RiffText/AruseusEmails/horrormovies

Cast (in order of appearence): Aruseus, Alpha Stan, Zippy, Strong Bad, The Cheat, The Polka-man, Cyrus, Ghost of the Intell 600, Strong Sad

Places: Computer Room, Zippy's House

Date: June 22, 2007

Computer: A-Tech 950

Transcript

ARUSEUS: EMAIL'D! HAHA!

Hello Aruseus. You have 1 new email.

ARUSEUS: Let's open it. {Clicks the email icon}

NAMINE: I wish Alpha Stan died.

subject:none

Dear Aruseus,
For a long time, I've been wondering....
Do you watch any horror movies? Like the Freddy Kruger kind?
-Santa the Turkey Rabbit

NAMINE: "Naw mang, I'm not a rabbit. I'm a bunny

ARUSEUS: {typing} Woah, woah, woah. No subject? Dude, the subject should be horror movies! That's what the email is all about!

NAMINE: Horror movies are literally all terrible.

{Aruseus clears the screen}

ARUSEUS: {typing} Secondish, a turkey rabbit? Named SANTA? Eyugh...that's gonna give me the jibblies. That's gotta be like...I can't think about it.

NAMINE: Dreamworks Animated made a mediocre film about a bunch of holidays crossing over, which is apparently based off a book. Ingrain that this came before by at least half a decade.

{Aruseus winces a little, then clears the screen}

ARUSEUS: {typing} And thirdly, I has no freakin' idea who this Freddy Cooper

NAMINE: Your ignorance astonishes me.

guy you are talking about. But yes, I've watched some horror movies.

{Flashback to Zippymail: scary movies}

MAN ON TV: I think that truck is alive... {engine roars} It's trying to kill me!

ARUSEUS: Woah, haha! Woah! It almost got him there! Man, Zippy, you know how to throw a Movie Night!

NAMINE: "Man, Zippy, you do know how to turn me on with these movies!"

ZIPPY: Thanks! Now, pass the popcorn!

{Aruseus passes Zippy the popcorn, and Strong Bad takes a sip of his cola.}

NAMINE: Because shoehorning Homestar Runner characters for no good reason was hip and happenin' back then

MAN ON TV: That's the same truck that tried to kill my dad... {engine roars} AAH!

{Cut back to A-Tech}

ARUSEUS: {typing} But those were the Intell's first days. Man that computer sucked. Well, Dinkum, I will say that my life has been filled with many horrific things. Like that one time...

{Flashback to Arumail: worst thing}

POLKA-MAN: Yello there! I'd love to dance for you!

ARUSEUS: AAAAHH!!!! MY WORST NIGHTMARE HAS HAPPENED!

NAMINE: I still don't get how the hell this is considered funny. I thought Polka-Man buggered off long ago.

ARUSEUS: {voiceover} And then...

{Flashback to Arumail: death}

CYRUS: You hog too much attention. Tom will take over.

ARUSEUS: Cyrus, please! Don't kill me!

NOXIGAR: I could really go for some Arceus/Zippy slash fiction.

{Namine blinks}

NAMINE: what

{Cut back to A-Tech}

ARUSEUS: {typing} But those days were long gone. So as I said, see ya next week and the Intell sucks-

{A Ghost version of the Intell 600 floats near Aruseus, displaying an orange pixelated skull}

ARUSEUS: WAH! MY COMPY HAS COME BACK FROM THE DEAD!

NAMINE: Couldn't resist ripping off Strong Bad some more, huh?

Hold on.

{Alpha Stan zaps the ghost, causing it to fade}

ARUSEUS: How the crap?

Never mind. Click here to...you get the point.

STRONG SAD: Finally!

NAMINE: This could stand to be longer.

Fun Facts

NOXIGAR: {singing} I got a fun fact, nyeh. I got a fun fact, wheh. I got a fun fact, it's a fun fact, it involves reading my edit summaries.
NAMINE: {looks annoyed} Cyrus was only there for less than five seconds.

NONE