(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/AruseusEmails/catchphrase
Aruseus thinks of a catchphrase. ZIPPYMAIL CROSSOVER!
NAMINE: To whoever made Zippymail, whatever it is: I am going to hunt you down. I will draw the blueprints to your demise, and-
NOXIGAR: Hey, uh, whoever made Zippymail tried to riff this earlier and failed miserably. We're picking up the pieces since they failed to meet their own riff quota.
NAMINE: Oh, okay. Well, I won't hunt you down then, whoever made Zippymail.
NAMINE: Aww, I wanted to obfuscate a legitimate threat!
NOXIGAR: Sorry, but I actually know who made Zippy Emails. It's the only other person outside of JCM who I trust to riff competently with enough consistency to make his riffs not just "funny once in a blue moon." If this guy did MFT3K purely by himself, it'd not be riffed by me.
Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Vector Strong Bad {easter egg} Tom, Coach Z, Zippy, Homestar {easter egg}
Places: Computer Room, The Field, Zippy's Bedroom
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: January 28th, 2007
Transcript
ARUSEUS: {while typing "run_arumail.exe", to the tune pf the Homestar Runner theme song}: Aaaaaaaa-ruuuuu-seee-us.
subject: phraseAruses,
- Zi- I mean Mitch
You need a catchphrase.
ARUSEUS: Aw great. An email that will make my head explode...from thinking too much. {clears screen}
ARUSEUS: {typing} Well, Zimitichi, I have no idea what my catchphrase would be. I think I'll have to ask some people. {leaves}
{Cut to the field, Tom is there with Coach Z}
TOM: So I was telling him about how wrong it is to auction my Shploitz and-
{Namine gags.}
{Aruseus walks in}
ARUSEUS: Hey guys. Do any of you two know of something I could use as a catchphrase?
TOM: No, not really.
ARUSEUS: Carp. I mean crap! What about you, Coach?
NAMINE: That, uh, qualifies as a phrase.
COACH Z: Sorry, man! I'm drawering a blornk!
ARUSEUS: Double carp.
NAMINE: KARP KARP MAGIKARP
{Aruseus walks off, Cut back to Lappy.}
ARUSEUS: Guh-blargh. I talked to everyone and no good ideas. Wait. there is another...
TOM: Aruseus, I'm going to the li-berry to pick up a book for Lyle. I think Zippy's there.
ARUSEUS: Thats it! {runs out}
{Cut to Zippy's Bedroom}
ZIPPY: What does my name mean? Come on... speak to me... wait, I know! ... Wait, no.
NAMINE: I don't think your name has any meaning, honestly.
{Aruseus walks in.}
ARUSEUS: Hi, Zippy!
ZIPPY: Why are you in my house?
ARUSEUS: Don't ask.
NAMINE: Literally the creepiest answer ever. Will it lead to NachoMan writing smut about the two characters? Hopefully, because when he did it in his riff take of Aruseus Emails it was the only funny thing on there.
Well, now that the greeting's out of the way... can you do my taxes?
ZIPPY: No.
ARUSEUS: Fine. Can you do my homework, then?
ZIPPY: You have homework?
{Suddenly, Zippy notices a L.U.R.N. shirt on Aruseus.}
ZIPPY: Oh.
NAMINE: "I'm sorry, if this triggers you any, Aruseus."
ARUSEUS: Can you believe it?
ZIPPY: Surprisingly, yes. Now, why are you really here?
ARUSEUS: I just got a really stupid email about my catchphrase. Can you give me any ideas?
ZIPPY: ... How about, "wiggy jiggy?"
ARUSEUS: Nah.
NAMINE: Good call.
ZIPPY: I see. Listen, I too got a stupid email about my name. What would you do in this situation?
ARUSEUS: Now, usually I'd toss macademia nuts at that creepy green bird that keeps hanging around your house, but in this situation... well, I'd still toss nuts at that bird.
NAMINE: I NEED CONTEXT
ZIPPY: That green bird is Kooky.
ARUSEUS: Oh, no wonder it kept yelling at me. Did- did you notice we're completely straying from the topic at hand?
NAMINE: Strong Bad does it all the time in his emails. Other email shows make it a point to elongate or exaggerate favorable topics, but cause other topics to just bugger off.
ZIPPY: Yes. Yes I did. Frankly, I think every Zippy Email should be like this. In fact, why not change the name of the show to "Zippy and Aruseus's Funtime Jamboree?"
NAMINE: That'd actually improve the series some. Too bad this doesn't happen, though.
ARUSEUS: Because that name sucks and I hate it.
ZIPPY: Ah. Now, shouldn't we be ending the email already? The email that's a sorry excuse of an email?
ARUSEUS: Sure.
{The Paper comes down.}
ARUSEUS: Hey! The e-mail is not over yet!
ZIPPY: Um...That's the end of MY email.
ARUSEUS: Oh. {Aruseus all of a sudden has a shocked look on his face} Zippy?
ZIPPY: What?
ARUSEUS: I think I just pulled a crossover.
ZIPPY: Riiiiight...
NAMINE: "Because my contractual obligations had "crossover" written all over them!"
ARUSEUS: {scared} AHH!
ZIPPY: Calm down, man.
ARUSEUS: Okay. Well, I better go finish my email. {Runs out}
ZIPPY: Whatever.
{Cut back to Lappy}
ARUSEUS: {typing} So sorry, Mitchy. I don't have a catchphrase. So bye.
{The Paper comes down}
NAMINE: Well there goes potential gone horribly to waste.
Easter Eggs
- Wait about five seconds for an extra scene.
{Zoom out, Aruseus is still in a L.U.R.N. shirt, Tom walks in}'
TOM: Why are you wearing that?
ARUSEUS: Dunno. One second I was shirtless and ran past this white pole and I had this shirt on.
NAMINE: Did it have anything to do with that hospital?
- Click on Tom after the easter egg to see another scene.
{Cut to The Field, Homestar is standing there, angry and naked}
HOMESTAR: Okay, who stole my L.U.R.N. shirt?
NAMINE: AT LEAST I GET CONTEXT ON THE EASTER EGGS
- Click on Aruseus when he says carp to make a carp appear onscreen.
- Click on Aruseus when he says double carp to make two carps apear.
- Clicking on Aruseus when he says, "An email that will make my head explode" will make VectorBad appear on his Lappy with, "ITS ASPLODE." under him.
- Click on Aruseus after the email to see the logo for Zippy and Aruseus' Funtime Jamboree.
ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} Zippy and Aruseus' Funtime Jamboree! Now weekdays at 3:00 on 4Wimps!
NAMINE: Too bad 4Wimps is bankrupt by now!
CHILDREN: {singing voiceover} Zippy and Aruseus' Funtime Jamboree!
ARUSEUS: {voiceover, musically} Because the name sucks and I hate it!
NAMINE: Except I thought you and Zippy mutually agreed on it?
Fun Facts
- The transcript from Zippy's bedroom and the first paper coming down is from Zippy Email name
- Tom mentioning his Shploitz game being auctioned is a reference to Foxx's Answering Machine.
NAMINE: NEITHER OF THESE LINKS ARE AVAILABLE
- This is another 4Wimps reference.
NAMINE: Hrm, didn't know you had any other "4Wimps References" before this email.
