(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/BQ/9
{cut to outside of a theater. eberybody but the villains and Vegerot are there. Vegerot runs out}
VEGEROT: Hey guys!!!! The movie's back on!!!
ALL BUT VEGEROT: YAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!
{Everybody runs in. The movie cointinues.}
NARRATOR: Last time on Bell Quest...
ALL: A RECAP?!!!
NARRATOR: And now, to the movie!
ALL: YAY!!!
{The movie continues.}
NAMINE: Crowd's a little too excitable.
PTER: Ebeneezer, do I dare ask... how could you possibily be alive?
EBENEEZER: Alive? Who said anything about me being alive? {arm falls off} I died of a horrible sickness 120 years ago when me and my family migrated to FCUSA form German...Irelan...Germanirelandystralia!
NAMINE: I kind of wish Badstar and Bell didn't half-ass Ebeneezer's character.
NEOSTINKOMECH: I'm also a zombie and that creeps me out!
DEMON BELL: WHY DO YOU KEEP FORGETTING ABOUT US!!!!!?????
SHINEZ: Uhh... because you suck?
DEMON BELL: {Takes out invert ray and zaps Pter.} HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
{When the blast hit's Pter, it clones him. The Pter clone has inverted colors and is evil.}
IM A BELL: Oh. Gad.DEMON BELL: {Zap's Bellson, same happens}
IM A BELL:{blinks} This is starting to suck. Very much.DEMON BELL: Wait till you see this!
NAMINE: I can't! Both JPEG files don't work.
{The Pter clone looks at Pter. His eyes glow. Pter slowly begins to fade out of exsistence.}
IM A BELL: PTER!!! I'll save you!!!
{Im a bell jumps in front of Pter. Im a bell mutates into a giant grren version of himself, then dissapears}
VEGEROT: Uhh...
DEMON BELL: {Zap's everbody else with the invert ray. Vegerot's clone is benevolent and female}
H44WP: What. The. Crap. That wasn't supposed to happen! It gets a rulebreaker!!!
BADSTAR: Why?
H44WP: 'Cuz I said so!!!!!
BADSTAR: What does benevolent mean?
IM A BELL: A benevolent person is nice, caring, and not at all evil. THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF VEGEROT!
NAMINE: Sometimes I wish the Fourth Wall got a little more respect around here.
BADSTAR: {To villains.} I don't get it. What are you guys trying to do?
H44WP: You know what? I'm not sure. Ask DB.
DEMON BELL: I'm just creating an army of evil anti-slaves
NAMINE: Anti-slaves? So, they'd be free? Still not sounding evil at all.
to rule the world. Wait, do you mean why we captured Bling?
BADSTAR: No.
DEMON BELL: Okay, then I just told you.
{The movie stops again.}
IM A BELL: O_o... Aw, holy crap! This movie is taking too frickin' long! Look, I'm getting the crap outta here.
NAMINE: You said Chapter 6 was the longest Chapter. What ma-
{Namine looks further down the page.}
NAMINE: Right. Chapter 9 is somehow longer.
Oh, and one more thing, you suck, 1-up.
1-UP: Why?
IM A BELL: Why do you think?!!
{Im a bell leaves the theater}
BADSTAR: Hey, the movies back on!
{The movie continues.}
STINKOMAN: Soo... Im a bell's gone...
BADSTAR: I am bell and Bellson, hold off the invert army! 1-UP and Kyubii, try to get that invert ray! Me and Anti-Bling are going to try and see if we can save Pter and Im a bell! Homestar, make me a sandwiche! Everybody else, run away screaming! BREAK!
{Everybody splits up.}
NAMINE: That was a quick change of leadership.
1-UP: So, Kyubii, I wasn't paying attention. What are we supposed to do?
KYUBII: We have to get that invert ray!
1-UP: WE HAVE TO GET THE SERUM THROUGH?!!!!
NAMINE: Badstar didn't mention a serum.
{Namine looks up above the page to do a double-take.}
NAMINE: Yeah, no. No serum.
KYUBII: Let's just go...
{Cut to Homestar.}
HOMESTAR: Okay... Lesse, I need... some bronco trolleys, some tenderbread, and a ketchup-covered marshmallow!
