(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/AruseusEmails/triplemail6
Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Wolf O' Donnel, Styx Fan
Places: TLA Living Room, Computer Room,
Computer: E-Mach 1000
Date: March 28th, 2008
Transcript
{Cut to the TLA living room, Aruseus is playing Brawl}
ARUSEUS: NO MORE DAYS!
NAMINE: And then Arceus took a break because his email show isn't the most important thing in the universe.
WOLF: Dude, shouldn't you be checking email or something?
ARUSEUS: Later.
WOLF: Ugh! I guess I'll do it...
NAMINE: Beats Arceus doing it, hopefully.
{Cut to the E-Mach}
WOLF: Well, let's see what he's got to check!
{Wolf clicks the email icon}
WOLF: WOAH!
Subject: Bread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Dear Zoogy Boogy Doog-Scooby Dooby Doo,
Bread! I like Bread! Bread! Bread! Bread! Oh Em Gee! Stinkoman has been kill apotrophe d! Ex underscore Ex. Ph3ar mi 13375p33k, f00lz! Woof! HEEEEEEEEY! Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Dancing Banana! Cheese Wheel! Breadtime! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Good! I got Styx Fan off the computer. He's demented, so he can't speak right. Here's what he was trying to say:
"Dear Aruseus,
Hi! I'm Styx Fan! Bread! Bread! Bread! I'm coming to your house to challange the crap out of you! I'm coming whether you like it or not! Here are my powers! Styx Flash! Styx Fire! Styx Thunder! Bread Magnet! Styx Starstorm! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Ok! this is one of Styx Fan's friends Camo Jones. And, acording to me, he's gonna be there any second. Peace out!
-Styx Fan (translation by Camo Jones)
NAMINE: Yeah, uh, was Styx Fan a troll or something? That'd explain the utterly moronic nature of this email, if anything.
WOLF: Well, it's not as bad as the last time we got a long email...
NAMINE: Actually, it is. And a flashback sequence is utterly unwarranted, since the previous wall-of-text email wasn't even two episodes ago.
{Flashback to email 67}
ARUSEUS: {typing} What...the...crap. You are asking me too many questions, man! ONE AT A TIME! WOLF!
{Wolf runs in}
WOLF: Yeees?
ARUSEUS: Read me each thing and I'll answer it.
{Cut back to Present Day}
WOLF: Yeah. That got boring after a while.
NAMINE: That got boring after a while?
NAMINE: It wasn't even interesting to start with.
So... {typing} In response to your long email, you've got a list of powers, Sticks Man. Why don't you go join Super Star Smashers, foo?
NAMINE: You are not Mr. T, and therefore cannot make "foo" a thing because of it.
{Styx Fan appears next to Wolf}
STYX: I guess I will!
WOLF: I was just joking!
STYX: Well it wasn't funny! STYX STARSTORM!
WOLF: No, don't!
STYX: Ok. {stops}
WOLF: Now leave.
STYX: Ok. {leaves}
WOLF: So, if this is a triplemail, then I guess I'll rummage through his other emails.
NAMINE: Good, you know what to do!
subject: deutschFür Aruseus;
- Zippy das lille Platypus
Wie geht es dir? Mir geht's gut, danke! Meine Frage ist: was ist deine lieblings Farbe? Du weißt, wie grün, oder blau!
WOLF: I'll just skip this one...
NAMINE: Alternatively, you could've used Google Translator or picked a better second email for your triple email gauntlet.
Subject: Street FighterDear Aruseus,
- Tommyspud(eating pie)
What do you think Street Figther 4 is going to be like?,
Think Dan Hibiki will be a playable character?
WOLF: {typing} I have no idea, Spuddy Tom. And who the farg is Dan Hibiki? Crapfully, Wolf O' Donnel. {stops typing} And SEND.
{The email disappears and The Paper comes down}
NAMINE: The sheer tedium of that response required me to drink some tea in order to keep awake.
Fun Facts
- O