RiffText/MFT3K/X Is The New Y/1

About

The four meet each other.

SKUB: There is a conflict and resolution.
BLUEBRY: there is a climax around the end somewhere

CAST: Strong bad, The cheat, Homestar, Yvonne, Marissa
LOCATION: The hammock, the field(cage trap),

CHWOKA: CAGE MATCH

NOXIGAR: I don't foresee any WWE references. But that's just me.

The KOT's castle, The cheats grill

Transcript

{the screen shows a hammock hung between two trees. Strong bad is relaxing in the hammock, wearing sunglasses. the cheat is curled up next to the tree. both look relaxed.}

SKUB: Why do people get on Bluebry's butt for not capitalizing when there's this mess?

NOXIGAR: If one is to expect better of Bluebry...

STRONG BAD: This is the life, eh, The cheat?

SKUB: Cheat
CHWOKA: No, it's not. This is the death.

NOXIGAR: {singing} IS THIS THE REAL LIFE? IS THIS JUST FANTASY? CAUGHT IN A LANDSLIDE, NO ESCAPE FROM REALITY. OPEN YOUR EYES, LOOK UP TO THE SKIES AND SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

THE CHEAT: {hapy

SKUB: Forgot a p there buddy
NACHOMAN: That's about six errors since the start of the transcript. I'm liking this already!

the cheat noises}

NACHOMAN: 7, 8...

NOXIGAR: You've never counted grammar errors in a single page before.
NOXIGAR: And I'm sure as hell not going to for any fanstuff I riff.

STRONG BAD: First, we got our new computer, than

BLUEBRY: 'then

our tiger trap worked-

BLUEBRY: of course. every household needs a working tiger trap

THE CHEAT: {confused the cheat noises}

NOXIGAR: Funny, why isn't NachoMachoMan counting this as a grammar error when he added "the cheat noises" as two grammar mistakes not too long ago?

{zoom in on strong bads face}

SKUB: the tension is immense

STRONG BAD: {faces the cheat, takes off his sunglasses}

BLUEBRY: this got gritty fast

NOXIGAR: Probably.

No, I mean the giant cage in the field. You even made me buy the cage!

CHWOKA: DON'T BACK OUT OF THIS, JIMMY!

THE CHEAT: {angered the cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Well, it was a trick answer.

CHWOKA: Well, it stands to reason that if you can have trick questions, you can also have trick answers.

NOXIGAR: It's the same thing with rhetoric.

No matter who bought it, {zooms back out quickly, stong bad

CHWOKA: more like THONG bad

NOXIGAR: Thong Bad? Ewwwwww....
{Noxigar dry heaves}

relaxes again} his wallet paid for the cage and more!

BLUEBRY: i have no idea what's going on in this story

NOXIGAR: Tell me about it, stud.
NOXIGAR: The Bluebry Show is just as guilty as this fanstuff is in confusing the audience.

{cuts to the field. a large dog cage is there, with a wooden plank on it, with 'free marshmalows' written on it poorly in pink paint. homestar is trapped inside the cage, in what appears to be a very uncomfortable position.}

CHWOKA: If you know what I mean

NOXIGAR: Perhaps I don't know what you mean. But... since a sex joke isn't too far out of reach for an occasional riff...

HOMESTAR: Um, guys? I'm very uncomfortable! And I still can't find the marshmallows!

{two marshmallows fly onscreen,

CHWOKA: Holy crap, flying marshmallows!

landing just outside the cage. cuts back to the original view}

STRONG BAD: And now we have nothing to do but {pulls a cold on

SKUB: Put a cold on, it's hot outside!

{Noxigar smiles lightly, since this is actually a funny remark for once}

out of hammerspace} drink cold ones all day long!

CHWOKA: You'd pass out before you finished.

NOXIGAR: Hypothermia? Or the fact "cold one" is a euphemism for alcohol?

THE CHEAT: {approving the cheat noises}

{two shadows begin fading in, some screams are heard. eventually, marissa and yvonne fall on the cheat, one by one. as the cheat makes scared the cheat noises and runs offscreen, strong bad suddenly looks at them, his sun glasses falling off}

NACHOMAN: And homestarrunner.com was never the same

NOXIGAR: Since when do the Brothers Chaps take ideas from fans outside of Strong Bad Email recipients, Dealin' Burgers?

