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Fake Character Email Funstar Player/inventions

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Summary

Funstar shows Zorax some of his "inventions".

Cast (in order of appearance): Funstar Player, Homestar Runner, Homeschool Winner, Strong Bad(Easter egg)

Places: Funstar Player's Computer Room, The Classroom, The Field

Date: April 27, 2008

Transcript

FUNSTAR: Who knows about a nose? Not me. But I have email!

FUNSTAR: Hey, are you related to Zoo977? Because both of you didn't bother to put "subject:" in the subject bar. But, that aside, yes, I invented something. Funball. If you were thinking of something like technology and machines, well, I'll get back to you on that.

{Funstar gets out his chair. Cut to The Classroom. Funstar walks in.}

FUNSTAR: Now, I just need to find an invention in here and I'll send the photo to Zorax.

HOMESTAR: {offscreen} Can I help?

{Pans right to reveal Homestar.}

FUNSTAR: No, no, no, no, and no.

HOMESTAR: Is that a yes?

FUNSTAR: GET OUT OF HERE!

HOMESTAR: Why?

FUNSTAR: Because, you always mess things up. Don't you remember what happened last time I let you help me?

{Cut to Funstar's backyard.}

FUNSTAR: OK, Homestar, we will need to cook for the New Year's party. You set up the grill, and I will put in the food when I come back.

HOMESTAR: You got it!

FUNSTAR: OK, then. I'll be back in 5 minutes.

{Fade to a screen saying "5 minutes later". Fade back to the backyard, this time with grill parts everywhere and a big part of the backyard being charred and smoking, including Homestar. Funstar walks in.}

FUNSTAR: AAH! What the heck happened?!

HOMESTAR: Oh, you see, it all started when a fly came.

{Fade to a screen that says "3 minutes ago". Fade back to the backyard. Homestar has a spatula in his hand. A fly comes in.}

HOMESTAR: Hey, you, go bother someone else.

FLY: {arguing buzzing noises}

HOMESTAR: Well, don't bother me now. We have an important party coming up.

FLY: {questioning buzzing noises}

HOMESTAR: That's none of your beeswax. Or flieswax, in your case. Now, shoo. {swats at the fly with his spatula}

{The fly goes into the grill and makes a raspberry buzzing sound inside.}

HOMESTAR: Oh, you want to play games? Well, let's see if you'll be laughing at MAXIMUM HEAT! {turns a knob}

{Suddenly, it zooms out and then a gigantic explosion is seen.}

{Cut back to the present backyard.}

FUNSTAR: You blew up my backyard to get a FLY?!

HOMESTAR: Yep, and I succeeded.

FUNSTAR: Grrr...

{Cut back to the classroom.}

HOMESTAR: I know I messed up. That's why I want to help you find that technology, because I want to prove that I've changed.

FUNSTAR: Homestar, you wouldn't change if your life depended on it. What are you doing here, anyway.

HOMESTAR: I'm trying to find a gift for my friend, Homeschool, who is visiting this weekend.

FUNSTAR: Homeschool, you mean that genius that used to live here?

HOMESTAR: Yep, ever since he moved to another country for a job, he's started to miss us. And he's going on vacation this weekend, so he's decided to take it by coming to Free Country.

FUNSTAR: That's great! I'll just need to get him to make an invention for me, and Zorax will be stunned!

HOMESTAR: Why would you care if Zorax will be stunned?

{We zoom in to a close up of Funstar. The background fades away to a flag with a computer on it, waving in the wind. Music begins to play.}

FUNSTAR: It is every emailer's duty to make an oath. An oath that is to answer every email they get, no matter how stupid, or near-impossible.

{Cut back to the classroom as the music screeches to an end. Zoom back out.}

FUNSTAR: And inventions could get me some fame and fortune.

HOMESTAR: Oh. I like fame and fortune.

FUNSTAR: Yep, me too. Now, we just have to wait. Wait for the weekend.

{Fade to a screen that says "One rest of the week later". Fade to the Field. A car drives in. The door opens, and a skinny Homestar-like leg comes out.}

{Cut to Funstar Player's Computer Room.}

FUNSTAR: OK, Zorax, I'm almost finished with my invention. I'll just attach the picture when I'm done.

{Homestar walks in.}

HOMESTAR: He's here.

FUNSTAR: OK, then! Now to find him and get one of his inventions!

{Suddenly, a hooded figure walks in.}

FUNSTAR: {screams} Who are you?!

