(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/Wikihood1/Ep 1
Contents
Synopsis
This is the first episode. OOC= Out of Character
Transcript
{cut to a wide view of The Field. Homestar walks onscreen}
HOMESTAR: Hello. I am Ho-
{Pan over to an island in the middle of the screen with a moderately sized neighbourhood.}
HOMESTAR: {offscreen} Hey!
{Cut to a house - lounge.}
COUNT X: What the crap? Why am I here? {speaking poeticly} Tis thou to be stucketh here forever?
{Aussie Evil walks from a room.}
{Pieinbubsface jumps in and knocks Aussie Evil into space}
PIEINBUBSFACE Aahahahah!!!!!
THE 386: Oh, man! This is gonna be painful...
NACHOMAN: {Offscreen} Donut worry!
{Enters stage left.}
NACHOMAN: I will bring clasic humor that everyone can enjoy! {trips over something.} My spine! {starts foaming at the mouth.} My SSSSPPPPPIIIIINNNNEEEEE!! {Quickly gets up.} I'm okay.
THE 386: It's do not worry. Why'd you foam at the mouth? Why am I here?
COUNT X: What'd he trip over?
NACHOMAN: {Gets in front of The 386} All these questions can be answered with....cheese! {Holds up a block of cheese!} Order, this yesterday!
THE 386: Hey, where's Aussie Evil?
NACHOMAN: {burps}
THE 386: Bleah! Please don't elaborate on that! But... {feels strange} Oh, man! I gotta go!
{he pukes offscreen, then returns}
THE 386: I think I puked on Homsar. I feel better now. {feels strange} Oh, crap! {runs offscreen}
PIEINBUBSFACE Hey Count X, are you a homeschool fan because if you are Nacomans cheese will eat you.
{Smiles evil like, we see that he has pointy fangs.}
{The 386 suddenly pukes, the cheese has a scared look}
{the puke flies onto the cheese}
THE 386: You may answer the question. Phew, I feel better now!
BUBSTY: Poor, poor, Homsar. The 386 is EVIL!!! {Lightning crackles}
THE 386: LIAR! I'M NOT EVIL! Man, you people are pieces of crap.
COUNT X: Shut... UP!!!
{The force of the yell knocks everyone out of the house.}
COUNT X: Good, I can rest.
{Count X falls over, then snoring is heard}
{The 386 slams the door open in anger}
THE 386: Why'd you freakin' do that?
COUNT X: Because you think this is a freakin party, and I-
BUBSTY: Because... your... mom! Oh yeah! BURN! +15 skill points!
THE 386: Calm down, man. Where's Aussie Evil?
COUNT X: Look above in the transcript- erm, I mean, PieinBubsFace pushed him into space.
THE 386: Yeah, well, he's coming down now.
PIEINBUBSFACE Ahhhhh why do people capitalize my name? Everybody knows that only the P is capitalized becase everybody knows that coolness over phicologicl warfare equals P. And has anybody noticed that I only knocked Aussie Evil three feet? Into the space poster over there.
{Camra pans to show space poster with Aussie Evil stuck in it, then pans back}
THE 386: YOU PUSHED HIM INTO THE SPACE POSTER?
PIEINBUBSFACE Yes where else, this medium sized island dosent have a space.
THE 386: WHAT THE CRAP ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?! Sorry if I yelled.
BUBSTY: Can someone just kill me? I don't wanna be near you guys.
TECHNO: Okay. {picks up an axe from the side of the screen and axes him, speaks gibberish as if he's drunk and starts getting woosy} Why is lou sou cwazee? Dis is duh fewst daaaaaaaaaaaa! {falls asleep}
THE 386: Techno, what did you do that for?! Wake up right now.
ERIC: {Offscreen} Eeew. Who puked on Homsar? {Walks from other room} What are you all doing in my house? Get out... Oh, wait, this isn't my house. Where i am?
THE CODE: {Walks in from the same door} Mehmeh meh meh!
ERIC: Yeah, you're right.
THE 386: Weclome to Wikihood!
ERIC: Yeah yeah, whatever. Do you guys have a computer here or something else?
THE CODE: Meh! {Gets his 486 NEC Laptop from his backpack}
ERIC: Sorry The Code, I need a computer that can {Words appear above him while he speaks} read e-mails. {The words disappear in a light green cloud}
THE 386: Hey, PieinBubsFace, what compy do you got for him?
BUBSTY: Watch out 386, Pieinbubsface is gonna kill you 'cause you capitalized all that. It's like... his biggest pet peeve. {Realizes that an axe is in his head} Oh cool! I'm dead! D34d!
