RiffText/AruseusEmails/nemesis

Aruseus is asked about his nemesis...if he has one, at least.

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Foxx, Pter, Bubs

Places: Computer Room, The Field, Strong Bad's Room

Computer: Intell 600

Date: March 3rd, 2007

NAMINE: "One month later..."

Transcript

ARUSEUS: La dee dee dee da! Another email! {types run_arumail.exe}

subject: nemisis

Dear Aruseus,
Do you have an arch-nemesis?

- Zippy Again

ARUSEUS: {typing} A nemisis? I never thought about that. {clears screen}

ARUSEUS: {typing} Well I don't think anyone's my nemisis, Zipmeister, but I do have some competitors. Let me check on 'em. {leaves}

{Cut to the Field, Foxx is there, kicking a hackysack, Aruseus walks in}

NAMINE: Oh, I get it! Foxx is engaging in a high school pasttime!

FOXX: 27, 28, 29, 30, 31-

ARUSEUS: HEY!

FOXX: 20X6! {drops hackysack} Thanks for breaking my combo, idiot.

ARUSEUS: You're welcome! {salutes and leaves}

FOXX: Um...kay.

NAMINE: "Uh... I have no comment on Aruseus' idiocy"

{Cut to Strong Bad's Living Room, Pter is lying on the couch, several bags of potato chips lay on the floor, Aruseus enters}

ARUSEUS: Holy carp!

PTER: What?

ARUSEUS: 5 bags? Have you checked your cholesterol?

NAMINE: Good cholesterol or bad cholesterol?

NOXIGAR: I think it's just implied to be bad cholesterol.
NAMINE: I'd rather have clarification since there are blatant differences betwixt the two!

NOXIGAR: Right... well, I still think it's just bad cholesterol being implied here. Although honestly I'd go through five whole bags of potato chips without breaking a sweat! And then I'd walk it off without breaking a sweat!

PTER: Uhh...these are fat free.

ARUSEUS: Oh. {leaves}

PTER: {rummages through bag} Dang! I'm out of potato chips!

NAMINE: "Curse you, Aruseus, for reminding me that I'm out of chips!"

{Cut to Bub's Concession Stand}

ARUSEUS: Bubs?

BUBS: Up here!

NAMINE: Wait, why is Bubs your archenemy? I don't get how he could be when he hasn't even been in these episodes for longer than a second under the usual circumstances.

ARUSEUS: Oh. {looks up, Bubs is unicycling}

BUBS: I'm gonna Unicycle down tyhe

NAMINE: the

wall of my Concession Stand! Wish me luck!

ARUSEUS: Serious risk. {walks off, Bubs puts on a crash helmet}

{Cut back to Intell}

ARUSEUS: {typing} Well, Zippy, It looks like I beat Foxx to beating my hacksack record and tried to stop Pter from beating my "Most Bag O' Chips" record. I'm not sure if 'ol Bubsy is gonna beat my "Shortest Back Recovery Time" record.

NAMINE: So instead of being an archnemesis, you like to just be a nuisance to people who would normally be your friends?

Aw well. I'm gonna go play some TLZ with Lyle. {leaves}

{The Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

• Click on "Most Bag 'O Chips" to see a record book page with Aruseus abnormaly bloated, with scattered bags of potato chips.
• Click on "Shortest Back Recovery Time" to see a record book page with Aruseus writhing in pain on the ground, as seen in worst thing.

Fun Facts

• Yet again, another instance of carp/crap.

NAMINE: Wait, no other fun facts? What the hell does TLZ stand for?