RiffText/AruseusEmails/yotw

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Tom, Lyle, Foxx, Kyubii, Pter, Roy, Roy Jr, Fang, Jess, Lucas Aura, Algernon

Places: Computer Room, TLA Living Room, Dark Room

Computer: E-Mach 1000

Date: January 1st, 2007

NAMINE: Uh, wouldn't it be 2008?

Transcript

ARUSEUS: {as rock guitars are playing, singing} It's time to get ready to go!

TOM: Ready to go!

ARUSEUS: It's time to check email again!

{Tom beats on the desk a few times}

ARUSEUS: We can go for it all!

TOM: For it all!

ARUSEUS: We know you think we're awesome! {clicks the email icon}

NAMINE: If you think you know my opinion of you, you know nothing.

Attention

Aruseus, this is urgent.

You know that the Year of the Wolf is 2008, right?
Keep Fang under restraint on December 31st.
Once midnight hits, all wolves will go on a rampage, killing
anything in their paths.
This is your warning.

Lucas Aura

ARUSEUS: Year of the Wolf? Isn't that like...Swahili or something?

NAMINE: I wish Year of the Wolf existed.

TOM: I think Lucas means Chinese New Year.

ARUSEUS: But what does China have to do with killer monkies?

TOM: Wolves.

ARUSEUS: Ok. What does China have to do with killer wolves?

TOM: I don't know. It's all babble to me.

ARUSEUS: Then we should just ignore this. DELE-

TOM: NO! What if it's true?

NAMINE: Then you'll regret deleting this episode and crafting your routine anticlimax.

ARUSEUS: Touche. Tooouuuuccchhheee.

NAMINE: Nobody stretched out the syllables of "touche" ever. There's a good reason why.

Well, I guess we should take saftey precautions.

TOM: That's exactly what I'm saying.

ARUSEUS: You think you know everything, don't you?

TOM: Don't argue.

NAMINE: {imitating Tom} Don't argue because we have a limited word count, even though most Aruseus Emails could use a little padding every once in a while!

Let's just get the restraints. I have some old belts and scotch tape in my attic.

ARUSEUS: What about Foot Disea-

TOM: DON'T MAKE AN UMCOM WIKI REFERENCE.

NAMINE: {imitating Tom} WE ALREADY MADE THE MISTAKE OF THINKING PEOPLE KNOW OR CARE ABOUT OTHER SERIES OTHER THAN THIS ONE. INSIDE JOKES TO OTHER STUFF IS UNNECESSARY.

ARUSEUS: Whatever.

{Cut to TLA Attic}

TOM: Here they are. {reaches in a box}

ARUSEUS: {thinking} Oh man...I hope it isn't gonna be like last time...I don't want to lose another friend...

{Cut to the TLA Living Room, all of my main characters are there, Fang is tied up with belts and scotch tape}

FANG: Tell me why the heck I'm tied up.

KYUBII: You are going to go crazy when midnight hits.

FANG: What? Aruseus, are you drunk again?

ARUSEUS: Blame Lucas.

FANG: Yeah, I am kinda cheesed off at Ness' replacement.

TOM: He means Lucas Aura.

PTER: Quiet! There's 10 seconds left!

{Tom has his fingers crossed}

EVERYONE: Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one...

{A fanfare is heard}

EVERYONE: HAPPY 2008!

TOM: Fang seems normal...

FANG: You guys are morons. Now untie me before-

{Lucas Aura runs in}

LUCAS: Sorry, Aruseus! Turns out there is no Year of the Wolf.

FANG: Then what year is it?

LUCAS: Rat.

NAMINE: It's funny because a little research on the Chinese New Year makes most of the episode completely pointless.

{Cut to a corner of the room, Algernon is spazzing, with several sugar packets and soy sauce bottles next to him}

ALGERNON: BloooOOoooorf! BLORF! BLEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRFFFFFF!

ROY: He isn't gonna kill us isn't he?

{Algernon bites Roy in the tail}

ROY: Well that's unpleasant.

ARUSEUS: Well, Happy New Year, everyone!

TOM: Isn't Arumail one year-old now?

ARUSEUS: Happy anniversary as well!

NAMINE: I wish the Wiki User Wiki celebrated Happy Anniversaries.

{The Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

• Click on Algernon to see an extra scene.

{Cut to a dark room, Fang is talking on a communicator}

??????????: It'll only be a few more days, Fang. Then we strike.

FANG: Got it. {puts the communicator away}

Fun Facts

• Fang's line about Ness references the fact Ness has been replaced by Lucas in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

Wait, now that's Ness is a character in Brawl, this fun fact is wrong.

• variations was written on January 1st, 2007.