(even if you aren't vegan)
Zarel Emails/42
Zarel E-Mail #42
Zarel comes up with a catchphrase.
Cast (in order of appearance): Zarel, Bubs, Pter, Foxx, Strong Bad, Marzipan
Places: The Roomy-Vac, Bubs' Concession Stand
Transcript
ZAREL: {sings} Oh, I'd be out there on the streets, and that life wouldn't be neat, that's where I'd be, if I didn't have you...e-mail!
subj: catchphraseDear Zarel!
Whats your catchphrase? Strong bad and Homestar have one, why not you?
Da Dude
ZAREL: {typing} A catchphrase? Zarel needs no catchphrase. I mean I can still be cool without saying something like, "something something e-mail. Holy crap." or, "something something stupid. Sewiously." all the time. {clears screen} Besides, I can point out three reasons not to have a catchphrase! First off, once they catch on, people will try to market the bejabbers out of them! Take Bubs for example! He's been trying to pinch pennies off of Homestar's material for years now!
{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand, he's selling a bunch of t-shirts that say "something something stupid, sewiously" on them. Homestar is at the stand, looking annoyed}
BUBS: Step right up, everybody, everybody! Get your brand new Homestar catchphrase t-shirts!
HOMESTAR: No no, you're off! It's "Something something stupid, that's bupkis!" I dropped off of "Sewiously" years ago! I'll take three of those sweet shirts though!
BUBS: Sold!
{Cut back to the Roomy-Vac}
ZAREL: {typing} Problem number two, is that when you make a catchphrase-
PTER: Zarel, I found this at your doorstep. {hands him a package} Just thought I'd get your mail for you.
ZAREL: Well, slap my buttocks and call me Failure to Launch! It's probably my new...wait a second.
PTER: What?
ZAREL: Did I just...did I just say something...catchphrase-worthy?
PTER: "Slap my buttocks and call me Failure to Launch?"
ZAREL: Yeah, that but...what if we change it up each time? Like..."Punch my nose and call me Pacific Rim".
PTER: Your catchphrase, dude.
ZAREL: Do you know what this means, Pter? I've found my calling! I'm go off to let my new-found wings spread!
{Zarel runs off in glee. Pter looks in confusion.}
{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand again.}
ZAREL: Hey, Bubs! Got any more of those shirts?
BUBS: All sold out!
ZAREL: Well kick my feet and call me True Grit, you're pulling my leg here!
BUBS: Sorry, Zarel! Come back later, and I may or may not have a new shipment of them!
ZAREL: Alright. I'll go see what else is up. Got me a new catchphrase, itching to test it out.
BUBS: Ooh! I could make a shirt out of it! {Zarel glares} Or not.
{Zarel nods and leaves. Cut to The Stick with Foxx and Strong Bad}
STRONG BAD: No, it's like, he was partially taped to Pom Pom that time-{notices Zarel} Oh, hey Zarel! How's...life?
ZAREL: Fine, I guess?
STRONG BAD: {slightly laughing} Well lick my face and call me Marley and Me! That's good to hear!
ZAREL: Wait, did you just...
FOXX: {chuckling} Well sniff my armpit and call me Toy Story 2, he's found us out!
ZAREL: {groan} Come on, when you guys say it it's not as cool.
FOXX: Well-
ZAREL: Stop. I'm outta here.
{Zarel leaves. Cut to the Field, where he passes by Marzipan}
MARZIPAN: Ooh! There's Zarel! Say the line!
ZAREL: UGH. Thank you, Marzipan, for giving my third reason to not have a catchphrase. Oh and I have a date with your gazebo post in two emails from now.
{Cut back to the Roomy-Vac}
ZAREL: {typing} There you have it, Dudebert. The three reasons why I will never ever have a catchphrase again. 1. People will try to market it. B. People will try to say it in front of me to sound cool. And lastly, people will try to get me to say it like it's some rich molasses being poured down their ears. Anyway, I'm outta here.
{Zarel leaves, and The Paper comes down}
Easter Eggs
- Click on "market" to see a T-shirt with "Well <verb> my <body part> and call me <movie title>." on it.
Trivia
- Zarel's email song references "If I Didn't Have You" from Quest For Camelot.
