Difference between revisions of "RiffText/AruseusEmails/biketheif"

Latest revision as of 20:54, 10 January 2013

NAMINE: I like how already there exist two spelling errors and I haven't even started the email yet. Now to correct both of them:

thief

biscuits

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Fang, Pom Pom, Tom, Homsar, Strong Bad, Anthruseus {easter egg}

Places: Computer Room, The Field, The Stick, 20X6 Field {easter egg}

Computer: E-Mach 1000

Date: September 14th, 2007

NAMINE: Almost a whole month since the last email! I wonder what Arceus has been doing in his spare time?

Transcript

ARUSEUS: For the first time in Arumail history, I'm gonna do a sbemail clone.

NAMINE: It's not the first time, buddy. Not even close. This is more like your tenth time minimum.

Here goes. {clicks the email icon}

ARUSEUS: Aw, sweet! I love this one!

NAMINE: Love what? This line seems to be out of place by being fifteen seconds too early.

subject: bike thieves

Hey Aruseus,
I'm at college and I need to keep my bike from being
stolen. I figure if I think like a thief, I can figure out
how to protect it. So, how would you try to steal my bike?
Virginia
MI

{Aruseus says MI as Mii}

NAMINE: Oh no, not another Wii-based joke.

ARUSEUS: {typing} Woah...a Mii emailed this? Then this must be declared a Mii-mail. Ok, I'm getting off topic.

NAMINE: You don't lampshade your off-topicness, because that's not how Strong Bad does his emails

{Aruseus clears the screen}

ARUSEUS: So...a bike thief, huh? Well, let's go to Aruseus' Many Methods of Bike Thievery! {ta-dah} Anyways, Method 1, my favorite.

{Cut to The Field, Fang is talking to Pom Pom, beside Fang is a black bike labled

NAMINE: labelled

"Night Shadow"}

NAMINE: And knowing references is only half the battle.

FANG: So, I was telling him the other day that you gotta go for the jumbles.

NAMINE: "Y'know, my friend Vanille told me to go for the jumbles. I somehow believed her, despite not really caring about non-Dragoon stuff."

POM POM: {bubbles, as if he was laughing}

FANG: Am I right?

{Pom Pom laughs some more, Aruseus sneaks up and puts his hands on the bike}

FANG: Hey! {grabs the bike}

ARUSEUS: Cheezit!

NAMINE: Uh, what? How are Cheez-Its involved in this, exactly?

{Aruseus pulls the bike away, with Fang's arms still attached to the bike, thus pulling Fang's arms off}

FANG: Aw, biscuits.

NAMINE: I forget this show initially tried way too hard to avoid cursing like a sailor. Props to 'em for that, though.

{Cut back to the E-Mach}

ARUSEUS: {typing} Although that method drastically went wrong when Fang's arms started punching me until he returned to pick up the bike. So...on to method two.

{Cut to The Stick, Aruseus is holding The Stick and pointing it at Tom's Bike, labled

NAMINE: For the second time already, labelled

"Speed Masta"}

ARUSEUS: One move, and the pie gets his doggie filtered.

NAMINE: That threat's too confusing to be legitimate.

TOM: You mean my bike, right?

ARUSEUS: Wadja!? Homsar! You wrote the script wrong!

HOMSAR: {offscreen} AaaAaahm a bottle of hairspray...

HOMSAR: A bottle of hairspray should be near a lighter. The ozone layers need blankets for the coming winter.
NAMINE: I agree with you.

{Cut back to the E-Mach}

ARUSEUS: {typing} You know, that didn't woik either. Well...Method 3. Forget stealing and save up for a bike! Let's see my funds...{Looks in a wallet

NAMINE: Butterflies come out of the wallet, which is otherwise empty. The very fabric of reality then is shattered by Arceus' colossal stupidity.}

.} Ooh! I know what to get!

{Cut to The Field again, Aruseus is sitting on Red, White, and Banana, Strong Bad is next to him}

ARUSEUS: So...this is all I could buy!?

STRONG BAD: Yep.

ARUSEUS: But I had 100 dollars!

NAMINE: Aren't most bicycles outside of that price range? Last I checked they were around $200 minimum.

STRONG BAD: No...you had 10.

ARUSEUS: WHA!?

STRONG BAD: If you did have 100 dollars, you could buy everyone's bikes!

NAMINE: How badly could Arceus be at math?

ARUSEUS: Well, I didn't. So this is the bike I have. More like bike seat. It's very painful...

STRONG BAD: Well...you've got a small butt.

ARUSEUS: You've got a big one.

STRONG BAD: Oh you are asking for it!

NAMINE: Asking for what?

{Strong Bad kicks Aruseus, Aruseus falls over}

STRONG BAD: Oh crap... {runs off}

{Cut back to E-Mach}

ARUSEUS: Ow...painfull

NAMINE: painful

memory...anyways, {starts typing} Yeah. Go with method one. Or two. But not three. Unless you have a bajillion dollars. Man...you could buy a really cool bike with that money! Well, bye. Man, feels good to be checking an email again...

{The Paper comes down, five seconds later}

{Tom runs in flailing his arms wildly with a playbill for Butt's Twelve By Pies taped to his face}

TOM: Aagh! It's the exorcism of Emily Rose! {runs off}

ARUSEUS: Wha!?

NAMINE: My sentiments exactly.

{Zoom in on the screen}

Easter Eggs

• Click on "Mii" to see a Mii of Aruseus that I made. (Picture sometime)

NAMINE: "You definitely got me and my gigantic Nintendo boner pegged quite nicely, Cyrus."

• Click on "Aruseus' Many Methods of Bike Thievery" To see a book with that title. The picture on the book is a chibi drawing of Aruseus with a bike in his hands.
• Click on "bajillion" at the end to see a bajillion dollar bill, with Aruseus on the front, its value is "something" and it says "In Pie We Trust" at the bottom.
• Click on "cool bike" at the end to see a scene.

{Cut to the 20X6 Field, Aruseus, holding a wallet, is talking with Anthruseus, and a hoverbike is behind him}

ANTHRUSEUS: Now for the low, low, price of 1 bajillion dollars!

ARUSEUS: It's a deal!

NAMINE: "Even though the hoverbike is severely overpriced!"

Fun Facts

Soon.