RiffText/AruseusEmails/oddities

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Pter, Foxx, Homestar, Kyubii, Fang

Places: Computer Room, Projector Room, Strong Badia

Computer: Intell 600

Date: March 24th, 2007 [edit] Transcript

ARUSEUS: Umm...Meh meh meh email! {types run_arumail.exe}

   subject: Hey you!

   Do you like pizza?
   You gotta like pizzas.

   Your dude,
   That guy from a bus and on the plane!

ARUSEUS: {typing} Yea...I like pizza. Pizza is good with a nice topping of...pepperoni...and meatball...and sausage... and DELETED!

NAMINE: That was a legitimately decent email and you just deleted it. Okay.

   DELETED!

ARUSEUS: Alright. On to the real email.

   subject: MEH.

   Aruseus?
   How do you type with boxing gloves on?

   A fan

ARUSEUS: What!? Am I getting crapmail today! DELETED!

NAMINE: Uh, is the trend copying Strong Bad's spring cleaning? Hopefully there'll be a few more emails to delete, if so. Otherwise, these scenes are just flat-out unnecessary.

   DELETED!

ARUSEUS: Ok. Let's hope for a good email this time...

   subject: weird things

   Aruseus,
   Is there anything weird or odd about
   your hometown or friends?
   Mike

ARUSEUS: {typing} Oddities, eh? Well, Mike, allow me to give you the tour. {leaves}

NAMINE: "I'm the oddity my town needs, but not the one it deserves."

{Cut to a Projector Room, a picture of Pter comes up}

ARUSEUS: Let's start with Pter. Well, first of all, and probably the only thing, he lacks the visiblity of legs. Don't know how, must be something with his DNA.

{Aruseus circles the blank space between the bottom of Pter's body and the ground with a blue marker. A picture of Foxx comes up}

ARUSEUS: Next is Foxx. He may look normal, but he is pretty odd. First of all...

NAMINE: "He's an anthropormorphic fox who is literally named "Fox" but with an additional x because it looks cool"

{Aruseus circles Foxx's torso}

ARUSEUS: His body is pretty hunched. Also, shouldn't he be all red, not red and blue? Whatever.

{A picture of Homestar comes up}

ARUSEUS: Next up is ol' McDorkle...or Homestar.

NAMINE: Compared to your original characters, how is Homestar Runner odd?

Unlike Pter, he has legs, but no arms.

{A picture of Homestar holding a spoon comes up}

ARUSEUS: See that spoon? How does he do it?

{A picture of Kyubii comes up}

ARUSEUS: Kyubii is next. He has nine tails. Nine tails. I only have one. Most tailed animal...things...should have one, three maximum.

NAMINE: "Two tails is considered a mutation amongst some mammals. Three is already too much, but people let it slide."

{A picture of Aruseus comes up}

ARUSEUS: Now a lot of people have asked what I am. People have mistaken me for a fox, horse, deer, you name it. But I am an Aruseus. Yes, an Aruseus. I'm named after my own species.

NAMINE: BECAUSE YOU ARE A POKEMON ANTHROPORMORPHIZED FOR NO DISCERNIBLE REASON

{Cut back to Intell}

ARUSEUS: {typing} But the most oddest of them all, has got to be the new guy, Fang Wolf. {leaves}

{Cut to Strong Badia, Fang is standing there}

FANG: Sup, Aruseus?

ARUSEUS: Hey. I'm showing Mike here the oddities of our homeland. Now hold still.

{Aruseus grabs Fang's right arm, and somehow, pulls it off, making a pop noise}

ARUSEUS: See? Detachable limbs. No pain, wound, just came off like a refridgerator magnet.

FANG: Pretty odd, huh, Mike? Watch this.

ARUSEUS: Yeah.

{Fang wiggles the arm that had just been pulled off of his body}

ARUSEUS: Woah.

FANG: You ain't seen nothin' yet!

{The arm hops out of Aruseus' hand and pulls off Fang's other arm, plus his legs}

FANG: And for the grand finale...

{Fang's parts reattach, and then he pulls his own head off}

FANG: Ta-dah!

ARUSEUS: Ok. That's enough.

{Cut back to Intell}

ARUSEUS: {typing} Well, what'd I tell ya? Fang's odd. Ok, The Paper, take it away!

{The Paper comes down} [edit] Easter Eggs

none [edit] Fun Facts

I'm feelin' lazy, might do them.

NAMINE: Well, finally you exposit on your original characters. Now hopefully the viewer might get more understanding of what else you do. To be level with you, the fact you mock yourself for not updating your Fun Facts pages adequately is slightly chuckle-worthy.