RiffText/MFT3K/Records of Bell/6

Summary

Bell and company go on a month-long cruise.

Cast: Tracy, Gilligan, Sarah McAllister, Kuro, Kinzo, Bling, Don Skull, Im a bell, Cruise Stewards, Five Poker Players

Places: Banquet Hall, Bell's House, Dock, Cruise Ship

Episode Information: 106-Never Bring Embarrassments On Cruises With You

Insult: [CENSORED BY THE FCC]

Credit Joke: Tinfoil Hat-Wearers

BLUEBRY: we are not a joke >:(

NOXIGAR: Do ho ho ho, that's what you think!

Transcript

{fade in from black to a banquet hall. Bell, Sarah, Don Skull, Kuro, Kan, and Kinzo are sitting at the table, dead. Pause 5 seconds}

TRACY & GILLIGAN:{run onscreen} DON'T DRINK THE WINE!!!

SKULLB: DON'T DRINK THE WATER
BLUEBRY: I HEAR THEY PUT SOMETHING IN IT. T-TO MAKE YOU FORGET

{cue theme song. cut to Bell's living room. Tracy, Sarah, Kuro, Kinzo, Bling, and Don Skull are there watching SkullB Show

SKULLB: whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAT

NOXIGAR: {singing} Shout, shout

LET IT ALL OUT
These are the things I can do without
COME ON
I'm talking to you
COME ON

reruns.

CHWOKA: You can tell the airdate just by looking at it.

Bell runs in holding a letter}

IM A BELL: HEY GUYS! GUESS WHAT WE GOT IN THE MA-

EVERYONE BUT BELL: SHH!

IM A BELL: Well, FINE! I guess I'll just go on the ALL EXPENSES PAID MONTH-LONG CRUISE by myself!

BLUEBRY: Okay you do that then.

EVERYONE BUT BELL: ... {eyes widen, jump on Bell} SORRYSORRYSORRYLETUSGOONTHECRUISE

SKULLB: GOON THE CRUISE
CHWOKA: They say all of this in unison? They should take up choir singing.

PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!

IM A BELL: Ummmmm... Fine. Get packing. the cruise ship leaves in two hours.

BLUEBRY: Mail is very precise where bell lives.

Oh, and, don't worry. Our cabins have internet access.

SKULLB: "It doesn't have beds, but hey. Only the necessities!"

KURO: Good.

CHWOKA: Internet access will surely make sure the boat won't tip.

DON SKULL: How many cabins do we get?

IM A BELL: If we're ALL going... Six cabins.

BLING: There are SEVEN of us.

IM A BELL: I'm gonna share a cabin with Sarah.

SKULLB: THE JOKE IS THAT THEY WILL HAVE SEX

NOXIGAR: Aw, telling the viewers what the joke is? Isn't that nice?

BLING: Ah.

{cut to a dock. A large, luxury cruise liner is there. Many people are boarding it. Bell and company walk in onscreen with many suitcases}

CRUISE STEWARD: Hello, may I see your tickets?

IM A BELL:{hands the steward the letter} I got this in the mail.

CRUISE STEWARD: Ah, you are the winner of the all expenses paid trip. How many are you bringing?

IM A BELL: Counting me, seven.

CRUISE STEWARD: Ah, I see... How many cabins will you be needing?

IM A BELL: Six, please.

SKULLB: THE ACTION NEVER STOPS

CRUISE STEWARD: Oh! Very good. I was afraid someone would have to stay in an average, for we only have six luxury cabins left.

SKULLB: After all, we all know these people deserve only the best

KINZO: Heh. Lucky us.

IM A BELL: Quiet, you.

CRUISE STEWARD: ... I'll lead you to your cabins...

{cut to on the cruise ship. The steward is leading everyone to their cabins. Kinzo spies a casino}

BLUEBRY: Spies? Casino? This is just some James Bond rip.

NOXIGAR: "All it needs is the music and then it demands a lawsuit!"

KINZO:{hands Bell his luggage} Put these in my room for me, 'kay? {runs into casino}

IM A BELL: ...Right. Whatever.

{cut to a few minutes later. Only Bell and Sarah don't have a cabin yet}

CRUISE STEWARD: And HERE- {gestures toward a luxury cabin} is YOUR cabin.

IM A BELL: Thank you, sir.

{the steward walks offscreen. Im a bell and Sarah walk into the cabin. Cut to inside it}

IM A BELL:{sets suitcase down} Well, this is it. What d'you think?

SARAH: It's nice, I guess.

BLUEBRY: then they make out

IM A BELL: What's wrong?

BLUEBRY: you aren't making out yet

{Noxigar groans}
NOXIGAR: You really want a make out scene don't you?

SARAH: Well, one, I wasn't really expecting to spend a month on a cruise ship. And two, wat

BLUEBRY: what

about work? You, me, and Tracy all have jobs.

SKULLB: Watching anime and eating Pocky is not a job. Shut up.

NOXIGAR: WHY HELLO THERE RACIST STEREOTYPE LONG TIME NO SEE DID YOU JUST GET OUT OF REHAB?

IM A BELL: Oh yeah. Hold on. {disappears. reappears a few seconds later} I took care of it. I retroactively planned a month long paid vacation for all three of us.

SKULLB: I JUST DID IT RETROACTIVELY

SARAH: Good.

{cut to the casino. Kinzo is playing poker with five other people on the cruise. He has many poker chips next to him}

PLAYER 1: How? HOW AM I LOSIN'? I'm a GREAT poker player!

PLAYER 2: Hey, red-skin! How're you so good?

SKULLB: "You already took my land, you don't need to call me names."

PLAYER 3: I say he's cheatin'!

PLAYER 4: If you are, I'll KILL YA.

BLUEBRY: Dude, he's a major badass too, I wouldn't put it past him !!!

KINZO: I'm a demon. I'm naturally good at all types of gambling.

PLAYER 3: Does that mean I'm right?

PLAYER 5: I think all that metal is some sort of cheatin' device!

SKULLB: "One of those dad-gum cheat-a-ma-jiggies!"

KINZO: ... I'll just collect my winnings now... {grabs poker chips and runs off}

PLAYER 1: GET 'EM!

{the five poker layers

SKULLB: I'd like to poke her layers.

NOXIGAR: DAMN IT, SKULLBUGGY!

chase Kinzo offscreen. Cut to the deck, where Kinzo is chased onscreen}

KINZO: AAAAHHH!!! {runs into own cabin, locks door}

{the five poker players slam into the door. They stars

BLUEBRY: start

banging on the door. Cut to an hour later. There is now a cruise steward talking to them}

CRUISE STEWARD: Excuse me, sirs, but the other people on board this cruise liner have been complaining about the noise. Please stop, or I will have to- {eyes turn red} -EAT YOUR SOULS- {eyes turn normal} -lock you in the brig.

SKULLB: Cruise ships always have brigs.

{the poker player run off scared. Cut to a restaurant aboard the ship. Bell and company are sitting at a table}

IM A BELL: Everyone? Eat much and sleep well. It'll be a long month.

TRACY: It's only six episodes.

BLUEBRY: Six too many.

IM A BELL: What?

TRACY:{quickly} What?

{fade to black. cue the credits}

SKULLB: what

NOXIGAR: I agree.