RiffText/AruseusEmails/fangmail

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Fang, Homestar, Teen Fang

Places: Computer Room, Random Therapy Office, Floating Isle

Computer: E-Mach 1000

Date: June 21st, 2008

Transcript

ARUSEUS: Well, It's great to have you back on the show, Fang. You made everything funnier.

NAMINE: A damnable lie if ever I heard one.

FANG: Thanks.

ARUSEUS: Hey, why don't I let you check an email?

FANG: Great! I'll grab my NightPilot!

ARUSEUS: About that...after your death...I sold it.

FANG: WUT?!

NAMINE: Misspelling "what" stopped being funny after 2010, thankfully.

ARUSEUS: I'll let you use the E-Mach! DON'T KILL ME!

FANG: Ok.

NAMINE: That's such a nonchalant reaction to the selling of Fang's NightPilot, even if it's technologically superior to anything Arceus has or will ever have.

{Fang clicks the email icon}

Subject: how?

Fang,
How do you do...the...thing?
Curious in Canada

NAMINE: These emails keep getting worse and worse by the episode chronology. I only hope that this wasn't intentionally directed at Fang for this episode.

FANG: {typing} Hm...what do you mean by the thing? Oh. You mean this? {Fang takes his arm off} This?

ARUSEUS: I think that's it. C'mon, explain it!

FANG: It's kind of tough...but ok. I will.

{Cut to Fang in a therapy chair}

NAMINE: EVEN MORE POINTLESS EXPOSITION
NAMINE: Look, if you're going to try to give a character depth through them telling the story, at least have the story be meaningful.

FANG: It happened long ago, when I used to live at the homeland of my people, the Floating Isle. I was nothing more than a teenager at the time.

{Cut to a view of Homestar in a yellow cap}

HOMESTAR: Go on.

{Cut to a view of Teenage Fang and several other Fang-like people standing among the isle}

FANG: {voiceover} I had been...average...until and accident happened, where I fell into a...erm...woodchipper.

{Teen Fang falls off of a cliff into a woodchipper}

NAMINE: Woodchipper? Why would they have a woodchipper on the Floating Ise?

ARUSEUS: Ouch...

HOMESTAR: Go on.

FANG: The people had no choice but to repair me, but better. They had given me robotic implants that would keep me alive even if I had become dismembered again.

HOMESTAR: Go on.

NAMINE: I don't get why Homestar would be interested in this story at all, considering it's going to turn out boring.

FANG: And I'm now capable of what I do now.

HOMESTAR: Go on.

FANG: Homestar, that's it.

HOMESTAR: Well then, what the heck? {holds up a money bag and throws it at Fang, knocking him over}

ARUSEUS: Go to Youtube to find out that reference!

NAMINE: No, because I don't want to know why throwing a money bag at Fang was even remotely close to funny.
NAMINE: Also, forcing people to look up stuff in order to get jokes kind of ruins them.

{The Paper}

Fun Facts

• Go to Dan's Youtube page to find out the reference to the whole Homestar part.