RiffText/AruseusEmails/moreq

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Fiona

Places: Room 232

Computer: SkyPod

Date: February 17th, 2009

NAMINE: With only two characters, this episode can't go badly.

NAMINE: ...can it go badly?

Transcript

{Cut to Aruseus' Dorm, Aruseus and Fiona are walking in}

ARUSEUS: ...and this is my Skypod, where I do my email checkery.

FIONA: So you have your own show? Wow. How long has this gig been going on?

ARUSEUS: I'd say 2 years or so. I started in 2007...so...yeah. 2 years.

NAMINE: 2 years 2 many.

FIONA: And which episode number is this?

ARUSEUS: 108. Well, it's time to crack this one down.

{Aruseus opens up the email}

ARUSEUS: Oh {bleep bleep}.

subject: questions

Hello. I have a FEW little questions. Do you play the kazoo? Did you kill Cyrus? Has your head snapped into 50 pieces by Sylar yet? Did my dog lick you? Do you pick your nose? Have you cried? Do you watch Scrubs? Do you smell a Molotov Cocktail yet? Do you play with explosives? Have you seen a shark? Do you think on painting your house? Am I crazy? Do you go on 4chan? Have you played Habbo? Do you ever think about girls? Have you kissed? What are your dos and don'ts? What was it like in Kindergarten? Have you been sued? Have you graduated highschool? Do you like smelling? Have you licked anything? Are you single? Do you smell like pancakes? Do you have a head? Have you kissed a girl and liked it? You you wear lipstick? Do you listen to Linkin Park? What happened when you passed gas in public? When was the last time you took a shower? Goodbye. -Tommy Tom Tom Picklesonerson

{Aruseus doesn't read the email at all}

NAMINE: {In a fit of rage, Arceus takes Fiona up against a wall and they passionately kiss. After two hours, they are in the bedsheets covering themselves.}
NOXIGAR: I like your version of what happens better than what actually happens in this show.

ARUSEUS: Okay, what's with you people sending me every damn question this world has to offer?! And what's your obsession with Tom? What are you, real-life Cutgirl or something?!

NAMINE: Wait TJ or whatever knows Cutgirl-chan in real life? He's actually kind of cool!

Who sent this load of crap?

subject: questions

- SENDER: Lemon Demon43

NAMINE: Lemon Demon for best Email Sender in the entirety of Arceus Emails.

ARUSEUS: Oh. Lemon Demon. Well, I'll be at your house or whatever later to give you the poundings! But first, you have time...so I'll answer every little question you have. Okay, first off...Do I play the kazoo? No. Did I kill Cyrus? No. Has y head snapped into 50 pieces by Sylar yet? Who the hell is Sylar? Er...Fiona, you mind reading these?

FIONA: Not a problem. {takes the Skypod} "Did my dog lick you yet?"

{Namine sighs}
NAMINE: Anything to give Fiona more lines, I guess.

ARUSEUS: Unless your name was TheCheese than no.

NAMINE: Aw, look! A Doggie reference that is completely out of place, like always!
{Noxigar vomits.}

FIONA: "Do you pick your nose?"

ARUSEUS: Not anymore.

FIONA: "Have you cried? Do you watch Scrubs? Do you smell a Molotov Cocktail yet?"

ARUSEUS: Before, love the show, and no.

FIONA: "Do you play with explosives?"

ARUSEUS: {sly look on his face} Sometimes...

NAMINE: Kinky.

FIONA: Oooooookay... "Have you seen a shark? Do you think on painting your house? Am I crazy?"

ARUSEUS: Yes, not really, and you sure are crazy enough to send me so many goddamn questions. What is this, a freakin' survey or something?

FIONA: "Do you go on 4chan?"

ARUSEUS: {bleep} no.

NAMINE: That's too bad. I was kind of hoping Arceus was a 4channer. Then again, he's probably better off as a SomethingAwful forumite if he is one.

FIONA: "Have you played Habbo?"

ARUSEUS: What the hell is Habbo?

FIONA: "Do you ever think about girls? Have you kissed?"

ARUSEUS: Yes...and...uh...no. Hey, can I take it from here again?

FIONA: Fine. {returns the Skypod}

NAMINE: Why didn't she kiss him to seal the deal on that question?

ARUSEUS: Time to skip to the important ones. "Have you graduated highschool?" WELL NO {bleep}ING DUH.

FIONA: We are in college.

ARUSEUS: "Are you single?" Er...not anymore.

NAMINE: You're in a relationship; you don't have to treat the "Are you single?" question as awkward.

FIONA: Ehehe... {blush}

ARUSEUS: "Do you have a head?" Who do you think I am, Napalm Man or something? You know what, screw this, I have money.

NAMINE: OH, LOOK! AN OUT OF PLACE YU-GI-OH! THE ABRIDGED SERIES REFERENCE MADE WHEN IT WAS NO LONGER FUNNY TO DO THAT!
{Noxigar vomits.}

TRASHED!

FIONA: You just deleted the email? Talk about lazy...

NAMINE: Well-said, Fiona. You managed to take the words right out of my mouth!

ARUSEUS: Blame the writing staff!

{Noxigar vomits due to the horrible line being said, especially as Arceus had blamed the writing staff for quality he could've controlled himself with absolute ease. Namine pats Noxigar on the back.}
NAMINE: There, there. Let it all out of your system.

{The Paper}

Fun Facts

NAMINE: Alright I'm just going to clear something up. Other than Cutgirl-chan being awesome, there isn't anything else in the Fun Facts to write home about. In fact, one of these Fun Facts can cause the /w/index error to act up, so for consistency's sake I'm just going to eliminate all of them as Doggie is not nor will it ever be funny.