Zarel Emails/46

Zarel E-Mail #46

Zarel recovers a stolen flute.

Cast (in order of appearance): Zarel, Bubs, Fang, Homestar Runner, The Cheat, The Goblin

Places: The Roomy-Vac, Bubs' Concession Stand, The Field, The King of Town's Grill

Transcript

ZAREL: {singing} Email-hee, email-hoo, email-ha, emai-

{a gunshot is heard, accompanied with a black screen saying: "SCENE TOO GRAPHIC FOR STANDARDS". The screen flashes back to the Roomy-Vac, empty again.}

??????: Now that that's through...

{Aruseus enters on the scene, taking Zarel's place at the Roomy-Vac}

ARUSEUS: Let's get down to business here.

Hey aruseus!

Can you please help me out? The cheat took my flute for some ceremony, and now, if I come within 4 feet of him, he clonks me with it!
Hoping you can help me out,
Zoo977
P.S. Sorry about bringing albino to your 100^th email party. Next time, warn me if there's anything with sugar.

{Aruseus, instead of reading the postscript, just says; "Some stupid crap stuff."}

ARUSEUS: {typing} Listen, Animal Enclosure. I hardly know a thing about my 100th email party, nor am I your {bleep}ing errand boy. Hey, where'd that sound come from? What, I can't say {bleep}? Meh, whatever. Anyway, I'm not doing it for you. Your email has too much Homestar Runner in it, so I'm instead going to chill with my entourage of cameo characters. Isn't that right, Moonbase Astronaut?

{Pan out to see someone in an astronaut costume.}

ASTRONAUT: John Madden.

ARUSEUS: Words well spoken. Let's move on.

{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand, Aruseus and the Astronaut arrive on the scene, Guts Man stands behind the counter.}

GUTS MAN: How goes, buddy pal?

ARUSEUS: Oh, you know. Stuff.

ASTRONAUT: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

ARUSEUS: What?!

{Cut to a shot of the field, what appears to be a large black tower rising from the ground, with dramatic music. Cut to a brief shot of Homestar in the field that literally lasts a second.}

HOMESTAR: Words!

{Cut back to Aruseus}

ARUSEUS: It's the ultimatum again! Takuya Rasmuson's sacrifice will not be in vain! {Aruseus runs toward it} I'M COMING BUDDY!

{cut to a black screen that displays the following words, as the Mega Man 1 credits theme plays}

Aruseus' sacrifice was remembered across the nations.

Many mourned his fall.

And...

Oh, to the backside of Mars with this. April Fools, crapsacks!

{Cut to the King of Town's Grill, turns out everyone was just wearing elaborate costumes the whole time. Bubs was Guts Man, Fang was the astronaut, Zarel was Aruseus, and The Cheat is holding a flute, which is shaped like the Ultimatum Tower}

BUBS: Hey, Zarel. Something crossed mine and Fang's mind while we were performin' that act!

ZAREL: Yeah? What's that?

FANG: If you were Aruseus...then who was the Zarel that "got shot?"

{They turn to see another Zarel who unzips the costume to reveal The Goblin}

ALL: Goblin!

{The Goblin does his dance and his tune plays.}

{The Paper comes down}

Trivia

• Zarel's email song at the beginning is a direct copy of the first Aruseus' Emails song.
• The ending is pretty much a parody on Pumpkin Carve-nival.
• The email is meant to take the piss out of Aruseus emails even more, poking fun at the bull honkey plots, random cameos, and stupid drama; though I figured you knew that.