RiffText/AruseusEmails/squids

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Alpha Stan, Homestar

Places: Zeke's House, Computer Room

Computer: A-tech 950

Date: May 11th, 2007

Transcript

{Cut to Zeke's House}

ARUSEUS: Boop boop boop boop boop boop and the email comes in the NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT- {falls off of chair}

Get up, you moron. You've got an email to check.

NAMINE: This email's not so bad, but do we really need Alpha Stan to put so many spaces after he says something? I don't see the point of it.

ARUSEUS: M-kay.

subject: squids

Dera Aruseus,
Do you enjoy playing with the squids.
Personally, I think playing with the squids
is the greatest thing in the world!
Do you any squid-playing-with-related
games and/or simultations?
Thank you,

kkk.

{Aruseus says "kkk" as kikkch}

ARUSEUS: {typing} Hmm...squid-playing-with thingies eh, Kickthecheat? Well...I don't really have an intrest in squids, but...uh...I guess I could try to make one. {clicks a Game Maker 6 icon}

{Game Maker 6 comes up on the A-tech's screen}

NAMINE: As long as Arceus knows how to use Game Maker, I won't give him any flak about it.

ARUSEUS: AHA! Game Maker 6! Ok. Here come the squids.

{Aruseus starts typing and clicking the mouse}

ARUSEUS: So you do that...and this...{mubling}

{the screen fades to black, Alpha Stan appears}

After hours of programming...

NAMINE: This necessary? At all? You could've done a montage relegated to usage of programming, or maybe sprite movements and such like in Rockman, I mean Megaman.

{The screen zooms out to the A-tech's interface}

ARUSEUS: And lo, it is done!

No time to play. You've got another email.

ARUSEUS: Why should I check it?

This is ARUSEUS emails.

NAMINE: The most apt response to Arceus' sass, actually.

ARUSEUS: Meh...

subject: HELLO!

WASSUP!
I LIKE UR COMPUTER! I THINK U
R AWESOME! UR NICE! INCLUDING
ALPHA STAN! U ROCK!
-MR.I LIKE U

{Five second pause}

ARUSEUS: I actually have fans...

Well, duh. You almost top NeoStinkoman.

ARUSEUS: Wow. You know what? I could consider my show the most emails, NeoStinkoman Emails was created by H*Bad, and he's loooong gone.

NAMINE: While your statement is true, your grammar in this sentence could use some work.

Only 4 more episodes. This is episode 33.

NAMINE: Y'know, I wish I could make a competent email show in 2013 in order to top Arceus. The milestones he has, though, are exceptionally hard to top.

ZEKE: Shouldn't you be going home?

ARUSEUS: Oh yeah! {runs out}

'{Cut to 2007 Computer Room}

ARUSEUS: Home sweet Homestar...

HOMESTAR: You called?

ARUSEUS: Shut up. I'm gonna go watch a movie. Cyrus said it was awesome.

NAMINE: From having checked the Fun Fact about it, I'm just going to be blunt. I don't like any of the Pokemon anime movies. Ash is still kind of an excessively-shilled character, and tying him to Legendary Pokemon in every movie worsens that aspect about him. The stories are utter shite, too. There is no excuse for "let's shoehorn Entei into the third film by having him kidnap the protagonist's mother despite having no genuinely valid reason to do so" among other movie premises that are just bad. I feel bad for Mewtwo most of all, but I guess I can include him in this email show to compensate.

MEWTWO: I'm not sure what gender I identify with, actually.
NAMINE: My apologies, friend.
MEWTWO: Eh, it's fine. Arceus ain't so bad. I went to some of his rave parties.
NAMINE: He does rave parties?

MEWTWO: Yes. He does them with an entry fee, though. He sometimes does them for charity, but most of the time it's just to help pay his bills. His art doesn't always sell well, as we can plainly see with this email show.

HOMESTAR: Ok, roundy-man.

Click here to email Aruseus.

Fun Facts

• I made Aruseus say "I'm going to watch a movie. Cyrus said it was awesome." because I just say Lucario and the Mystery of Mew, and it was great.

NAMINE: You say great, I say greatly annoying. Although, I only read a plot summary of Lucario and the Mystery of Mew. I did watch most, if not all, of the other ones bar the ones set in Unova. Because all of the ones I watched were terrible, I gave no hoots about Mystery of Mew.