RiffText/MFT3K/1-Up Emails/challenge

1-UP EMAIL 51!

If you don't know why 1-Up has a Mansion... Please read 1-Up Email 20.

BLUEBRY: okay lemme just—oh wait it's deleted

Cast (in appereance of order): Mysterious Person, Marzichan, 1-Up, Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Ben, Bubusuke, The Guy at the Depot, The Homestar Runner

Transcript

{Cuts to a Graveyard}

VOICE: Fools...

BLUEBRY: "laying there dead, doing nothing with their lives."

{The camera moves to the left for a couple of seconds and then stops to reveal a shadowy figure standing there. He looks suspisiously like Enker from Mega Man: Dr. Wily's Revenge.}

CHWOKA: Oh boy, guys, this person likes megaman too! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
SKUB: YES

???: Foolish People... They destroyed my home... The Old Pietimer Place...

CHWOKA: Does this guy have polio? Is that why all the pauses between words?
SKUB: Guys, don't make fun of Enker. He didn't get enough oxygen when he was born.

MARZICHAN: {walks slowly from the side of the screen}

???: Huh?

MARZICHAN: I senced that something was going to happen tonight... Something Bad...

CHWOKA: Is that the 20X6 Strong Bad?
SKUB: Well if you were aware of Homestar Runner canon,

And by the looks of it... I was right. {holds wand up to the air}

BLUEBRY: why am i getting harry potter flashbacks
SKUB: EXPECTO PATROH NO

???: Get her...

CHWOKA: some flowers and maybe a chocolate box.

{Millions of Ghosts

SKUB: This is an awesome band name.

pop out of the graves and start grabbing Marzichan}

MARZICHAN: Ah! No! Let me go! Help!

CHWOKA: got dang it daphne

{The Ghosts fly back into there graves with Marzichan}

???: This could be the beggining of the year of the dead...

BLUEBRY: they already get a day in mexico, they need to stop being greedy

Mwuhahahahahahaha! Hahahahahahaha! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

CHWOKA: {coughs, hacks}
SKUB: {wheeze, asthma inhaler}

{Cuts to 1-Up walking slowly into he's Mansion}

SKUB: Lookin' like a fool with he's Mansion on the ground

1-UP: My Tandy 2000 is destroyed... I can't beleive it... It was impossible.

CHWOKA: so much drama ;_;

{Cuts to the inside of the Mansion. 1-Up walks in and up the stairs}

1-UP: The only computer I have left is the Compy 486. But, It is really damaged.

CHWOKA: God, just the way he punctuates makes everybody seem incredibly depressed all the time.

{1-Up walks into he's room with a bowl of Chocolate Pudding and lies on he's bed}

BLUEBRY: "I've got nothing left in life except my worst weakness: chocolate pudding. I've been sober for 8 years. But that ends tonight.
CHWOKA: HE LIES ON HE'S BED AND HE GOES TO HE'S SLEEP
SKUB: He put's on Lifetime an begins to Cry.}

1-UP: {sighs} Nothing can cheer me up now...

SKUB: "Nothing except the sweet embrace of malt liquor."

{Cuts to the Basement of the Mansion where Homestar Runner and Marzipan are watching TV}

CHWOKA: Wait, if this is 20X6, how did these two chumps get here?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ben!

SKUB: The two of us need look no moooooore!
CHWOKA: Unless David Byrne wrote that song I do not get it and I refuse to.

{The Jaro 2000 (Ben) enters the Basement}

CHWOKA: Wait, it's 20X6 and the still suffix things "2000" to make them seem futuristic?
SKUB: No, it's retro. Like "ironically" wearing clothes that make you look like a cotton candy suicide.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I need you to go cheer up 1-Up with this exciting news.

BEN: What is it?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I am making a robot brother for you... Ben.

SKUB: We both found what we were looooking foooooor!

BEN: Cool. I'll tell him right away.

BLUEBRY: "This is the most exciting day of my life. I could just scream with joy. Yay."

{Cuts to 1-Up's Room. 1-Up has finished eating he's Pudding and is laying on he's bed,

SKUB: You know, I have a sinking feeling that this guy's not from this country.

still sad. Ben enters the room}

BEN: 1-Up! I have great news!

1-UP: {being sarcastic} What? My Compy is gone too?

CHWOKA: Well, yeah, but I was gonna tell you the even better news!

BEN: No. Even Better! Your dad is making me a robot Brother named... Ken!

CHWOKA: Wait, Homestar never said anything about the name.
SKUB: With a friend to call my own, I'll never be alone!
CHWOKA: Boy, you're just not going to let this gag go, are you? Also, I really like men.

1-UP: KEN?!

BLUEBRY: i agree that's a terrible name.

BEN: Yeah. Isn't it great?

1-UP: This day can't get any worse...

SKUB: "I hate how other people are happy. {upends a bottle of Prozac}"

I need an email to forget all about it... {walks to Compy 486 and sings} This is a sad email rap...

CHWOKA: Why not just make this Other character Email Droopy Dog?
SKUB: I think somebody had already taken Strong Sad.

     Dear 1-Up,
Come meet me at
the field. I am
asking you for a
challenge if you
couldn't tell.
20X6 Homestarry/
Homesaviour

2010 CHWOKA: guys isd this how you do it now

1-UP: I'm not in the mood for a challenge... {sighs}

BLUEBRY: read: i don't wanna answer this email
SKUB: But how will 1-Up ever be the Guy now ;_;

{1-Up walks offscreen. Cuts to Bubusuke's Floating Mall. 1-Up enters from the right side of the screen}

1-UP: Hey, Bubusuke.

BUBUSUKE: Hey, 1-Up. I got a deal for you. I heard that you defeated Sticklyman.

1-UP: I sure did.

