(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/AruseusEmails/magictricks
Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Tom, Van, Fang, Ike
NAMINE: I wish I did a counter for every new character Arceus has come across who feels more like a living prop than much else.
Places: Aruseus' Room, The Kitchen, Outside the House
Computer: SkyPod
Date: August 14th, 2008
Transcript
ARUSEUS: {singing} The city is at war, but I check my email still!
{Aruseus clicks the email icon}
subject: Aruses emailHey. I am a girl from sweden and like magic. Could you do
a magic trick? I would be so happy, and maybe visit some
day. Her are a tips to you: Take fang wolf in a box
and take a saw and saw him.
From Agnes in sweden!
ARUSEUS: {typing} So...old Swedish Fish wants me to give Fang a saw and then do magic tricks. Sweet. Well, Angus beef, I'll do just that! TO THE HARDWARE STOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
TOM: Before you make that Weird Al reference, you're an idiot.
NAMINE: Eesh, let the guy make a Weird Al reference, since Weird Al references are rarer than the steaks I eat.
ARUSEUS: I love you too!
TOM: Ooooook. Agnes here wants you to perform the classic saw-in-half trick on Fang.
ARUSEUS: Really? Now?
NAMINE: Y'know, I used to blame the email senders for sending terrible emails.
NOXIGAR: Even me?
NAMINE: Anyway, the main problem is that Arceus' impatience with answering the email leaves him little room to be competent at doing the same maneuvers Strong Bad does in his.
NAMINE: Your Professor Birch needed a lot more work back then.
NOXIGAR: Oh. Okay, then.
TOM: Well, knowing you...you need to stick with simpler tricks.
ARUSEUS: What do you mean? I'm good enough to saw Fang down the middle on my own!
TOM: Erm...You ever wonder why Foxx is an android?
ARUSEUS: No.
TOM: Exactly.
ARUSEUS: Wait...what did that have to do with this?
NAMINE: Y'know, that's a really good question. What did Foxx being an android have to do with sawing Fang down the middle?
TOM: Urgh...just...do what you want. But if Fang dies...AGAIN...you'll pay.
ARUSEUS: M'kay.
{Cut to the Kitchen, Aruseus is rummaging through various drawers while Van watches}
VAN: What are you doing?
ARUSEUS: Looking for magical things for magical trickery.
VAN: Pfft. Magic.
ARUSEUS: Oh, come on, Van. Don't get all grumpy and start ranting on how illogical it is.
VAN: Okay, fine. Nice SSBB reference by the way.
NAMINE: What SSBB reference?
ARUSEUS: Well, I got nothing. I'm off!
{Aruseus runs off and a can opener flies out of the drawer. It hits Van and lands on the ground. Van stares at it and then explodes.}
ARUSEUS: Sorry, it's right-handed.
{Cut to outside the house, Aruseus is in a top hat, and Fang is standing next to him. Aruseus hands him a saw}
ARUSEUS: Here you go.
FANG: Thanks.
TOM: You idiot. {He brings in a box and shoves Fang in it}
FANG: IT'S A TRAP!
NAMINE: I forgot how thoroughly mediocre Star Wars' dialogue was.
AAAAAAAAAHHH!
???: Gotcha!
{Ike falls from the sky and slices the box in two}
ARUSEUS: Thanks, Ike!
IKE: I always fight for my friends.
NAMINE: Yeah, that came out of nowhere and wasn't needed at all.
{The Paper}
Fun Facts
You find them.
NAMINE: If I cared, I'd point them all out since the emails made by this show are so short that there aren't enough Fun Facts for which to provide pages for.
