RiffText/AruseusEmails/cereal

Aruseus makes a cereal by using one of his friends.

NAMINE: That's... a weird way to sustain yourself, I guess. Turning one of your friends into a cereal to eat must be weird.

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Tom, Homeschool, Lyle, Mitch, Commecrial Aruseus, Foxx

Places: Computer Room, TLA Kitchen, Lyle's Room, TLA Living Room, TV Commecrial, The Field {easter egg}

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Febuary 3rd, 2007

Transcript

ARUSEUS: {while typing "run_arumail.exe"}: Oh oh, oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh, E-mail never ends.

subject: cereal?

Sup, Aruman?
I was thinking... you need a break-
fast cereal. Like, badly.

-Uhh... not Zippy. Yeah.

NAMINE: It's not Zippy? That's a relief.

{Aruseus says breakfast as "break fast"}

ARUSEUS: Breakfast cereal? I don't know what I'd call it! I guess I should start making it. {leaves}

{Cut to the TLA Kitchen, Aruseus is stirring something. Tom walk in}

ARUSEUS: Hey, Tom! I'm making cereal!

NAMINE: "And you're the main recipe!"

TOM: Aw, great. Don't blow up our house like you did with Homeschool Winner's. He's living with us for now, and He's making good friends with Lyle.

'{Cut to Lyle's Bedroom, Homeschool and Lyle are playing chess}

NAMINE: "Pawns don't do that, chumpstick!"

HOMESCHOOL: Your move.

{Lyle moves a piece, Homeschool takes his piece}

HOMESCHOOL: Checkmate.

LYLE: {Angry The Cheat noises}

NAMINE: Uh oh, looks like a chess piece is going to get flushed down a toilet soon!

{Cut back to the TLA Kitchen}

ARUSEUS: I see. Now go away! It's a surprise!

TOM: M'kay.

Three minutes later...

{Cut to Lappy}

ARUSEUS: So there you have it, Notzipperedpants.

NAMINE: So Sweat Pants? Cool.

My commercial starts in 2 minutes! Gotta run {leaves}

{Cut to TLA Living Room, Mitch and Aruseus are sitting on the sofa

NAMINE: You missed a bracket.

ARUSEUS: Here it comes!

MITCH: Aw, great.

{A commercial starts, much like the Meet Marshie toon, A mugshot of Aruseus appears}

COMMERCIAL ARUSEUS: Tired of stupid breakfast cereals? No more Temporarios for you?

{An orange box of cereal appears and it says "Bluecubes", with a picture of a spoon with blue-cubes in it}

COMMERCIAL ARUSEUS: Try new Bluecubes! They are very chewy and delicious! Try 'em today!

{Commercial ends}

MITCH: That sucked.

{Foxx enters, he only has one leg}

FOXX: Hey, Mitch. You wanna know what Bluecubes are made from?

NAMINE: SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE

ARUSEUS: Oh, carp. Gotta run. {runs out}

{Cut back to Lappy}

ARUSEUS: {typing quickly, as if in a rush} Ok, Whatsherface. I made a cereal. Bye!

{Fox runs in}

FOXX: Come back here! I'll-

{The camera zooms out to show Tom chewing on Foxx's other leg}

FOXX: DO you MIND!?

TOM: Sorry!

NAMINE: What the-

{Foxx is stuggling, trying to get his other leg out of Tom's clutches, the leg pops off of Foxx's body, and Tom eats it}

FOXX: CRAP! {Tom throws him}

{The Paper comes down}

NAMINE: Aww, no chess pieces flushed down a toilet?

Easter Eggs

• Click on Foxx's leg to see a scene.

{Cut to the Field, Foxx, with no back legs is scraping with his hands}

FOXX: {panting} I'll...hurt you...bad...Aru...seus...

NAMINE: So Tom eating your legs is Aruseus' fault. Hm, right, uh... I'm actually kind of scared right now.

• Click on "Notzipperedpants" to see a pair of jeans with its fly open
• Wait 5 seconds at the end of the email to hear a secret line.

TOM: Oooh....meaty...

NAMINE: ...

Fun Facts

• This is another instance of Aruseus saying carp instead of crap.

NAMINE: You could mention that plot twist which came out of nowhere. You could mention the whole deal with your Soylent Green allegory. You could've mentioned hordes of fun facts at your disposal just from this short email!