THE 386: AUGH! What compy do you got? Well, try this on for size... {brandishes his energy sword}
ERIC: Whatever. {Plays games in his cellphone}
{The 386's phone rings}
THE 386: Hello?
ERIC: Nope, it's not me. I'm just playing games.
{Axel Foley theme song starts to play}
ERIC: What the... {Answers to the phone} Yeah? Yeah, it's me. I dont know. Nope. Ok, just a second. {Hands cellhpone to The Code} It's for you.
THE CODE: Meh? {Gets cellhpone} Meheh? Mehmeh mehmehmeh meh. Meh. Meh! Mehnemeh meh.
ERIC: You just called me a what?
THE CODE: Mehmeh. {Hangs up and gives cellphone back to Eric} Mehmeh meh meh mehmeh.
ERIC: Ok, just give him your cellphone number next time.
PIEINBUBSFACE So, who was I sopossted to kill? If I don't get an answer I'll have to take you all to the Interigation room.
THE 386: {still talking on his cell phone} WHAT? Oh, man!
ERIC: Yay I'm on the last level! I'm gonna kill the boss and-- {Cellphone rings Axel Foley theme again} Oh crap! I almost won. {Answers to phone} Hullo? Yes. YOU JUST DID WHAT TO MY COMPUTER? {Caller hangs up} Mental note: Kill Bob when get back home.
{The 386 hangs up}
THE 386: Bad news, guys. Homsar is headed this way to set me straight! Get out!
THE CHEAT: Mehmeh meh MEH! {Gnaws The 386's face off}
THE 386: GET OFFA MY FACE!
{he tosses The Cheat off}
THE 386: WAS IT FROM THAT EMAIL I SENT YOU?!
THE CHEAT: MEH!
THE CODE: Mehmeh meh mehmeh meh!
THE CHEAT: Mehmeh meh meh.
THE CODE: {To Eric} Mehmeh meh.
ERIC: He said that The Cheat is just plain crazy. Strong Bad must have done someting to him.
THE 386: WHAT?
{his cellphone rings}
THE 386: Yes?
ERIC: Uh... Please just put your face back. {Gets The 386's face from The Cheat's mouth and gives to The 386} Here.
THE 386: Hang on. {not to phone} Kay.
{he puts his mask back on}
THE 386: {to phone} What do you want?
{cuts to house of the Brothers Strong}
STRONG BAD: How did The Cheat end up with you?
THE 386: {over Pom Pom's cellphone} Dunno. He got crazy over the email I sent him, and he just came here.
{cuts back to WikiHood. a shadow of Homsar is seen}
THE 386: Listen, I'll have to call you back. I've got another call coming in.
{Axel Foley theme is heard}
THE 386: I think Homsar's calling me. On my cellphone. Someone else is calling Eric.
ERIC: The what now? {Looks to cellhpone} Oh. {Answers} Hullo?
UNKNOWN CALLER: {On Eric's cellphone} Good day sir, do you want to buy our new--
ERIC: {Hangs up} No.
{The 386 answers a new call. Homsar holds up his phone.}
THE 386: WHAT?
HOMSAR: {over The 386's cellphone} DaAaAa! You owe me a jengajam!
THE 386: No! I reject your freakin' demand! {he hangs up. Homsar walks off.}
THE CODE: Meh! {Produces a jengajam from nowhere and throws it to Homsar}
HOMSAR: DaAaAaAaAaAaAa! {Gets hit by the flying jengajam and faints}
ERIC: Three points!
THE 386: {to The Code} Noice throw! That midget is down... for now. {to Eric} What does The Code look like?
ERIC: What do you mean? {OOC: Look in my userpage.}
THE 386: He's red? Woah.
{a ringing sound and the Axel Foley theme are both heard}
THE 386: {answering his cellphone} Hello?
ERIC: {Sighs, then answers cellphone} Yes?
{NachoMan appears out of nowhere.}
NACHOMAN: Sorry. I was being possesed by a demon, but no I'm back to normal! {creppy voice} OR AM I?!
ERIC: GAAH! {Accidentally drops cellhpone, which breaks in the floor} Holy crap! What am I going to do now?
THE 386: Hold on. {not to cellphone} The Code, what happened to Eric's cellphone? {to cell phone} Sounds good. I'll leave the key by the elephant feet.
THE CODE: Mehmeh meh meh mehmehmeh meh {Points to electronic thingies scattered around the floor}
ERIC: {Getting the pieces} I think that this piece comes here, this here and this one might be here... But where am I going to put the screen then?
NACHOMAN: No phone! Bad! AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!1111oneoneone
{NachoMan double dueces the phones remains.}
NACHOMAN: Don't worry! I destroyed the phone!
