Difference between revisions of "RiffText/RTOD/SSXMails/BHZ"

Revision as of 08:41, 11 August 2016

Welcome...to a look into the past! Back to a series that started on November 13, 2003... on Burning Horizon's Homestar Runner Fan-Forum...

LIGHTNING GUY: What's with all the pauses? Does this kid have asthma or something?

NAMINE: Well... ellipses are often used as dramatic pauses... but they're also worth more than just dramatic pauses...

SSX-Mails! That's right! SSXMails have been around longer than I've been on this wiki!

MR. CLOUD: This is a pretty enthusiastic fella.

Have a look...

SSX-Mails on BHZ

But, I'm not the first one to make emails on BHZ...

Two days earlier...November 11, 2003...Depressio's Sadmails were born. It became very popular, and on January 30 of this very year, the final Sadmail, Sadmail # 200, was released. Thanks to Depressio, SSXMails stayed on BHZ for quite a while, and now rests here.

LIGHTNING GUY AND MR. CLOUD: Screw you, Depressio!

22 SSXMails (and counting) were made and finished on BHZ, and I think it's a good idea to show them here. Emails 1-15 are so short, I made one page with ALL of them! Hered we's going!

LIGHTNING GUY: Hered we's going...
MR. CLOUD: I think my brain just exploded.

NOTE: THESE ARE OLD EMAILS, NOT COUNTING SSXMAIL 16. WHEN I MADE THESE, I WAS NOT EVEN ON THIS WEBSITE.
Characters:

SSX-The host of the email show thingy.

MR. CLOUD: I love your sophisticated wording.

A clever hedgehog-type thing who's all yellow. Oh, and he's got a weird X on his forehead that gives him unlimited powers.

LIGHTNING GUY: Unlimited powers? Those be fightin' words!

MR. CLOUD: A-Mary-to-the-Sue.

LIGHTNING GUY: You're married to the zoo?

Also, he can levitate. Pretty cool, if I say so myself.

Mr. Teatime-An evil, flying turkey with sunglasses. And yes, I know that makes no sense.

LIGHTNING GUY: Darn. You got me.

But that's what he is. A flying turkey who wears sunglasses.

Darkest_Raven-An evil girl who wears a robe, and has telepathic powers. She usually works with Teatime. I bet you can't guess why.

MR. CLOUD: I bet you can't get me to care.

Da_Burninator-A cool, S-shaped, brown dragon. He's pretty cool. Perhaps too cool.

LIGHTNING GUY: {puts on sunglasses} Too cool for school, yo.

Or maybe it's just because he has some cool poses.

Depressio-A big, bloated gray elephant with soolnds, a sash, a gray hat, kinda big eyes, and huge gloves. He's pretty cool, but maybe not as cool as DB.

Homestar of Light-A golden, shiny Homestar. He's usually like Colonel Homestar,

LIGHTNING GUY: I know who this guy is.

NOXIGAR: Other people might not
NAMINE: Wouldn't it be fairly easy to tell who Homestar Runner was, though?

but other times, he's as stupid as ever. And he probably has a few powers and magic tricks.

PokeHomsar-A super intelligent Homsar with some guy's hat. He always gets ticked off by other people. Always.

MR. CLOUD: The colorful range of characters here doesn't make this surprising.

Coach Z-Take a guess. Yes, he's the H*R Coach Z.

LIGHTNING GUY: Oh, I thought he was Bruce Willis.

Just check H*R.com for details on him. Not much to say here.

Gir-

LIGHTNING GUY: Kill me now.

A crazy robot in a dog suit. It's kinda obvious he's not a dog, since he's got a zipper on his back, he's got stitches all over, and of course, STANDS UP. Not very dog-like. Oh, and he has blue hair. Gotta have the blue hair.

MR. CLOUD: No you don't. STOP DESTROYING MY CHILDHOOD!

NOXIGAR: It makes me wish I had a childhood to destroy.
NAMINE: I think it got destroyed on the way to the WUW. Maybe the WUW makes a good burial site for it.

Chwoka-Shapeshifter who can turn into anything he wants, and is also extremly smart. He lives in his own house, has to not disturb SSX with more people.

LIGHTNING GUY: I now regret bringing this back.

• 1-15
• 16. The Lost Email...COMING NOT RIGHT THIS SECOND, I SUPPOSE!
• 17. Movie
• 18. Zelda
• 19. An EMAIL? For Real?
• 19^1/2. "Holiday Email 1"
• 19^3/4. Youroppositesfightyouween!

MR. CLOUD: This guy is definitely screwing with us.

NOXIGAR: Yes, a guy who's deleted an e-mail show trying to retire it is definitely screwing with you, rather than just trying to move on from something he wrote ages ago.

• 20. Expandization
• 21. Life, and Not Enough Space in the
  Room to Enjoy It
• 22. The X 2
• 23. Someone New, Conspiracies, Super Bowl
  XXXIX, and Cliffhangers Together at Last
• 23.5. Superbowl Conspiracy - The Possibly Remotely Interesting Conclusion!
• 24. Curse of the Copyright Wizard

NOXIGAR: Knowing that the author tried deleting his own work and seeing it be brought back in defiance of this makes my flesh crawl.

NAMINE: Good, we can skip you riffing Lightning Guy's riffs of this work.
NOXIGAR: It's additionally because I can't find any of the riffs proper.
NAMINE: How? There are some riffed episodes.
NOXIGAR: Only six. And we can tell that there were supposed to be more. Problem is, the episode page of what I just copy-pasted and what is present on the RiffText On-Demand are mutually exclusive.
NAMINE: Let's go get the other riffs over with. Why'd you even bother riffing the title page of this, anyway?
NOXIGAR: Because John's always been an ass, and proof of that exists since 2011 (re: when the riff was made to begin with). The point was to destroy any hint of nostalgia I could have for the one formerly known as "JCM."
NAMINE: Nostalgia's not necessarily a bad thing.

NOXIGAR: I still don't value it at all.