HOODED FIGURE: That doesn't matter. I'm here to tell you about a guy. Homeschool Winner. And your plan to try and take advantage of his return. I'm a friend of that guy.

FUNSTAR: {scared} Oh, dear.

HOMESTAR: Hi, Homeschool.

FUNSTAR: What?!
HOODED FIGURE: {simultaneously} What?

{The Hooded figure pulls down his hood to reveal that he is indeed, Homeschool.}

FUNSTAR: Homeschool? What were you doing in that get-up?

HOMESCHOOL: I was trying to scare you into not trying to steal one of my inventions.

FUNSTAR: Well, I was just going to ask you to make me an invention.

HOMESCHOOL: Oh. Well, no, then! My inventions are precious to me. And I will not make you one so that you will show it to a kid from the future and claim it as yours!

FUNSTAR: Dang, how'd you know all that? I didn't even know Zorax was a kid from the future.

HOMESCHOOL: I know everything. Actually, it's because I traveled the world and I overheard you talking to Zorax on the computer. Unfortunately, Homestar must've saw me go into the cloak. He is known for eavesdropping unseen.

HOMESTAR: {proudly} It's true.

HOMESCHOOL: But, it doesn't matter anymore. You already said you won't steal from me, so there's no chance of you getting any inventions from me.

HOMESTAR: Hey, Homeschool, how's your wife, Champeen?

HOMESCHOOL: {turns his attention away from Funstar} She's fine. Why ask?

HOMESTAR: {looking away from Homeschool} I just wanted to know. Hey, did you know that Trivia Time turned into a cookie jar.

HOMESCHOOL: How?

HOMESTAR: No one knows.

{Pan right to the window. Funstar has a camera in his hand and walks out of view.}

HOMESCHOOL: {offscreen} Hey, what are you looking at?

{Pan back to Homestar and Homeschool.}

HOMESTAR: {looking at Homeschool again} Oh, nothing, nothing.

HOMESCOOL: Good. {turns again} Now, like I was saying, I-Hey, where'd Funstar go?

HOMESTAR: I don't know. All I do know is that he's not going to your car to find an invention and take a picture of it.

HOMESCOOL: What?! Oh, no! {runs out}

{Cut to the Field. Funstar is shuffling in the trunk. Homeschool walks into view.}

HOMESCOOL: Ha! I've got you now!

FUNSTAR: {nervous} Homeschool, what a lovely surprise. It's not what it looks like.

HOMESCOOL: Oh, so your not going through my trunk to find an invention to use for evil purposes?

FUNSTAR: OK, so it is what it looks like. I'm sorry, but I must have that picture.

HOMESCOOL: All this for a picture?! I could call the cops for going through my property!

FUNSTAR: Well, in that case...

{Funstar takes a picture of Homeschool, and as Homeschool rubs his eyes, Funstar jumps over him with the camera and an invention in his hand. He then runs off.}

HOMESCOOL: Great, he escaped. If I only took karate classes, he'd be sorry!

{Cut to the computer room. Funstar goes into his chair with a picture in his hand. He scans it.}

FUNSTAR: Well, here you go, No wax, my invention! {attaches the picture} Tell all your friends, and an adult or two, And while your at it, tell the mayor of your city. But, whatever you do, don't tell Homeschool!

 
> Click here to e-mail Funstar Player
funplay12@jcmail.com

Easter Eggs

  • Click on "no wax" to see a candle that has the words "Beeswax, flieswax, or no wax" written on it.
  • Click on "Homeschool" to see a scene with him and Strong Bad.
{Strong Bad in walking in the Field when he sees Homeschool's car.}
STRONG BAD: Whoa! That's a sweet ride! I can't wait to tell The Cheat!
{The window rolls down to reveal Homeschool inside.}
HOMESCHOOL: You like it?
STRONG BAD: Hey, I remember you! I used to beat you up all the time!
HOMESCHOOL: {sarcastic} Yeah. The best 20 years of my life.
STRONG BAD: Anyway, this thing belongs to you?
HOMESCHOOL: Yep. I got it Cheap as Free!
STRONG BAD: {smiling} Hmm.
{Fade to a screen that says "Not a long time later". Fade back to The Field. This time Homeschool is on the ground and the car is gone.}
HOMESCHOOL: First one of my inventions get stolen, then my car gets stolen. I don't know why I wanted to come here in the first place. Maybe because of the marshmallows they have here. That stuff is good. Even though the mascot creeps me out...

Fun Facts

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