{Homestar gets these things out of a fridge and makes them into a sandwich}
HOMESTAR: I think this is a pretty awesome sandwich!
NAMINE: I like how this compares Homestar to Homeschool.
{Cut to Bellson and I am bell.}
I AM BELL: Bellson, do you ever feel like blowing stuff up?
BELLSON: Cousin doesn't let me use explosives, so I just use my incredible strength.
I AM BELL: You can't possibily be as strong as you say you are.
BELLSON: Oh, yeah? See those antis over there?
I AM BELL: Yeah.
{Bellson spits acid into one of the antis' eye. He then fires a nuclear missle at the other one}
{Bellson turns back to normal. His eyes widen.}
BELLSON: Oh my godI'velostmypowers! I gotta go find Acidchick-I mean-Acidgrrl.
{Bellson runs away}
NAMINE: Dependency on another person's presence as a condition to gaining awesome powers doesn't seem all that practical.
I AM BELL: WAIT! Don't just leave me here! Maybe I should tell him the truth that Acidgrrl got scared and left. Nah, it will funnier this way.
{cut to Bellson looking for Acidgrrl}
BELLSON: Acidgrrl! Acidgrrl! Where are you? Hey, a door.
{Bellson opens the door}
{Cut to Anti-Bling and Badstar.}
ANTI-BLING: Badstar, how do you think we can find Pter & Im a bell?
BADSTAR: {Thinking} Ummm... {A light bulb appears above his head.} I have a plan! Remember how I sent 1-UP and Kyubii to go get the invert ray?
ANTI-BLING: Yeah, why?
BADSTAR: Well, I was gonna have them destroy it, but instead... {Whispers in Anti-Blings ear.}
{Cut to 1-UP and Kyubii Hiding behind A golden tower with stairs. On top of the tower is Demon Bell and H44WP's throne.}
DEMON BELL: H44, Have you ever felt that a pudding lover and a nine tailed fox were about to sneak up on you?
NAMINE: Weird way to confirm omniscience, or at least good perceptive skills. Otherwise, good question.
H44WP: No, why?
KYUBII & 1-UP: Because one's about to right now!!!!!!!!!!
{1-UP Turns solid gold and rams the throne. The villains fall on to the ground and the invert ray goes flying through the air.}
NAMINE: Shouldn't the invert ray just break?
KYUBII: AAH!!! THE RAY! CATCH IT!!!
1-UP: YOU GET IT!
{Cut to Bellson in a dark room.}
BELLSON: W-why did this door close? Where am I?
{two red, glowing eyes appear}
BELLSON: AAH! Wh-who are you?
{A 300 feet tall rat comes out of the darkness. 5000 more 300 foot long rats come out of the darkness.}
NAMINE: Bellson should be choking to death, unless the chamber is huge enough to fit 5000 300 foot-long rats and Bellson.
BELLSON: ...Holy Jesus. Oh, well...
{Bellson kills all of the rats}
{They come back to life.}
BELLSON: Guess I have to destroy them. Acid spit! Crap. I forgot. I lost my powers. I gotta go find Acidgrrl!!!!
ONE OF THE RATS: Ummm... don't you know? Acidgrrl got scared and went back to 20X6.
BELLSON: What?!!! Noes!!! Wait, how can you talk? And why aren't you killing me?
{Namine facepalms}
NAMINE: You don't ask that.
{All the rat's attack. Cut to I am bell. he is surrounded by inverts.}
I AM BELL: Eep! BELLSON! Come back darn you! Waaah!!! I want my mommy! I want my brother! Okay, calm down... {takes a deep breath} Imma chargin' mah lazer!
{the inverts become confused}
I AM BELL: Imma firin' mah lazer!
{the inverts become scared}
I AM BELL: SHOOP-DA-WHOOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{I am bell fires a lazer out of his mouth and into the inverts. half of them are destroyed
NAMINE: Why only half?
Cut to 1-UP and Kyubii.}
KYUBII: WHERE'S THE RAY?
1-UP: I THOUGHT YOU HAD IT!
KYUBII: HEY! There it is! It's stuck on the wall! 1-up, go get it!
1-UP: It's too high up!
KYUBII: Pretend it's pudding!
1-UP: ...OhmygodIhavetogetit!!!!!!!!!