CHWOKA: {sigh} but i'm so depressed about it
SKUB: Waaaahh

BUBUSUKE: Well, I have two tickets to a challenge against Orano.

1-UP: The guy from Bonus Stage?

CHWOKA: Guys remember when everybody liked Bonus Stage?
SKUB: I thought nobody liked Bonus Stage.

BUBUSUKE: What? No. Orano! One of the 20X6 Fighting Elite that nobody has yet been able to defeat. I'll give you the tickets if you can beat me in a challenge.

BLUEBRY: or best offer
SKUB: No. No, I thought Records of Bell was over. I can't go back! I CAN'T GO BACK THERE!
{Skub begins to cry tears of sadness and also ketchup.}

1-UP: Cool. Challenge the great Orano. Hmm... Okay.

CHWOKA: This is beginning to feel like an episode of Pokemon.

BUBUSUKE: Okay. Good.

1-UP: Give me the tickets!

BUBUSUKE: What?! You have to fight me for them.

CHWOKA: {1Up, without hesitation, shanks Bubsuke}

1-UP: What?! When did you say that?

BLUEBRY: five freaking seconds ago
SKUB: "Before I cut you, ese"

BUBUSUKE: Umm... I forgot.

BLUEBRY: five freaking seconds ago

But, I think I said it...

{Cuts to the Depot and The Guy at the Depot is talking to The Homestar Runner}

THE GUY AT THE DEPOT: You have to fight for these tickets, young boy... in the future.

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER: Why can't I have them now? I miss my shoe.

BLUEBRY: don't we all miss our shoes?
SKUB: Woah, when did the mood just brighten up considerably?

{Cuts to a black screen where to words "Scene Missing" are viewable. Cuts back to Bubusuke's Floating Mall and 1-Up}

BUBUSUKE: Are you going to buy them or not?

1-UP: I want Pudding!

BLUEBRY: no—you'll relapse!
SKUB: I thought the detox worked <:(

BUBUSUKE: Okay. Sure. {Gives Pudding}

BLUEBRY: enabler

1-UP: Thanks. {Snatches Tickets and Pudding and then runs off}

BUBUSUKE: Hey! You can't do that! You forgot to pay for the pudding and you stole those valuble tickets without a fight! {sighs} I need a new job...

SKUB: "It's too bad Obama refuses to create new jobs"

{Cuts back to a broken and torn apart Mansion.

CHWOKA: Whereas Zoo ha\d troubles with no capitalization, Mitchell has problems with too much.
SKUB: Well. Looks like 1-Up's on a bender! Again.

1-Up runs onscreen}

1-UP: Wh-Wha?

CHWOKA: Wha {record scratch} wh {record scratch} wh-wha?

Dad! What happened here?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, I was about to have a Cake... But,

BLUEBRY: But,
SKUB: "they threatened to kill me!"

Then the house exploded.

1-UP: Where's Mum

SKUB: "Where's me mum, gov'?"
CHWOKA: Way to alienate the audience you fat ham.
{Skub cries tears of sadness and also cake frosting.}

and my sister?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: They took them.

1-UP: They?! Who?!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Them! The spirits of the dead...

1-UP: What happened to all our money?

BLUEBRY: it's in the bank and assets

HOMESTAR RUNNER: It's been torn.

BLUEBRY: oh or you keep in in a big bag like an idiot
SKUB: "You'd be surprised how long it takes to rip up 1000 dollars in 1-dollar bills."

We only have 500 dollars left.

1-UP: What?! That can't get us anything good in this town...

SKUB: "Maybe this wouldn't happen if Obama would let us have his secret money that he's been keeping from us tax-paying Americans"

Except... we can still get junk from the 21st Century.

BLUEBRY: how coincidental

HOMESTAR RUNNER: It's no use...

1-UP: What do we do now, Dad?

CHWOKA: Deal.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: 1-Up, Pack your Bags and bring along Ben. I must complete Ken by tommorow.

CHWOKA: Remember when Homestar was a funny guy?
SKUB: All we need now is Lil' Brudder to lighten up the mood.

1-UP: Dad! No! I-... I won't let-

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {yells} Do it, 1-Up! Do what I say!

BLUEBRY: dude, chill
SKUB: "Stop crying or I'll hit you more!!"

1-UP: {sighs} Okay, Dad... {He starts looking through the pile of broken stuff for he's bag and then he puts all the stuff left that isn't broken}

{It starts to rain}

CHWOKA: CANDY!}
SKUB: free puppies for everybody!!}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I guess we're just going to walk around and look for a new home...

1-UP: {Gasps} My... My... My...

CHWOKA: Michelle.
SKUB: My, my, WOO! M-m-m-my Sharona!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What is it, son?

1-UP: My Compy 486 is gone... It's the only thing I had that wasn't the Tandy 2000.

CHWOKA: hahahahahahahahahaha
SKUB: Waaaaaaaaah

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh... Okay. Umm... We better go.

BLUEBRY: he was angry, but now he's not. talk about quality in writing!
CHWOKA: that's called character depth right there!!!!

{Cuts to a Black Screen the words "To Be Continued..." slowly appear onscreen. The credits start rolling and playing the "Stinkoman 20X6" theme song in a slow and sad rythum}

{A torn Paper comes down saying "Click here to email 1-Up"}

SKUB: Good lord. I'm going to need therapy to get through this.

Fun Facts

• 1-Up and Homestar Runner are now homeless in the storyline.

BLUEBRY: really
SKUB: I shouldn't laugh, but HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

• This is the beggining of a new bad guy.

CHWOKA: From his head to his toes.

• Will we find out who Orano is?

BLUEBRY: that's not a fact, and it's certainly not fun

CHWOKA: Jesus, use a template!