STRONG BAD: WAAGH! Who the crap are you guys!

MARISSA: {slowly getting up, rubbing her head} Oh, where am I?

SKUB: "All I can see are clouds that look like cinnamon buns and the same 7 green lumps!"
NACHOMAN: "I have all these wacky adventures for my characters, but I need a way to introduce them. I know! They fell from the sky for no reason!"

NOXIGAR: Hey, it worked in Final Fantasy Dissidia, in Super Smash Brothers Brawl, in MUGEN, in Guitar Hero...{Noxigar drones on and on about how many literary works, video game or otherwise, make the "They fell from the sky for no reason" cliche.}

STRONG BAD: In the middle of ruining my perfect day. {turns head} How did you even get here}''

BLUEBRY: yeah guys}''

NOXIGAR: At least the author is trying to use the wiki mechanics to make his writing semi-decent.
Oh well. Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.

MARISSA: Um... Are you from that U.S.A. contry,

CHWOKA: Country, County, Contry.

or something.

SKUB: Well it doesn't look like Marissa is from this "contry."
NACHOMAN: I want to make a joke about Comrade Bad from the USSR but I'm just too sad

NOXIGAR: Hmph. Comrade Bad from the USSR would have immediately became my favorite character on here, surpassing Skullbuggy.

STRONG BAD: {eye lids lower}

CHWOKA: Eye lids higher!

Um, yeah. You're in that 'U.S.A. country'.

MARISSA: Then how did we get here?

NACHOMAN: Because Strong Bad would know
{Skub begins forcibly restraining Chwoka, who is struggling with all his might.}
NACHOMAN: What are you doing?
SKUB: If I let up, then—
{Chwoka breaks free}
CHWOKA: NCE IN A LIFETIME WATER FLOWING UNDERGROUND SAME AS IT EVER WAS SAME AS IT EVER WAS SAME AS IT EVER WAS
{Skub slaps Chwoka, who stops.}

NOXIGAR: I'm sorry, I don't quite follow. Was this Chwoka and Skullbuggy making jokes at each other's expenses again? I get the feeling that's going to be a running gag. Wait, no. That'll get gritty fast.

STRONG BAD: I suspect a catauplt

SKUB: Headlines: English language massacred, 'French is next'

or an airplane.

YVONNE: Too... many... salted peanuts...

NACHOMAN: Too... many... forced jokes...

NOXIGAR: Sounds like Nuclear Noid in a nutshell~

MARISSA: So, do you know if there's a hotel around here?

CHWOKA: No, but there is a brothel. An empty one, but still.

STRONG BAD: I could always force the cheat to let you use the guest room in his grill.

SKUB: You can check out any time you want, but you can never leave! Because you'll be, like, wedged in there.

NOXIGAR: DAMN IT, SKULLBUGGY! I TRY TO GIVE YOU CREDIT ON YOU BEING FUNNY ON OCCASION ON MFT3K! THE CHEAT'S GRILL HAS BEEN SHOWN TO FIT ENTIRE PIZZA PARTIES AND THE LIKE HOW COULD YOU DISREGARD THAT AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

YVONNE: {getting up, gripping her stomach}

CHWOKA: Then she vomits.

Where are we?

BLUEBRY: that U.S.A. contry

MARISSA: Almost in a grill, apparently.

CHWOKA: YOU IN THE GRILL

NOXIGAR: YOU IN THE THEATRE

{facing strong bad} How do you expect us to live in a grill?!?

SKUB: That's just so improbable!!!!

NOXIGAR: Well yes, for real life standards of housing, a grill would be an unreasonable area of residence.

STRONG BAD: Hey, it's apparently a mansion that looks like a grill.

YVONNE: Is that physically posible?

SKUB: Laws of physics, prove me wong!!!

STRONG BAD: {groans} Follow me.

{cuts to the king of towns castle. The cheat is curled up on a wall, looking mortified. Strong bad, the cheat, and yvonne walk in. the cheat screams}

SKUB: "THEIR EYES ARE FILLED WITH BLOODLUST"

STRONG BAD: Calm down, the cheat! They're not here to hurt you!

CHWOKA: They're here to take you to the farm, where you can run and play forever!

NOXIGAR: {imitating Skullbuggy} "When are we going to tend the rabbits, Chwoka?"

YVONNE: Aw...

