Conshow/62

Summary

Conchris tries to get back into the swing of things by inventing. Jake is not happy about this.

CAST: Conchris, Jake Goodwin, Katie Goldilin, Aria, Mr. Person

Transcript

{Fade into Jake's House - The Hallway, Conchris and Jake are discussing about the implications that the show's reboot could bring}

JAKE: You know, for once, I feel optimistic about all this. I miss all the shenani... shena... shanoligans we get up to, even if they result in painful deaths.

CONCHRIS: Yeah, I do too. {points to behind Jake} By the way, there's an angry bear behind you, I think he wants rent money.

JAKE: Wh-huh?!

{Jake suddenly looks behind him to find that nothing is here}

JAKE: {calms} Oh, there's no bear behind m- {gets mauled by a bear}

{Intro sequence}

{Cut to the Living Room, where Katie is watching TV. Jake stomps in, bloodied, battered and bruised}

KATIE: {glances at Jake in concern} Oh god! Are you okay?

JAKE: {sarcastic tone} Oh, I'm fine, just a few broken bones with a concussion, plus I'm bleeding everywhere. Perfectly fine!

KATIE: {looks skeptical} Uh. Huh. We need to get you checked anyw...

{A blinding flash of light can be seen for a brief moment. When it subsides, Conchris can be seen standing behind the couch, surprising both Katie and Jake, who no longer has any wounds}

CONCHRIS: Ah perfect! The sitcom reactor slash regenerator combo is now working at peak efficency!

KATIE: What?!

JAKE: Oh lovely, so that bear that mauled me in the cold opening was just a test?!

CONCHRIS: Yes.

{Beat}

JAKE: {grabs Conchris by the neck} YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME! I NEARLY died!

CONCHRIS: {looking calm} Okay, I'm sorry that I should've told you sooner. Now if you'll excuse me...

{Conchris suddenly slides out of Jake's grasp, and slinks over the couch accompanied by a slide-whistle sound effect. The pair remaining looks stunned for a moment until Katie decides to speak}

KATIE: ...I... I need something to drink.

{Katie stands and walks off-screen. Cut to the kitchen, Aria is sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and staring at a newspaper. Katie enters the kitchen, walking past her to the sink, she reaches over for the tap}

ARIA: {without looking up from her newspaper} I wouldn't do that if I were you.

KATIE: {stops in her tracks} Huh? Why?

ARIA: Conches has made a few modifications to the sink... I'm not even sure what he did to it, but I'd assume it was for comedic purposes.

KATIE: Oh come on, {reaches for the tap again} Conchy can't be that cru- {liquid fire pours out of the sink} WHAT THE-?!

ARIA: Warned y- {glances over to the sink} Oh my... he replaced the water with liquid FIRE?!

KATIE: {stares at the liquid fire for a bit before glancing up to the ceiling} Then that means...

{A loud scream can be heard from upstairs accompanied by shower noises. This goes on for a few seconds as Katie and Aria begin to look more and more concerned for whoever was affected, which turns out to be Mr. Person, who walks in wearing a towel, and looking very, very charred}

MR PERSON: Who turned on the tap? I was having a nice hot shower!

KATIE: Yeah, a shower of FIRE!

MR PERSON: {blinks} Oh... so that's why I was feeling a burning sensation...

TO BE FINISHED