(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/AruseusEmails/movienight
NAMINE: This has got to be... the most suckiest one-liner you've ever concocted.
ast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Tom, Jess, Homestar, King of Town, Strong Bad, Fang, Kyubii, Zippy
Places: Computer Room, TLA Living Room
Computer: E-Mach 1000
Date: December 21st, 2007
NAMINE: SOON, 2008. SOON, THE BLACK CAULDRON WILL BE MINE.
Transcript
ARUSEUS: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-EIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE E-MAIL! {clicks the email icon}
subject: movie nightHey, Aruseus!
How about I come over for a movie
night? I'll bring the soda and pop-
corn!- Zippy
ARUSEUS: {typing} Zippy? THE Zippy? Yeah. I know you came back. Well, I'll have a movie night! Huzzah!
{3 hours later, Cut to TLA Living Room, Aruseus and Tom are sitting on the couch}
ARUSEUS: Where is everyone?
NAMINE: My sentiments exactly.
TOM: This has got to be...the most suckiest movie night you've thrown.
ARUSEUS: Well, you know what they say you should do if you're bored...
NAMINE: This had better not be a thinly-veiled sex joke. I don't need to witness another thing which does terrible punchlines when I've already sat through most of Ctrl Alt Del's pre-"reboot" nonsense.
TOM: I'm listening.
ARUSEUS: Coffee.
TOM: I'm out.
{Another hour later, people have arrived, and there are several coffee spills on the ground. Aruseus is holding a mug that says "I LIKE EGGS". Aruseus' eyes are wide, and he's twitching}
TOM: Now we're talkin'-
ARUSEUS: {caffinated} No, no, NO! This won't do. We have to throw out some people. Kyubii, you weren't invited.
KYUBII: You suck. {walks out}
ARUSEUS: King of Town!? How come you're here!?
KOT: I heard the words "free pizza" and was here in a jiffy!
ARUSEUS: OUT!
{KOT leaves}
KING OF TOWN: I wish I had more lines in this episode!
NAMINE: King of Town!? How come you're here!?
KING OF TOWN: Fine by me! I need to get out more anyway.
'KING OF TOWN: I heard the words "free pizza" and was here in a jiffy!
NAMINE: Sweet! However, the pizza won't be here until half an hour from now.
ARUSEUS: Who the heck are you?
JESS: Don't you know me? I'm Jess!
ARUSEUS: Who? Tell me something...about...you...
JESS: ARGH! You idiot! I'm new! I moved here about a month ago!
ARUSEUS: {to the tune of "I Hate Everything About You" by 3 Days Grace}
KING OF TOWN: Don't you know some whippersnapper who listens to Rise Against The Machine?
NAMINE: No.
KING OF TOWN: Okay, then. I seem to get that vibe from this part of the script and your nonplussed nature towards it.
I...DON'T...KNOW A THING ABOUT YOU!
JESS: {slaps Aruseus} Get out of your caffination!
NAMINE: I think my spellcheck is having a seizure. I can't tell if "caffination" is an actual word or not, to be honest.
ARUSEUS: {normal} Huh...oh. HI JESS!
{Jess grumbles}
ARUSEUS: Ok. You can say it, Tom.
TOM: Now we're talkin'! Where's the movie?
FANG: {nervous} Uh...oh! Yeah. The movie! I...
ARUSEUS: Fang...did you bring the movie?
FANG: Uh...yeah...about that...
ARUSEUS: Where's the movie!?
FANG: I...I...I ATE IT! {starts crying}
ARUSEUS: Well...uh...I guess it'll just be a TV night...
TOM: Zippy, did you bring the popcorn?
ZIPPY: Wait...I was supposed to...
ARUSEUS: Zippy...
NAMINE: See, this is why- wait why is Zippy being tasked with most of the movie night preparations?
TOM: Well...let's not hope it's Infomercial Hour...
{Tom turns on the TV, a commercial come up}
LADY: Head-on, apply directly to the forehead! Head-on, apply directly to the forehead!
ALL: {annoyed} It's Informercial Hour.
TOM: So who wants to fall asleep and drool 'till we can't spit?
ZIPPY: I do.
{They all fall asleep, as The Paper comes down}
{King of Town yawns.}
NAMINE: I know, believe me.
KING OF TOWN: Domino's?! I love Domino's!
KING OF TOWN: Want to watch some infomercials until the pizza gets here?
NAMINE: Sure. One more thing, do you like Domino's at all?
Easter Eggs
- Click on the remote to replay the commercial.
NAMINE: Head on! Apply directly to the thing that wasn't funny in pre-2008!
