RiffText/AruseusEmails/airman

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Wolf, Airman

Places: The Beach, Airman's Stage

Computer: SkyPod

Date: August 8th, 2008

Transcript

ARUSEUS: {singing} I can't defeat Aruseus, every time I try to dodge his awesomeness he always gets me again!

NAMINE: That's an unhealthy and alarming symptom of egomania.

{Aruseus clicks the email icon}

subject: <insert subject>

<insert greeting>

<insert positive comment about you>
<insert a question about yourself here>?
<insert comment of re-assurance>

<insert poorly witty ending>,
<insert a name easily made fun of>

ARUSEUS: {typing} Well now, Lazy-face, seems you forgot to write this email. I'll write it for you. Let's see...

subject: Airman

Dear Awesome,

You are awesome, but can you beat Airman? Every time I try to dodge his tornadoes he always kills me.

Crapfully yours,
Cheesemeister

NAMINE: Note-to-self: Do not let Arceus write emails for me.

ARUSEUS: Ok, now let's read it. Ahem. Dear Awesome, well thanks! You are awesome, already knew that, but can you beat Airman? Every time I try to dodge his tornadoes he always kills me. Overused salutations, Cheesemeister. That's better. Wolf?

WOLF: Yeah?

ARUSEUS: Get the Wolfen ready. We've got an Airman to pwn.

NAMINE: Ugh, the Airman myth. Bubbleman and Woodman were both significantly harder bosses, while every other stage is harder than Airman's. Even when comparing Airman to Metalman, Airman is easier.
NAMINE: In short, this email sucks because it propagates a dumb myth that is untrue and stupid.

WOLF: Gotcha. Sure we won't need a Leaf Shield?

NAMINE: You don't even need Leaf Shield, but Leaf Shield makes Airman easier than he already is. Congratulations, I brought context to this stupid question.

ARUSEUS: Nah, we'll be fine.

{Cut to Airman's stage, the Wolfen lands}

ARUSEUS: Here we are. Erm...how do we move on?

WOLF: Hm...

{Wolf walks to the edge and a giant face platform appears}

WOLF: There.

{Wolf and Aruseus jump on. Little flying faces come out the side and attack them.}

ARUSEUS: GAH! {hits them, blowing them up}

WOLF: Let's go.

{They move on, cut to them on another platform, Wolf is shaking off tiny birds}

WOLF: GETTHEMOFFGETTHEMOFFGETTHEMOFFGETTHEMOFFGETTHEMOFF.

NAMINE: They had these in Woodman's stage, too.

{Cut to another area, Aruseus hops on a cloud, Wolf tries to jump on, but falls}

WOLF: AAAAAAHHHH!

{Megaman death sound}

NAMINE: Making precise jumps is even harder if you try to do Heatman's stage without Item 2.

{Cut to another area, Wolf is getting blown away by a fat guy with a fan on his chest}

WOLF: EEP. I'M GOING TO FALL, GODDAMMIT.

{Cut to the boss door, Wolf is banged up, Aruseus is perfectly fine}

ARUSEUS: Man, you suck.

NAMINE: I agree.

WOLF: Shut up.

{They enter, Airman is standing at the edge of the room}

AIRMAN: I WILL FIGHT YOU!

ARUSEUS: IT'S ON!

WOLF: I'm hungry.

{Two health bars appear at the top right. One is blue and yellow, one is white and yellow}

ARUSEUS: Since Ryan Bluefox is too lazy to show the battle, we have cut it out of the email.

NAMINE: I think Ryan Bluefox should try to surpass his laziness and show the battle. Even if it comes off as a meaningless wall of text to someone else, I'd at least enjoy the attention to detail and amount of effort put into it.

Let's see the results.

{A Megaman 2 style explosion is seen with the fitting sound, Aruseus jumps in, now white and blue}

ARUSEUS: I GOT THE ITEM-2 AND THE AIR SHOOTER!

WOLF: I GOT MY LEG CHOPPED OFF BY AIRMAN'S FAN!

NAMINE: How the hell did he manage that?

{The Paper}

Easter Eggs

• Click on Aruseus to make him cycle through the MM2 weapon colors. It goes in this order.

• Air: Blue and White
• Normal: Yellow and White
• Wood: Green and White
• Flash: Purple and White
• Quick: Pink and Lilac
• Heat: Red and Yellow
• Bubble: Grey and White
• Metal: Brown and Copper
• Item-1 2 or 3: Red and White

And it repeats.

NAMINE: Eh, this Easter Egg was indisputably the best part about the whole email.