(even if you aren't vegan)
Zarel Emails/43
Zarel E-Mail #43
Zarel shares some dirt on others.
Cast (in order of appearance): Zarel, Pter, Foxx, Strong Bad, The Cheat, Fang (Easter egg), Coach Z (Easter egg)
Places: The Roomy-Vac, Pter's Room, The Foxxhole (Outside and Inside), Marshmallow's L'est Stand (Easter egg)
Transcript
ZAREL: {sings} Deck the halls with email hollies, it's not even close to Decemberween!
subject: secrets!Dearest Zarel,
Kirbychu
Secrets are fun, are they not? I love
a good secret! Would you share with
me some of your best kept secrets? They can
range from the deepest darkest ones to even
irrelevant little funny things that might’ve been
embarrassing for you or for others.
Go on then! I’m really interested in hearing these
embarrassing juicy secrets! I have a better idea,
let’s share secrets together!
Secretly secrets,
ZAREL: {before reading} Woah! This is too long. Let's trim it down, shall we? {Zarel types: "run_edgasrhedgetrimma.exe", which opens "Edga Sr's Hedge Trimma Document Trimma". A little pixel man comes by and trims down the email until it says the following}
subject: secrets!Dearest Zarel,
Kirbychu
Would you share with me some of your best kept secrets? They can range from the deepest darkest ones to even irrelevant little funny things that might’ve been embarrassing for you or for others.
I’m really interested in hearing these embarrassing juicy secrets!
Secretly secrets,
ZAREL: Much better! {reads email} There, not a run-on email anymore! {typing} Well, well, well, Kirbychu, you wanna know some dirty secrets about me? Too bad. Here's some dirty secrets about everyone else though. Join me on an extra magical journey, as we dig up some dirt on people for a good laugh.
{Zarel leaves. Cut to Pter's room, Pter is playing some Super Nintendo game.}
ZAREL: We begin with the half-a-thingy.
PTER: How'd you get in here?
ZAREL: Now let's meet this guy's better half...or should I say, his "flavorite" stuffed animal?
PTER: Hey, don't you be dissing Lil' Steffie!
ZAREL: Pfff..."Lil' Steffie?" What a name!
PTER: {drops controller} Why you... {Pter gets up and shoves Zarel offscreen, and you can hear them fighting. Lil' Steffie drops onto the bed with a squeak}'
ZAREL: {between blows} Ow! You hit hard! Son of a...Did you just kick me?
{Cut to outside The Foxxhole. Zarel has a couple of bumps and bruises}
ZAREL: And now we bring ourselves to the Foxxhole. {kneels down} It's approximately two o'clock, so right now Foxx would be beginning his exercise regimens. Or should I say...
{Zarel thrusts his head into the ground. Cut to the Foxxhole, Zarel's head bursts through the ceiling}
ZAREL: Slacking regim-huh?
{Foxx is jump-roping in place}
FOXX: {slightly panting} Oh! Sup, Zarel?
ZAREL: I could've sworn you slacked off!
FOXX: What? No, that's at three o'clock! Two o'clock is when {his speech becomes slightly muffled in the next cut} I start on my cardio and-
{Cut to outside the Foxxhole again, Zarel's got his head stuck in the ground, and the way he's bent over exposes his heart-shaped boxer shorts. Strong Bad and The Cheat walk by}
STRONG BAD: Hey, Zarel! Busy being an ostrich? Ooh, what's this?
ZAREL: {muffled} Strong Bad? {cut back to the inside of the Foxxhole again, where Zarel's speech is clear} Is that you? Wait, what're you doing with my pants?
{Cut back, Zarel's pants are pulled down by The Cheat}
THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises sounding like "Ah-hah!"}
STRONG BAD: Woah! Secret gold! Zarel's a-wearin' classic cartoon heart shorts for underwears!
{The Cheat begins to giggle}
ZAREL: {muffled} Hey! Leave my underwear alone!
PTER: Zarel! What a pair of underwear you have!
{They all start laughing}
ZAREL: {muffled} Shut up about my underwear!
{Cut back to the Roomy-Vac}
ZAREL: {typing} So there you go, Kirbychu. Pter still sleeps with a Steffie, Foxx slacks on threes, and Strong Bad's an ostrich. And I totally do not wear lame, heart-print boxer shorts. I wear cool, heart-print boxer shorts. Oh and Fang and Coach Z are totally dating. No foolin'. Bye.
{Zarel leaves and The Paper comes down.}
Easter Eggs
- Click on "ostrich" to see a drawing on a Post-it note of Strong Bad as an ostrich, with the writing: "totes an ostrich!" on it.
- Click on "dating" for an extra scene.
Easter Egg Transcript
{Cut to Marshmallow's L'est Stand, Coach Z and Fang are sitting there. Both have a serving of French fries before them}
FANG: This is highly violating my medical degree.
COACH Z: Ah, can it and pay for this food! I'm boltin' on the cherck!
{Fang raises a finger to say something, but Coach Z runs off, leaving Fang just looking around awkwardly}
Trivia
- Lil' Steffie refers to Stephie, the creator of an apparently "new character" for Homestar Runner made a long time ago. Zarel calling it his "flavorite" refers to the description.
