RiffText/Everything You Know Is Wrong/Episodes/3

Synopsis

Znex and Homestar don't exactly get along after algebra homework,

LIGHTNING GUY: But during algebra homework, it's all fair game.

Badstar gets run over by a Pit Lord,

LIGHTNING GUY: Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.

Blood Knight and Vindicator duel with blades, and the King of Town spams people, telling them to do barrel rolls and then getting eaten by the Zergling Mudkip.

Transcript

{Znex is in Homestar's room, trying to do his homework.}

ZNEX: Mehehe...

LIGHTNING GUY: What an ego.

now to just get this final algebra problem and I'll be on my way to getting Homestar's fame!

{5 seconds later, Znex heads downstairs to Hoemstar's living room.}

ZNEX: Come out, come out wherever you are, Homestar!

{Homestar jumps on Znex, disguised as the Ask A Ninja guy}

LIGHTNING GUY: These rapes are getting a lot more creative!

HOMESTAR: I look fowawd to killing you soon!

LIGHTNING GUY: Just to make sure he doesn't talk, though.

{Cut to Badstar at an Old Navy mall. This music plays in the background: [1]}

LIGHTNING GUY: Since when do malls play video game music?

BADSTAR: Strong Bad doesn't have any shirts! I must go get him some!

LIGHTNING GUY: I wish my lover shopped for me like that.

{Badstar walks towards the Old Navy, but gets run over by a Pit Lord}

PIT LORD: Aggh, what is it with these wiki people and trying to get Strong Bad shirts? I think Strong Bad's cooler without a shirt. Geez, fangirls, get a life!

LIGHTNING GUY: I just made that last sentence my Facebook status.

{The Pit Lord charges offscreen. Cut to Blood Knight and Vindicator fighting with scythe and claymore.}

VINDICATOR: What is it with you guys? Aggh, you stupid World of WarCraft reference! Outta my domain!

LIGHTNING GUY: I see you wanna be the master of your domain.</90s reference>

{Vindicator chops Blood Knight in half. Blood Knight pops back}

BLOOD KNIGHT: That's the 27th time you've chopped me in half.

LIGHTNING GUY: 28 must be your lucky number, then.

{Several Blood Knights are seen having been chopped in half. Bubs carries a wagon, and picks up a few corpses}

BUBS: Bring out your dead!

LIGHTNING GUY: I've been waiting forever for you to come by! {takes a large bag from under the seat}

{Blood Knight and Vindicator look at Bubs rather peculiarly. After 2 seconds, they resume combat. Cut to King of Town in Thunder Bluff, where Cow Puncher is surrounded by several Bluffwatchers.}

KING OF TOWN: Do a barrel roll!

LIGHTNING GUY: That's it. Screw this. {points a gun to his mouth}

{King of Town runs offscreen. Cut to Znex and Homestar fighting each other. Homestar's still in the Ask a Ninja costume.}

HOMESTAR: King of Town tells a ninja...

{King of Town runs onscreen. He stops to see Znex and Homestar kicking each other's butts.}

KING OF TOWN: Do a barrel roll!

LIGHTNING GUY: {pulls the trigger}

{King of Town runs offscreen. Cut to Shadow Scythe on his computer, using Macromedia Flash to make a Strong Bad email parody. King of Town runs offscreen.}

LIGHTNING GUY: {muffled} But he never ran onscreen.

KING OF TOWN: Do a barrel roll!

LIGHTNING GUY: {takes gun out mouth} Crap, I forgot to load this. Oh well, maybe he's done.

{King of Town runs offscreen. Shadow Scythe makes a confused look on his face.}

SHADOW SCYTHE: What he say?

LIGHTNING GUY: You not want to know.

Anyway, let's check our email.

{Shadow Scythe opens up a bronze screen and types: shadowscythe_email.exe.}

Dear Shadow Scythe,
How do you type with tentacles?

Sincerely,
Artificial Chaos

{Shadow Scythe reads the email}

SHADOW SCYTHE: And this gets the DELETED award of 2007!

LIGHTNING GUY: What? I spent negative three years trying to win that award!

{Shadow Scythe deletes the email. Cut to Blood Knight and Vindicator, still fighting. King of Town rushes on by, stopping to watch the fight.}

KING OF TOWN: Do a barrel roll!

LIGHTNING GUY: {hits himself with the gun} WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

{King of Town rushes off, but comes to a dead end. Noxigar is behind him.}

NOXIGAR: Well, well, Mr. Vandal. Looks like you're about to be banned!

LIGHTNING GUY: {dazed} Off with his head!

Let my Zergling Mudkip show you justice. Nworb Enaj Yeslek!

{The Zergling Mudkip appears and eats the King of Town whole.

LIGHTNING GUY: {pauses, then hits himself with the gun again} WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

Cut to Znex, who just watched it all.}

ZNEX: Can it get any dumber?

{Zeeky Boogy Doog appears}

ZBD: Zeeky Boogy Doog!

{Znex's head explodes.

LIGHTNING GUY: {groans} Lucky.

Cut to Sephiroth who is behind ZBD}

SEPHIROTH: Your head asplode!

{End episode.}

LIGHTNING GUY: {looks at the large bag still beside him} Will Bubs come by again shortly?

Comments

... Just review it. Noxigar 17:52, 5 October 2007 (UTC)

Whoa! This time I don't nearly become part of some tentacle Hentai! Cool! Lex 16:35, 9 October 2007 (UTC)

I wouldn't call it "hentai". The episode itself revolved around Shadow Scythe's tentacles attempting to choke people to death. Noxigar 16:59, 9 October 2007 (UTC)

I know that, but in the Anime community, Tentacles are associatied with Hentai. That's the joke. Lex 17:25, 9 October 2007 (UTC)

Oh dear, really? >_< Noxigar 17:26, 9 October 2007 (UTC)

Ja. I'm not gonna tell you the details about it though. Lex 17:28, 9 October 2007 (UTC)

Good idea. Noxigar 17:29, 9 October 2007 (UTC)

Hentai is well... can I say it? P- *is killed by raids of 13 year olds with bleeding ears* User:ApocalypX/sig 21:06, 9 October 2007 (UTC)

Tentecles don't always have to be with that. I assume he has tentecle arms... —H44WP 21:37, 9 October 2007 (UTC)