(even if you aren't vegan)
Difference between revisions of "RiffText/RTOD/Bling Emails/Visiting"
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Latest revision as of 18:55, 10 August 2016
Im a bell's cousin visits.
LIGHTNING GUY: I expect him to be just as fine a young man as Bell himself.
Summary
Cast (in order of their appearance): Im a bell, strong Bad, Strong Sad, Homestar Runner, The Cheat, Bellson, 9 (actually Im a bell), Vegerot, Bling
Places: Im a bell's computer room
Transcript
IM A BELL: It's my tenthannual emailiganza!
LIGHTNING GUY: More like emailigayza.NOXIGAR: I think "gay" jokes stopped being funny right around the time RiffText was made, actually.
So, listen to this awexome rock intro!! Ready?
STRONG BAD, STRONG SAD, & HOMESTAR: Ready!
THE CHEAT:{simultaneously} Mehreh!
{the cheat starts playing drums. Strong Bad starts playing keyswordtar. Strong Sad starts playing bass}
LIGHTNING GUY: But I thought his bass was his stomach.
IM A BELL & HOMESTAR:{singing, to the toon
LIGHTNING GUY: You really need to leave your computer more.
of "Iron Man"} Eeeemail! E-email! Typin' Typin' Typin' Typin' Random Things! Eeee-mail! E-email! Gonna turn your lights out with a Discount Brick!
{everyone stops playing}
HOMESTAR: That was
LIGHTNING GUY: Terrible.
awesome!!!
THE CHEAT: Meh!
LIGHTNING GUY: Translated: I've heard road kill with better rhythm!
STRONG BAD: So... When do we get our money?
LIGHTNING GUY: When he gives it to you.
IM A BELL: Soon.
VisitingDear cousin,
Guess what?
I'm coming to visit for a few months!
Sincereley,
Cousin Bellson.
IM A BELL:{typing} Bellson?!!! Oh god. Please don't come here!
{A Bell with arms, legs, a face, and a Coach Z hat (Bellson)
LIGHTNING GUY: Why would he have Coach Z's hat? Is this Bellson guy a criminal or something?NOXIGAR: Even though I read Bell Quest about twenty-someodd times, I can't remember Bellson either.
breaks through Im a bell's head}
BELLSON: Hellooooooooo,
LIGHTNING GUY: Jerry.
cousin!
IM A BELL: God no. {annoyed/tired} Hello,
LIGHTNING GUY: Newman.
Bellson. Alright, let's get this over with.
BELLSON: Yatta!!! So... Um... Whatdoyouwannado? Whatdoyouwannado? Whatdoyouwannado?
IM A BELL: I want to kill myself.
LIGHTNING GUY: We're finally on the same page.NOXIGAR: >implying John's ever attempted suicide or legitimately thought about it
BELLSON: Okay... I'LL DO IT FOR YA!!!!!
LIGHTNING GUY: Me next! Me next!
IM A BELL: No! NO! Wait! WAIT!!!
{Bellson pulls out a shotgun}
BELLSON: Say hello to my little friend!
LIGHTNING GUY: Oh. Screw that, then.
{Bellson fires the shotgun}
IM A BELL: Grrr...
{Im a bell becomes a Soul Reaper}
LIGHTNING GUY: A what?
BELLSON: AWESOME!!!!!
IM A BELL: ULTIMATE DESTRUCTION JIBNEY
LIGHTNING GUY: UNORIGINAL
DEATH! HOLLOW DISINTEGRATION!!!!!!
{Im a bell slices Bellson into pieces, reforms him as a hollow, and then proceeds to destroy him. Bellson regenerates}
LIGHTNING GUY: {sighs} They always do.NOXIGAR: It's too bad I couldn't get into Bleach, or maybe I'd know more.
BELLSON: Nice move, cuz! Now it's my turn! SELF-DESTRUCTION DEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{Bellson explodes, taking Im a bell, and the house along with it. When the smoke clears, Bellson is still in one piece}
LIGHTNING GUY: This is just freaking messed up.
BELLSON: So cuz, what do you think of THAT?
{an Im a bell (Soul Reaper) shaped shadow (9) appears}
9: You wanna know what I think? I think you're about to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ano Yo Kyoki! Bankai x1000000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LIGHTNING GUY: :INOXIGAR: :|
NAMINE: :/
{9's sword dissapears.
LIGHTNING GUY: DissNOXIGAR: The Bird of Dis Shit is Wack.is weird.
NAMINE: Mind explaining that one to me?
Bellson disintegrates}
9: That's it! I'm taking a vacation! Vegerot!
LIGHTNING GUY: What does the scouter say about the {stops himself, twitching} Oh...god...it's getting to me.
VEGEROT: Yeah?
9: Give me ten trillion yen,
LIGHTNING GUY: The only currency we accept.
and rebuild the house!
VEGEROT: Fine. {gets out wallet} Why yen?
9: I'm gonna go live in Japan for a while. Bling!
BLING: Yeah? What?
LIGHTNING GUY: Where are these people coming from?
9: You can take over Bellmail while I'm away.
BLING: Hooway!!!!
{9 transforms back into Im a bell}
IM A BELL: Sayonara. {dissapears}
LIGHTNING GUY: Diss is still weird.
VEGEROT: ...Wow.
BLING: Yays! I get to take ovew Bewwmaiw!
LIGHTNING GUY: Congratulations, kid. Now get my smokes.
VEGEROT: Just one thing...
BLING: Huh? What?
VEGEROT: Don't use the lisp in the email show, okay?
LIGHTNING GUY: Why would he want to use the lisp ever?
BLING: Fine.
{the paper comes down. 15 seconds later, Strong Bad walks in}
STRONG BAD: Does this mean he's not gonna pay us?
LIGHTNING GUY: Oh, now I remember! This was on the Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki!NOXIGAR: So were a lot of awful fanstuff that either didn't make it on the Cancelled-Anyway-Gravy-Train, or on the Wiki User Wiki. Stop assuming that this didn't get migrated early into its writing.
