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RiffText/AruseusEmails/vacation

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WAANNGG!!!!
NAMINE: Well look at that. We finally have an image!

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Fang, Drive-thru Whale

Places: Computer Room, The Field

Computer: Intell 600, NightPilot

Date: March 26th, 2007

Transcript

{Cut to the Computer Room, Aruseus is there, with a couple of packed suitcases and Fang}

ARUSEUS: So I am trusting you with my show while I'm away. Ok?

FANG: Got it. I'll use my Night Pilot.

NAMINE: Portability must be Fang's thing or something. Aren't Night Pilots equivalent to Smartphones?

ARUSEUS: Okay.

{Cut to the Field}

FANG: Alright, let's get on with the email.

subject: get in shape!

Aruseus...or Fang,
Are you lean?
You have the body buildup of a chubby gazelle!

Some modestly hot girl

{Fang pulls out his stylus}

FANG: {writing} You calling me a chubby gazelle? Alright. One, I'm a WOLF.

NAMINE: How dare you fuckin' call me a gazelle when I am a majestic alpha wolf you stupid bitch

Two, I'm not fat, I'm perfectly middlin! Watch as I get more buff and hot, and run cross-country in The Field!

{Fang starts running, and then runs smack into the Drive-thru Whale with his arms, legs, and head flying off his body, with a loud WANG sound}

FANG: {delerious} I don't know should hurt more, the separation or the smack.

NAMINE: The smack, if you were actually trying to acknowledge the laws of physics.

{Fang regroups}

FANG: What is an inconvenently placed drive-thru speaker doing here?

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: {scratchy} Would you like large drink burger combo?

FANG: Uhh...what?

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: $10.99, sever your leg please, sir.

FANG: As long as I get my meal! {pops his leg off}

{The whale bends down and tries to eat Fang's leg, which he jerks away. The whale blasts off into space, playing it's tune.}

FANG: Odd. {puts his leg back on}

NAMINE: "Hey! Where's my large drink burger combo??!"

{The Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

none

Fun Facts

  • Middlin is a reference to Thy Dungeonman 2.
NAMINE: This episode is too short. You at least could've had an entire montage of obstacles getting in Fang's way of trying to thin himself via cross country.