NAMINE: Pudding's all he honestly thinks about.
{1-up runs to the wall and jumps up to the ray and catches it. he jumps off of the wall and next to Kyubii}
KYUBII: Hooooooooly Jesus!
{1-UP gets kicked in the head by H44WP. 1-UP falls to the ground unconscious. Demon Bell grabs Kyubii by his tails and throw him into the wall. Kyubii becomes unconscious.}
DEMON BELL: Nice job!
H44WP: You too!
DEMON BELL: Except...
{Demon Bell peels away to reveal it's 1-up in a costume}
1-UP: I'm not Demon Bell!
H44WP: Wha?
{the unconscious 1-up is revealed to be Demon Bell. Kyubii wakes up}
KYUBII: Haha!
H44WP: Well, I have a suprise for you guys, too! That's not the real invert ray!
1-UP: Huh? Oh, we know.
{ 1-up pulls the REAL invert ray out}
KYUBII: THIS IS!
NAMINE: This joke went on for a little too long. Unless that's not the actual joke being made, and it's some other joke from left-field.
{Kyubii tries to zap H44WP, but the invert ray won't work.}
H44WP: Must be out of juice.
{H44WP moves in to kill 1-UP and Kyubii, but all of a sudden, Pterrax and Kyarri come out of a time portal.}
H44WP: ...HOLY JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PTERRAX: I'll kill y'all! Punchapunchapunchapunchapunchapunchapunchapunchaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
KYARII: {Talking very fast.} Hello!I'mKyarri!I'mgonnahurtya'bad! {Run's around in a circle around H44WP.} Wannapieceofme!? Huh? Doya'doya'doya? Huhhuhhuhhuhuhuhuhuhuh?
H44WP: ...You're annoying...
KYARII: Huhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhu-WHAT DID YOU SAY?!!!!
H44WP: I said you are annoying!
NAMINE: They're all kind of annoying, except for Im a bell and Badstar.
{Cut to Homestar.}
HOMESTAR: Badstraw! Bodstore! Badstros, where are you?
{cut to Badstar. An invert sneaks up behind him, grabs him, and runs away. Nobody notices this. Cut to Bellson. He is very tired.}
BELLSON: Must... defeat... rats! {Passes out from exhaustion.}
ONE OF THE RATS: ...Wow. You guys have anyidea why he was looking for Acidgrrl?
RAT: No clue.
NAMINE: Rats do have short-term memory issues.
{Cut to Kyarri and Pterrax}
H44WP: ...This is getting annoying...
PTERRAX:{simultaneously} Punchapunchapunchapunchapunchapunchapunchapunchapuncha...
KYARRI:{simultaneously} Huhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuh...
DEMON BELL:{just woke up} ...Yeah...
{Demon Bell takes out a lazer gun and zaps Pteraxx and Kyarii.They both fall unconscious.}''
H44WP: ...Thanks. What do we do with all these bodies...?
KYUBII:1-UP, how do we fix the invert ray?
1-UP: ...Give it pudding?
H44WP: Crap. They're awake.
{5 minutes later...}
KYUBII: Odd... You're plan actually worked...
1-UP: Now we have to go find Badstar. Where is he anyway?
{Cut to Badstar.}
BADSTAR: Where are you taking me?
RATSDAB (INVERTED BADSTAR): Don't worry. You're safe.
NAMINE: There's an inverted Badstar now?
BADSTAR: So, you aren't evil?
RATSDAB: Nah. Just mad.
BADSTAR: At what?
RATSDAB: A lot of things.
BADSTAR: So... could you put me down?
RATSDAB: Sure.
{Ratsdab lets of of Badstar}
BADSTAR: O-ow!
RATSDAB: Op! S-sorry...
{Cut to I Am Bell. He is almost out of strength.}
I AM BELL: Shoop... {cough} Da... {cough} Whoopppppp...
NAMINE: Using your energy on the same attack. Weird, but I guess if it doesn't get countered completely, work it.
{I Am Bell fires one last blast out of his mouth and passes out. Inverts surround him. Cut to Homestar}
HOMESTAR: Well, if I can't find StrongBadHomestar, I guess I just have to eat this sammich myself!