STRONG BAD: Look, these guys-

MARISSA: Girls.

NACHOMAN: It's kinda bad when a woman-crazed guy like Strong Bad mistakes you for a dude

NOXIGAR: Yea, it would be pretty bad. I agree.

STRONG BAD: -got launched off a catapult-

MARISSA: Fell off a plane.

STRONG BAD: -And are some how here now.

SKUB: Are you sure it wasn't a skydiving accident? Or, like, attempted murder?

THE CHEAT: {inquizitive the cheat sounds}

CHWOKA: This method of transcribing The Cheat will get old fast.

STRONG BAD: You're the only person with a guest room in this entire series!

CHWOKA: IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE I SAID SO ALRIGHT

NOXIGAR: Actually, this might've been a matter-of-fact statement"

THE CHEAT: {intrigued the cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Pay you?!? How much?!?

NACHOMAN: can't strong bad just let them fend for themselves and die in the blizzard

THE CHEAT: {holds out right arm} {smarmy the cheat noises}

SKUB: The Cheat, I'm pretty sure this is a kid's cartoon. I don't think you can say that!

STRONG BAD: {poorly acting reluctantly} Oh man. If I have to pay that much... {holds out a bag labeled 'fresh pencil shavings}

THE CHEAT: {excited the cheat noises} {runs offscreen}

MARISSA: Pencil shavings?

SKUB: No, but it's a joke from the cartoon

NOXIGAR: Yes, pencil shavings. Give the author some credit of acknowledging Homestar Runner canon instead of just awkwardly shoehorning the characters in.

{cuts to a small peacock room.

SKUB: A what now
CHWOKA: The NBC room, where they think of new and exciting ways to ruin their public image.

the floors are a sea foam.

SKUB: Phew! I was afraid my immersion into the Homestar Runner universe would be ruined.
CHWOKA: I'm on a sea foam diet; If I see foam, I eat it!

NOXIGAR: I am now further dissuaded from manipulating homophones.

strong bad opens the door, and the three walk in.}

YVONNE: What's wrong with physics today?

CHWOKA: Well, water has been running upwards since noon.

STRONG BAD: This is your room. Unpack your bags, and get out of my life.

BLUEBRY: oh, if i could only say the same things

'MARISSA: {angered} We have no bags.

CHWOKA: I thought all girls had bags.
{Boooo}

{Noxigar boos alongside the booing from everywhere else}

STRONG BAD: Not my fault. {leaves}

CHWOKA: Like a tree.

YVONNE: Um... where's the {zooms out, shows the room is empty.} furniture? {furniture echos}

MARISSA: Cool. ECHO! {echos}

NOXIGAR: It appears Bluebry wasn't here to spellcheck. Did he just give up? {echoes}

YVONNE: Back on topic, {zooms back in} what will we sleep on?

MARISSA: Um...

{the screen quickly changes to marissa and yvonne sleeping on some wooden kitchen chairs turned over.}

SKUB: And that's where we end. No, really.
NACHOMAN: "I was going to write more but I couldn't see through the tears of pure joy in my eyes"

Easter Eggs

• After seven seconds, the following plays:
  • MARISSA: {half asleep} Back... in... pain...

SKUB: You know, it would be much easier to sleep on the floor. Maybe you could have spared a slipped disc.

Fun Facts

• 'Tiger trap' is a reference to Calvin and Hobbes, a fameous comic strip.

CHWOKA: famous

NOXIGAR: Apparently Bluebry was absent after all!

• The room echo only appears when the camera is zoomed out.

NACHOMAN: In what universe is this a fun fact?

• Marissa yelling echo is a reference to 'Finding Nemo,' when Dory yells the same thing into a trench.

SKUB: Yeah, her and everybody who's ever climbed a mountain.

NOXIGAR: {singing} CLIMB EVERY MOUNTAINNNNNNNN

• '...in the entire series!' is a reference to breaking the fourth wall.

SKUB: BECAUSE THERE'S BEEN ONLY ONE EPISODE!!!<
CHWOKA: Can it really be a reference to breaking the fourth wall?
BLUEBRY: stop thinking so much about this or you will break your brain/blockquote>

NOXIGAR: Something tells me I want to delete this end bit but again that's violating riffing protocol.

{Noxigar adds a "</blockquote>" at the end of Bluebry's statement.}

NOXIGAR: But this isn't!