(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/AruseusEmails/vacation
Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Fang, Drive-thru Whale
Places: Computer Room, The Field
Computer: Intell 600, NightPilot
Date: March 26th, 2007
Transcript
{Cut to the Computer Room, Aruseus is there, with a couple of packed suitcases and Fang}
ARUSEUS: So I am trusting you with my show while I'm away. Ok?
FANG: Got it. I'll use my Night Pilot.
NAMINE: Portability must be Fang's thing or something. Aren't Night Pilots equivalent to Smartphones?
ARUSEUS: Okay.
{Cut to the Field}
FANG: Alright, let's get on with the email.
subject: get in shape!Aruseus...or Fang,
Some modestly hot girl
Are you lean?
You have the body buildup of a chubby gazelle!
{Fang pulls out his stylus}
FANG: {writing} You calling me a chubby gazelle? Alright. One, I'm a WOLF.
NAMINE: How dare you fuckin' call me a gazelle when I am a majestic alpha wolf you stupid bitch
Two, I'm not fat, I'm perfectly middlin! Watch as I get more buff and hot, and run cross-country in The Field!
{Fang starts running, and then runs smack into the Drive-thru Whale with his arms, legs, and head flying off his body, with a loud WANG sound}
FANG: {delerious} I don't know should hurt more, the separation or the smack.
NAMINE: The smack, if you were actually trying to acknowledge the laws of physics.
{Fang regroups}
FANG: What is an inconvenently placed drive-thru speaker doing here?
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: {scratchy} Would you like large drink burger combo?
FANG: Uhh...what?
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: $10.99, sever your leg please, sir.
FANG: As long as I get my meal! {pops his leg off}
{The whale bends down and tries to eat Fang's leg, which he jerks away. The whale blasts off into space, playing it's tune.}
FANG: Odd. {puts his leg back on}
NAMINE: "Hey! Where's my large drink burger combo??!"
{The Paper comes down}
Easter Eggs
none
Fun Facts
- Middlin is a reference to Thy Dungeonman 2.
NAMINE: This episode is too short. You at least could've had an entire montage of obstacles getting in Fang's way of trying to thin himself via cross country.