{Homestar opens his mouth. Right before he eats the sandwich, an invert attacks him}
HOMESTAR: Sha-whaaa???? You seem familiar...
{Pan out to reveal the invert looks like Anti-Homestar}
RATSEMOH (INVERT HOMESTAR): Hmm? Oh, right. I look just like Anti-Homestar. Look, I'm not gonna hurt you. Me and my half-brother, Ratsdab, are benevolent inverts. I'll take you to him.
NAMINE: Why did you attack him if you're a nice invert?
HOMESTAR: Okay... Let me just eat my sammich...
RATSEMOH: Wait, don't eat it. I think Badstar's with my half-bro.
{Homestar and Ratsemoh walk off. Cut to Bellson.}
BELLSON: {Wakes up in a cage.} What the...? Where am I?
{Cut to Ratsemoh, Ratsdab, Badstar and Homestar.}
BADSTAR: So Ratsdab, how are you and Ratsemoh half brothers?
RATSEMOH: Well... Aren't you two half-bros? I mean, you both have "Star" in your names! And Badstar, isn't your last name... uhh... Stronner or something?
BADSTAR: {To Homestar} You know what this means...
BOTH BADSTAR AND HOMESTAR: {While in the air.} BLOOD TEST!!!
{Cut to a laboratoyr. Badstar, Homestar, Homeschool, Ratsdab, and Ratsemoh are there}
NAMINE: I find it hilarious they have time to do a blood test.
HOMESCHOOL: The results are in. Homestar, you're pregnant.
BADSTAR: You're kidding right?
HOMESCHOOL: Yes. Yes I am.
BADSTAR: Look, we just want to know if we are half brothers or not.
HOMESCHOOL: Huh? Oh, right. You're half-brothers all right. Badstar, you're also the half brother of Strong Bad.
HOMESTAR: Wait, aren't I SB's father?
NAMINE: 100 Fanfics... why is that so familiar...?
{Short pause}
NAMINE: Oh, wait. Shwoo wrote that, didn't she?
HOMESCHOOL: Well... yeah! I guess that makes you a redneck.
BADSTAR: Ummm... where did Ratsemoh and Ratsdab go?
HOMESCHOOL: I think Ratsdab got caught in a computer and Ratsemoh is pulling him out of it.
NAMINE: How?!
{Cut to Anti-Bling}
ANTI-BLING: I wonder where Badstar is...
{Cut to Bellson in the cage. An invert comes up holding an unconcious I am bell.}
NOSLLEB (INVERT BELLSON): This yours?
NAMINE: How many inverts are there?!
BELLSON: Y-yeah... Who's that... rabid weirdo over there?
NOSLLEB: Oh, that's just Lleb Ma I. Pay no attention to him.
LLEB MA I: {Offscreen} JERK!
{NOSLLEB throws I am bell into into the cage.}
LLEB MA I: Yays! I got me a friend! {pronounces this as "Yays! I gotsa me a frayned!"}
NAMINE: I wasn't sure anyone actually cared for pronunciation. It's not even all that weird, honestly.
{I am bell wakes up.}
I AM BELL: Huh? Oh, hey. Who are you?
LLEB MA I: I'se your invert friend! {once again, friend is pronounced "frayned"}
I AM BELL: Oh. {looks at Bellson} HEY! YOU DESERTED ME!!!!
BELLSON: Well, MAYBE I WOULDN'T HAVE IF YOU TOLD ME THE TRUTH!!!!!
NAMINE: The truth about what, exactly?
I AM BELL:{blinks twice} Uhh... Umm... Breadmuffins?
{An anti-bling without horns comes in holding anti-bling. He throw him in the cage.}
GNILB (ANTI-BLING W/O HORNS): Get in there! {walks off} {grumble, grumble} ...better than me...{grumble}
{10 MINUTES LATER...}
{All the heros are in the cage. The cage is brought to H44WP and Demon Bell.}
DEMON BELL: WE DID IT! NOBODY CAN STOP US NOW!!!!! THE WORLD IS OURS!!!!!!!!!!!!
MYSTERIOUS VOICE FROM BEHIND DEMON BELL AND H44WP: Hellote.
END OF CHAPTER 9!!!!
NAMINE: One Chapter is all it takes.
