTOR: We've found the Homestar Runner Wiki! We can get in!

LIGHTNING GUY: Why the crap would some Sonic character go looking for an obscure fansite?

HOMESTAR: Uh... okay. I guess we could go thewe.

{Cut to the wiki. Only Clamburger and Joshua are on their computers.}

CLAMBURGER: Homestar and that crocodile have found us out!

LIGHTNING GUY: But they found the knowledge base.

What do we do?

JOSHUA: Uh... nothing. In fact, why don't we congratulate them for their intelligence?

CLAMBURGER: You know if Homestar finds us out then the fourth wall is broken, right?

LIGHTNING GUY: And the fourth wall is so valuable in this show.

JOSHUA: I don't care.

{Homestar and Vector make it to the wiki. They are at the Burger King.}

LIGHTNING GUY: {scoffs} My wiki has a McDonalds.

VECTOR: Woohoo! We're on the wiki!

LIGHTNING GUY: It sounds like him so freaking much.

{Cut to a see-through person behind them}

???: Congratulations. I hope you enjoy your stay on the wiki.

HOMESTAR: Hey, what's youw name?

???: I am Agent Seethroo. Pleasure to meet you.

LIGHTNING GUY: Now we have actual HRWiki admins?

{Agent Seethroo and Homestar shake hands.}

AGENT SEETHROO: Anyway, I have to get going. So, see ya!

{Agent Seethroo warps out. Homestar and Vector head in line to the Burger King. Cut to the wiki office upstairs.}

JOSHUA: Well that was just awesome.

LIGHTNING GUY: Well That was terrible! Don't even lie!

MARKIE: Hey, why do I have so few lines?

EKUL: I don't think the author knows you too well, and-

LIGHTNING GUY: No one knows Markie. He's a tough nut to crack.

{Shwoo hits Ekul in the head with a pretzel stick}

SHWOO: Okay, now that we have less idiocy,

LIGHTNING GUY: We will NEVER have less idiocy. NEVER.

what is it we're here for?

CLAMBURGER: In all ways but one Homestar

LIGHTNING GUY: Sorry, other Homestar, you're a way too.

and the crocodile known as Vector have infiltrated the wiki. Hopefully they are not stupid enough to tell their companions in their homeworlds.

LIGHTNING GUY: Shakespeare liked to coin new words, too. Got to celebrate it!

THATKIDSAM: I don't think we can consider Homestar Runner as a threat. After all-

{A "THE END" screen appears near the Burger King. End 'sode.}

Spot the References


Inside References

Real World References


Find the computer room! LOOK IT OVER! Noxigar 19:08, 12 October 2007 (UTC)