RiffText/MFT3K/Bell Quest/1

NARRATOR: Hello. I bet you are wondering,

BLUEBRY: No.

NOXIGAR: Okay, this isn't funny. You could at least wait until the Narrator is done with his sentence, and then riff it. Now the context is lost.

who were those people

BLUEBRY: No.

and why did they just capture Bling?

BLUEBRY: Not in the least.

Well, let's see..

{Cut to an underground lab. Two dark, unseeable figures

CHWOKA: If they're unseeable, how do we know that they are there?
SKULLB: Once again, the author shows his mastery over words that don't exist. Unseeable?

NOXIGAR: Raiku already got the dictionary for this, too.

are staring at a monitor. On the monitor, Bling is in his bed, asleep.}

BLUEBRY: Are these men 40 and on Myspace as 12 year olds by chance?
SKULLB: What gets me is that they're taking time out of their day to watch some stupid bell cat.

NARRATOR: But, nevermind that now, let's see what Im a bell's doing.

CHWOKA: I have a feeling I'm not going to like this "Im a Bell" fellow...
SKULLB: Who cares about plot progression? Let's go visit the author surrogate original character!

NOXIGAR: ...aren't you guys author surrogates?

HOMESTAR: You said Doing {pronounces this like "boing"}!

{cut to Im a bell's computer room}

BLUEBRY: An entire room for one computer? Is this 1976?

NOXIGAR: No, it's called a computer room. Find one.

IM A BELL: Hey, where's Bling?

Captured

Dear Im a bell,
We have captured Bling. Please get Badstar, and whoever else you want and bring them to some random

BLUEBRY: LOL RANDOM

place. You'll probably see us. Whoever we are.
From
Anonymous Evils

attatchment

CHWOKA: Mein eyes!
SKULLB: Is it... is it possible to have a seizure and throw up at the same time?

NOXIGAR: I don't know, but why don't you go try it?

IM A BELL: Bling... KIDNAPPED?!!! NOOO!!!-Hey, an attachment!

SKULLB: I'm willing to bet Bling is like Bell's neglected cat. I don't think he even cares--he just wants a reason to yell.

NOXIGAR: How much are you willing to bet? {grins wickedly}

{Im a bell clicks the attatchment. the words "Alphacram.exe re-installed! Well, that sucks!" appear onscreen}

SKULLB: "Bell made a fiction! Well, that sucks!"

IM A BELL: Alpha Cram? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Oh, hey Badstar.

BLUEBRY: Quick question, what the hell is Alpha Cram?

NOXIGAR: Well, Bluebry, it's a program and- eh, you probably don't care.

BADSTAR: What's up? Bling Kidnapped? ALPHA CRAM RE-INSTALLED? NOOOO!!!!!!!

CHWOKA: Wait, when did he get here? Is he always here, like a stationary object, and is thus needing no introduction as a feature of the room?
SKULLB: I'm noticing that this computer program is taking precedence over a stolen cat. These guys should be arrested.

IM A BELL & BADSTAR: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SKULLB: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh God this is the worst thing I've ever seen.

NOXIGAR: And you're only on the first chapter, mind you. I think this could get better.

IM A BELL: So, who should we bring?

BLUEBRY: Bring a shovel, I think my soul is dying.

NOXIGAR: You should use that shovel to smack that doctor in the head, then bury him alive.

IM A BELL: I think my cousin could help!

BADSTAR: Good idea! Let's bring Vegerot!

SKULLB: I'm betting Bell wondered, "how can I fit more anime into this?"

IM A BELL: How about Home-

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Me?!!!!

BLUEBRY: Oh cool, more characters coming out of nowhere!

NOXIGAR: Seeing as this was on the HRFWiki originally, you should expect Homestar Runner characters.

IM A BELL: -school. Let's bring Homeschool. Oh, and Hom-

HOMESTAR: ME?!!!

IM A BELL: -sar. Homsar should come with us. Oh, and-

HOMESTAR: MEEEE?!!!!! Pleeeeaase? Can I come?!

IM A BELL: -Kraxario & Anthru-Borg. Hey, Homestar, you wanna come, too?

CHWOKA: Why bring these people? The H*R.com people will never ever get mentioned again.
SKULLB: "I'm tired of thinking. I'll let other people make these characters!"

HOMESTAR:{annoyed and tired} I guess so. {whispering} Pain-in-the-

VEGEROT: We need to bring this to the HIA's attention.

CHWOKA: You really don't.
SKULLB: The Federal Bureau of Misused Filler's gonna know about this.

NOXIGAR: On the contrary, if Bell Quest is so awful as you claim it is they won't.

HOMESCHOOL: Yeah, I think that's a good idea.

IM A BELL: Homeschool? Since when have you been out of randospace?

HOMESCHOOL: Oh, a few hours. You know who we should bring?!! Ebeneezer Finklehöller!

IM A BELL: Why that jerk?

BADSTAR: Let's bring Pter and Kyubii.

BLUEBRY: Let's ignore questions in an effort to see how many people we can fit into our entourage!

IM A BELL: Grood ideer!

SKULLB: I'm really admiring how many liberties Bell's taking with spelling, grammar and diction. Hell, he's just tearing the English language a new one. Bra-vo!

NOXIGAR: {sarcastically} Since a Coach Z impression is destroying anything and not just an accent of which is being used.

Y'know what? I think this is enough.

SKULLB: Oh, please end it now.

{Noxigar sighs}

Lesse,

SKULLB: Ah, damnit.

Me, Badstar, Bellson, Vegerot, Homeschool, Homsar, Kraxario, Anthru-Borg, Homestar, Ebeneezer Finklehöller, Pter, and Kyubii... Yeah, that's enough!

BLUEBRY: Watch as it's not enough and the cast doubles by the third chapter.

NOXIGAR: That's up to the author, thank you.

{Cut to the lair of the two evil guy's. One of them is looking at Bling, who is in a cage.}

????-?????: Hello, Bling! BWAHAHA!!!

?? ? ????: {Offscreen.}Hey, come look at this! This will sure give you a laugh!

CHWOKA: Surely will? Sure will?
SKULLB: This will sure give you an aneurysm!

NOXIGAR: That was the least of this part you could've nitpicked.

????-?????: What?

{????-????? walk's

BLUEBRY: Walk is

over to where the two boss evil guys.

BLUEBRY: Said the sentence fragment.

The boss guy's

BLUEBRY: Guy is

are looking at a monitor.}

?????: It's those fools! they actually think they can find us! What they don't know is that our lair is located on... THE EXTREMELY SPOOK CLIFF!

SKULLB: NOT THE SPOOK CLIFF

NOXIGAR: SPOOK CLIFF was your witty one-liner for describing Bell Quest on the MFT3K main page! Yes, the SPOOK CLIFF.

THE ONLY WAY THEY CAN MAKE IT HERE IS IF THEY HAVE THIS MAP!!! {Holds up a map. A wind blow the map out of his hands and out a window.}

SKULLB: Only one wind. No more, no less.

????-?????: Aw, sh-

BLUEBRY: Yeah I know, it's as painful for us too.

{cut back to the computer room}

IM A BELL: Wait, how are we gonna find-

{a map flies into Im a bell's eye}

IM A BELL: GWAAAH!!!!!

SKULLB: I got a papercut and it really hurts!!!!!!

NOXIGAR: Or he's surprised by the acquisition of a map and collision with it.

VEGEROT: Hey, it's a map to the kidnsapper's lair!

BLUEBRY: KID'N'SAPPER, BUY ONE TODAY!

END OF CHAPTER 1