RiffText/AruseusEmails/B4YS

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Tom, Evil Fang, Good Fang, Normal Fang

Places: Unknown Place, Computer Room, Realm of the Dead, The Field

Computer: E-Mach 1000

Date: June 10th, 2008

Transcript

{Cut to a dark unknown place}

????: My life...my soul...my friends...all gone. I...feel...strange...I...feel...good...I...thirst...for the soul...of...I...see...these images...I...wait...what's happening...? I...AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGHHH!!!!

NAMINE: The plot must be this predictable to pass. And it passes the standards Arceus Emails strives to meet.
NAMINE: Honestly, why can't Fang just stay dead? No other character outside of Arceus holds any value on the story of the email show. The only reason Arceus holds any value on the email show story is because someone has to check those emails and it obviously isn't going to be Strong Bad.

{Cut to the E-Mach}

ARUSEUS: {singing} So far awaaaaaaaay, we wait for the day...for the hard drive gets wasted for so long...maybe a virus, spam mail, or other worthless crap, through the fire and the flames we check email!

NAMINE: Right, Dragonforce happened in 2008. Oh bugger.

{Aruseus clicks the email icon}

Subject: none

Aruseus.
I need you.
I'm nothing without you down here.

ARUSEUS: Erm...I have no clue who you are and why you need me...are you some kind of stalker? Jeez, I hate those people.

{A groan is heard}

{Namine groans in unison with the other groan, mainly at how unfunny Arceus' statement is.}

ARUSEUS: Oh snap. Is it the zombie uprising already?

{Tom walks in}

TOM: Aruseus? I think the toaster's-

{Tom pauses and his eyes turn red}

ARUSEUS: Tom, you okay?

TOM: {in a deeper voice} You are the one I need...I have suffered damnation...

NAMINE: Please stop using Tom as a living prop, Fang.

ARUSEUS: Uh, why do you sound like...Oh no...it's you!

TOM: {jumps Aruseus} RAH!

ARUSEUS: ARGH!

{Screen fades black. Cut to an unknown place full of dark caves and cliffs. There's also some fire.}

ARUSEUS: Ugh...where am I?

????: Welcome, Aruseus.

ARUSEUS: Who are you? I can't see you.

????: Then maybe this will give you an idea.

{The mysterious person hands Aruseus an arm, not one of a human, but of some sort of animal. It has a strange barb on it}

????: It's mine.

ARUSEUS: It can't be...you are...

{Aruseus looks up to see Fang standing before him, but this is no ordinary Fang, instead he is slightly more red and with more spikes}

FANG?: It's been a while.

ARUSEUS: FANG!?

NAMINE: Why are you surprised? A phantasm longing to see you possesses one of your living prop friends and proceeds to cause the otherwise-nonexistent conflict to happen.

FANG?: Yes, it's me.

ARUSEUS: What are we doing here?

FANG?: This is the World of the Dead, for lack of a better title. You, Aruseus, are not dead. I've taken you here.

ARUSEUS: But...why?

FANG?: I died for a good cause, but I was cursed by Damocles to be sent here.

NAMINE: Damocles was a stereotypical omnicidal maniac. How is that a good cause?

I then came to the surface as a spirit to send my message through someone, so I used ALXX as a pawn. You, however, were too arrogant and ignorant to notice it was me.

ARUSEUS: But...why?

FANG?: Because you're an idiot.

NAMINE: That makes two of you.

ARUSEUS: {pause} But...why?

FANG?: Enough! This ends now. You shall die, and then I will use your body as a host to wreak havoc above the surface!

e>NAMINE: Honestly, you could've just done damage with Tom to weaken Arceus, then switched bodies once the latter died.

????: Guess again.

{Another Fang comes in, this time more of a white color and an 03 style halo}

SECOND FANG: I am the good side of Fang. The one that stands before me, Aruseus, is the evil side.

NAMINE: So... is there a side to this episode that isn't predictable, trite, or cliche?

EVIL FANG: Argh...you again.

GOOD FANG: There is nothing you can do, evil one. If you wish to escape, unite with me.

EVIL FANG: Never!

GOOD FANG: Then you must be punished for your wrongdoing.

{Aruseus slams the two together and they become a bright light}

ARUSEUS: Skidoosh.

{A voice comes from the bright light}

????: Aruseus. Come.

ARUSEUS: Ok.

{Aruseus walks into the light and wakes up in The Field. The first thing he sees is Fang. The real Fang.}

FANG: You awake?

ARUSEUS: Fang! You're back!

FANG: Yes. And I'm glad to be back.

ARUSEUS: So...you still the same? Not too evil or too good?

FANG: Yep, 'cept I can do this now.

{Fang possesses Aruseus}

FANG: {from Aruseus} Yep. Seems I have some kind of ghostly power now.

ARUSEUS: {normal voice} I guess so!

{The Paper}

NAMINE: So... that was anticlimactic, and defeated the entire purpose of Season 2 except give Fang more gimmicks that get ignored later on. Welp, I shouldn't expect anything productive out of Season 3's ending.