THE 386: Okay, bye! {hangs up} WHAT THE CRAP?
ERIC: MY CELLPHONE!!! MY HANDS!!! {OOC: If you destroyed the phone remains that was on my hands, so you just destroyied my hands. Have a gud day.}
THE 386: NachoMan, do you have any idea what you done?!
ERIC: {Running around} MY HAAAAAAANNDDDSS!!! IT BUUURRRNNNSSS!!!!! {Dies}
{The 386 shoots a dart onto NachoMan to tranqualize him for the series}
THE 386: That's what you get for destroying the phone remains.
NACHOMAN: Meh. My suit gives me the power to come back to life and re-grow body parts.
STRONG BAD: What are you doing here? Who are you?
THE 386: STRONG BAD! You're here! NachoMan, you lie.
ERIC: {Dead on the floor. He eventually smokes}
NACHOMAN: It's true! You saw it on the news! Watch! {slices off his arm and it grows back. Continues doing this for the rest of the scene.}
{The 386 feels strange}
THE 386: Oh, crap! {runs offscreen}
ERIC: {Is really dead}
THE CODE: MEH MEH! {Gnaws NachoMan's face off}
{The Cheat joins in}
PIEINBUBSFACE {appers from no were even though he never went anywere.} Check this out. {Holds up some tech} It's a Bub's to english translater. Now we can all know what bubs is saying:p
{Bubs comes in}
THE 386: Lookie here! A test!
THE CODE: Can somebody help Eric? And yes, I speak english.
ERIC: {Drools}
THE CODE: Aw, nuts.
THE 386: Crap! Something is wrong.
THE CODE: So?
{his cellphone rings}
THE 386: Hang on. {answering his phone} Yes?
UNKNOWN CALLER: What are you calling me for?
THE 386: Alfonzo? Is Eskimo Bob at your area?
BACKGROUND ON CELLPHONE: Rehh!
ALFONZO: Sorry, I can't talk with you, 386.
{The 386 hangs up and makes a call, using the dial tone from the Riot}
POM POM: {bubbling over cellphone}
THE 386: Don't talk to me like that!
{Eric suddenly hops back to life}
ERIC: I'm alive! Hooray! {Gets cellphone from pocket (the same one that has broken) and starts playing games}
{The 386 hangs up, but his cellphone rings}
THE 386: {answering} WHAT?
{Ghostbusters theme song is heard}
ERIC: I got it. {Answers} Hullo?
POM POM: {on both phones, making bubbling noises}
ERIC: Oh, okay. Thanks! {Hangs up}
THE 386: Kay. {hangs up} Says that Markie may be here. {close-up on eyes} NEXT EPISODE!
ERIC: Whatever.
{Welcome To My Life is heard}
ERIC: {Answering to phone} Hullo?
STRONG BAD: Holy crap, wrong number! {hangs up}
ERIC: Mmmkay... {Puts cellphone back in his pocket} So?
THE 386: Alright The Code, and Eric, we shall use our skills to get out of here. Or not.
ERIC: Yeah, whatever. Give us a computer, some time and sandwichs and we can even go to the moon.
THE CODE: We can?
ERIC: {To The Code} Shhhh.
{we see The 386's spaceshipper in the next room, marking the final part of the episode}
THE 386: All right guys, any final words before we launch?
THE CHEAT: Meh.
THE CODE: Jibney.
ERIC: Jlammy.
{the spaceshipper raises to peek out of the silo. the entrance hatch opens}
THE 386: Let's go!
{everyone goes inside}
{Pan over to Bub's Concession Stand. Count X is right infront of the camera, then everybody else appears.}
COUNT X: Thanks a lot. This breaks a rule. Heres a running gag.
{Count X waves his hands, and everyone's heads explode, except for Count X.}
COUNT X: Much bett-
{Count X's head blows off, and the current Bonus Stage Credits play, with characters from Wikihood replacing the BS characters.}
{10 seconds after the end of the credits, Keen enters onscreen}
KEEN: I am Keen, Eyebrow Raiser.
ERIC: {Offscreen} WAAAAAAAH!! {Falls on Keen from a very high height} OOF!
KEEN: You owe me 2 bucks.
ERIC: Aw, nuts.
Talk
COme on, guys, be serious, not anything stupid. That's you Pieinbubsface
COme on, guys, be serious, not anything stupid. Stop abriviation and capitalizing my name Pieinbubsface 03:34, 8 February 2006 (UTC)
Is this gonna be made real? The 386
No. Count X
Pieinbubsface, use a : after your name please.
