RiffText/AruseusEmails/tripleemail4

Cast (in order of appearence): Aruseus, Alpha Stan, Homestar, Mac, Homsar

Places: Computer Room, The Field

Date: June 22, 2007

Computer: A-Tech 950

Transcript

ARUSEUS: BOOM! Here comes EMAIL! Ready or not! Haha! How you check it now?

Hello Aruseus. You have 3 new emails.

ARUSEUS: So...I'm doing another freakin' triplemail.

NAMINE: Someone should really put a trigger warning on that.

Yes you are.

ARUSEUS: Whatever. Number 1. {Clicks the email icon}

Subject:Disney movie

Dear Aruseus,
I have a really good suggestion.
How about if you make the new 47th
animated classic from Walt Disney
Pictures?
Mark Black, IV

NAMINE: This had better go well.

ARUSEUS: {typing} Well, Markie and no BurnBox, hows about I don't? Disney classics are too hard to make. Besides, no one watches them now.

HOMESTAR: {offscreen} I does!

{Namine groans}
NAMINE: Why can't Homestar's grammar at least be correct? Strong Bad is literally the only one who does "I does" and the point is it's a joke based on his hypocrisy involving grammar.

ARUSEUS: Shut it! Numero dos.

Subject:previews on video

Dear Aruseus,
I know that videocassettes are no
more as of 2007, but can you do
the previews for "The Lion King?"
If you wanna, tell mjen1952 and ask
him. He's on YouTube.

No one

ARUSEUS: {typing} So...you want me to do a documentary on lions and kings? And tigers and bears, oh my? Well, FO-GET-EET. I don't wanna!

HOMESTAR: {offscreen} I might wanna!

ARUSEUS: I told you to shut up!

NAMINE: Dude. No. Just, just no.

NOXIGAR: What seems to be the trough-bull, homegill?
NAMINE: Arceus and Homestar are having vapid conversation
NOXIGAR: Arse-eeh-uhs could swim to say somefin cool. Maybe even ice cold!
NAMINE: I wish these emails had substance!

NOXIGAR: They get better. I believe in you!

HOMESTAR: {offscreen} Can you bake me a pie?

ARUSEUS: NO!

NAMINE: "The last time I baked a pie, Garzel died of food poisoning! Fuck you and your pies, Homestar!"

Third email.

subject:none

Deer Aroosee us,
I like ultimate frisbee...
Can i use that shiny thing on your back to plaY??
-Mac was here

ARUSEUS: Once again, another freakin' email with NO subject.

{Aruseus starts typing}

ARUSEUS: {typing} Well, Big Mac, My ring does have aerodynamic properties, though I has no idea what the crap it means. So...yea, I guess. But as long as I play too!

{Cut to The Field, Aruseus and Mac are playing catch with Aruseus' ring. Homsar wobbles after it, as if it was a game of Monkey in the Middle.}

MAC: Wheee!

ARUSEUS: Isn't this fun?

MAC: Yep!

HOMSAR: DaaAaaAaaAaa! Aaaah'm your piggy in the center.

NAMINE: Finally you get Homsar partially in character. Only partially, though. Homsar could stand to be a bit more riddling with his saying.

MAC: {catches the ring} Woot! {throws it to Aruseus}

ARUSEUS: {catches the ring} Yahoo! {throws it to Mac, but Homsar hits it with Squeaky, the ring falls}

HOMSAR: Pshoooooo....

{Cut back to A-Tech}

Click here to email Aruseus.

NAMINE: Why does he do these "Triple Trouble" email episodes? They're utterly pointless.

NOXIGAR: If you had an email show which was primarily held back by the emails it gets, wouldn't you try to shave a few down in one go?
NAMINE: Yeah, but I'd try to do something substantial with each.
NOXIGAR: Maybe I can get you your own email show later?

NAMINE: I'll pass.