RiffText/AruseusEmails/gender

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Tom, Lucas, Austin, Eva, Cody, Jay, Random Blonde (Jeremy)

NAMINE: An episode called "gender swap" better be really impressive.

Places: Hallway, Room 232

Computer: SkyPod

Date: January 30th, 2009

Transcript

{Cut to the Hallways of Monstropolis University}

ARUSEUS: Wow...so nice to be back.

TOM: So...what was it like?

ARUSEUS: Huh?

TOM: While...you were dead.

NAMINE: Was the question still there or did you taper off into a tangent again?

ARUSEUS: Well, I found myself in a waiting room, like one at a doctor's office. Several other people sat there, and I waited. My name was called into something like the dean's office, and there was-

NAMINE: This'd be neat to show instead of tell

LUCAS: Glad to have you back, Aruseus!

{The two high five}

TOM: So...you were saying...

ARUSEUS: I...wow. I forgot.

TOM: Urgh...

{The two walk up to Austin and Eva, who are talking}

AUSTIN: ...and I really think we should.

NAMINE: Should what?

EVA: Well, I'd love to.

AUSTIN: Oh...hey guys.

TOM: Hey, Austin! You don't seem all angry. Something up? Did you get wasted and or stoned at Jeremy's dorm party last night? Man I knew he was a druggie...

AUSTIN: No. No. No. Listen...I know I'm never shy like this...but...

ARUSEUS: Yeeeees?

AUSTIN: Eva and I...we're thinking about going out.

NAMINE: I'm happy for Austin. Hopefully a character outside of Arceus can get some development.

TOM: {thrilled} Austin my man, you have done it! I saw this coming! You two are like the perfect match for each other!

EVA: ...really?

TOM: Sure! He beats people up for fun, and you are all tough and stuff! Both of you are like bread and butter, bacon and eggs, Brad and Janet...

NAMINE: Did Lex write that last part or what?

ARUSEUS: Woah, buddy! Enough!

AUSTIN: Thanks guys...I've never felt this happy before.

TOM: Austin...happy? Man that's weird.

NAMINE: Not really considering that Austin hasn't even been introduced in about four or five actual episodes to really be given any establishing character moments. At the least, we also don't see Austin getting enough screentime to compensate for his brisk appearances and the told characteristics.

{Aruseus chuckles}

TOM: Shouldn't you be checking email now?

ARUSEUS: Yeah...I'll take it from here, you stay with Austin.

TOM: Fine by me.

{Cut to another hallway, Aruseus is walking to his dorm}

CODY: Hey, Aruseus!

ARUSEUS: Cody! What's up?

CODY: Nothing. So what are you doing now?

ARUSEUS: I'm going to get my SkyPod so I can check email.

JAY: Aruseus, my man!

ARUSEUS: Jay! Nice to see you!

JAY: You wanna go with me and Cyrus for shakes later?

ARUSEUS: Sure! I've just got to give the viewers what they want.

NAMINE: Yes FINALLY How long has it been since an email has been checked?

{Cut to Aruseus' dorm. Aruseus picks up the Skypod to check an email.}

subject: Switch

Dear Aruseus-san, What would you do if you suddenly turned into a girl? And how would you spend your day if you and one of your friends somehow switched bodies? From, CGC

ARUSEUS: {typing} Well, Counting Green Cars, if I were a girl, I'd be the dumb blondish type probably...

{Some random blonde male is seen outside the doorway}

STUDENT: Hey!

ARUSEUS: Sorry, Jeremy! Anyways...yeah. Goofy girl, rather than goofy guy. Nothing else to really say. About the whole body switch...

{Cut to Aruseus in his dorm, typing schoolwork on a laptop. All of a sudden, Tom runs in, in his boxers, holding a beer}

TOM: {drunk, Aruseus' voice} Hey, To...I mean...Aruseus! You're missing out on the greatest party!

ARUSEUS: {Tom's voice} Urgh...I'm trying to do some work. Now put some clothes on...

{Cut back}

ARUSEUS: And I'd just pretty much ruin Tom's present day life right then and there.

NAMINE: How? You'd jump Tom's bones and give his love life even more unneeded stress than actually warranted?

Well, I'm still getting used to being back, so how bout them shakes?

{Jay and Cody smile and nod. The three walk off and The Paper comes down.}

NAMINE: Short. And disappointing. Suddenly I'm not surprised at all about the quality of this episode. A guy like Ryan Bluefox who's really awesome and yet writes stuff like this, which could obviously be better. His other works aren't nearly as terrible as this; even his writing of Total Drama Wiki is surprisingly passable. This is why I riff Arceus Emails - I know the guy has a lot of potential that is just constantly unused or underused. And it's really sad 'cause his other stuff is really interesting to watch and then this shows up.