RiffText/AruseusEmails/robbed

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Strong Bad, King of Town, Link, Bubs, Zoo977, Homsar

Places: Computer Room, Aruseus' Room, The Stick, The Castle, Hyrule, Bubs' Concession Stand

Computer: E-Mach 1000

Date: June 1st, 2008

Transcript

ARUSEUS: Email Email Email EMAIL! Ah-ah ah-ah oh-ah...do ya do ya do ya? Ah-ah ah-ah oh-ah...

NAMINE: When Strong Bad did an opening liner, it usually made sense. Here? This opening liner for Arceus Emails makes no sense at all.

{Aruseus clicks the email icon}

Subject: lost

Aruseus,

I woke up this morning, and someone had robbed me of my flute, piano, and drums. Have you ever been robbed?

Zoo977

ARUSEUS: {typing} Robbed, eh Zoo? Well, I can't think of a time I've been robbed. I dunno what to tell you. {stops} Well, that wraps it up, I guess-

{Cut to Aruseus' room, Aruseus is walking in}

ARUSEUS: -I'll go play some Guitar Hero...WAH!

NAMINE: {Arceus had the sudden realization that Guitar Hero was a horrible franchise, and sold all his Guitar Hero stuff to GameStop.}

{Zoom out, the room is empty}

ARUSEUS: What happened? Everything's gone! Wait...

{Cut back to the Computer Room, Aruseus runs in}

ARUSEUS: {typing} Yes...YES, ZOO! I've just been robbed! I have nothing now! I gotta find the swinebag who stole my stuff!

{Cut to The Stick, Aruseus runs in}

ARUSEUS: Did you steal my stuff?

STRONG BAD: No.

{Cut to The Castle, Aruseus runs in}

ARUSEUS: Did you steal my stuff?

KING OF TOWN: Not me!

NAMINE: Because just asking random people is what works.

{Cut to Hyrule, Aruseus runs in}

ARUSEUS: Did you steal my stuff?

LINK: Who the heck are you!?

{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand}

ARUSEUS: So then it was just all gone...

BUBS: Well, I got no beef on it...I have beef, {holds up a slab of beef} but no info.

NAMINE: I figured that Bubs would say something that makes sense. This doesn't make sense.

ARUSEUS: Well, now I'm never gonna get my stuff back...

VOICE 1: Now we can sell his stuff and get RICH!

ARUSEUS: Huh?

{Aruseus looks behind the concession stand to find Zoo977 with Aruseus' stuff}

ARUSEUS: YOU!

ZOO977: Umm...this ain't yours! It's...Inner Aruseus' stuff...

ARUSEUS: Inner Aruseus is dead. This is mine.

ZOO977: Ok, you caught me...but I wasn't alone. Meet my accomplice.

{Cut to Homsar lying on the ground}

HOMSAR: DaaaAaah'm the Hamburglar...

HOMSAR: Demands for a pay increase led to them dressing me up like a McDonald's costume in mockery.
NAMINE: At least it wasn't Blubbo's, compadre.

ARUSEUS: So...I'll be taking these back.

ZOO977: Ok...

ARUSEUS: That's a wrap!

{The Paper comes down}

ZOO977: {Looks at The Paper} I still ponder that...

Fun Facts

• The Hamburglar is a famous character by McDonald's. He robs burgers.