Zarel Emails/10

This email has been re-written as of 2014. To view the original, click here.

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Zarel E-Mail #10

Zarel describes his dream house, and something happens to the Cappy.

Cast (in order of appearance): Zarel, Strong Bad, Strong Sad, Homestar

Places: Zarel's House, The Field

Transcript

{Cut to Zarel's Room}

ZAREL: Checkin' emails up, checkin' emails down, checkin' emails right here from all around!

subj: dream house

Zarel:

If you could make yourself a dream house, what would it have in it?
Like special rooms and stuff.

Sincerely yours,

The thing

ZAREL: Oooh, solid concept. {typing} Well, I'm not the kind of dude who is picky about his house. I like my house the way it is! But...I guess I could put some thought into how to improve it. Maybe I'll just come up with the "special rooms and stuff" you mention and add them to my house!

{Cut to a zoom-out of Zarel's house}

ZAREL: {voiceover} First of all, out of all things I would most definitely want; a pool. I would so want a pool.

{A pool appears beside his house}

ZAREL: {voiceover} Pools are always a great add-on to any house! Perfect for gatherings of your friends, family, or fremily!

STRONG BAD: Yo, lemon drink!

{Cut back to Zarel's room}

ZAREL: I...ugh, y’know what, why do I bother asking anymore...

STRONG BAD: So you're coming up with a dream house, huh?

ZAREL: Yes, that I am. Why are you asking me?

STRONG BAD: Well I have the best idea for something for your little dream house.

ZAREL: Are we like...getting a raise every time we say "dream house?"

STRONG BAD: I hope so. I'd-dream house-love a good raise every now and-dream house-then. But enough references to my show. I suggest you install-

ZAREL: No, Strong Bad, we can’t add a laser shark dungeon.

STRONG BAD: Let me finish! I think you should add a wrestling ring! Y’know, for wrestle men and their wrestle wives and their wrestle babies!

ZAREL: A wrestling ring, huh? Interesting thought.

STRONG BAD: See? I can be practical. Though a laser shark dungeon would be cool.

ZAREL: Hey, why don’t we both give ideas? I give one, and then you give one!

STRONG BAD: Like a collaborative dream house? Not a bad idea! I'm down with that.

ZAREL: Okay...so I suggest...a rave room. That'd be cool!

{During the previous line, the screen fades out to black. "A few minutes later" appears onscreen. Fade into the Field. Zarel and Strong Bad are standing on a box, a larger square-shaped object is hidden behind a covering}

STRONG BAD: Ladies...er...lady...and gentlemen! Strap your belts into your underwears; I give you...Zarel and Strong Bad's Hangout Club Spot Dream House Hotel!

{Zarel pulls off the curtain revealing an etching of the house concept on a large board}

ZAREL: Er...the concept for it!

ZAREL: This house-tel has it all! A swimming pool, a wrestling ring, a rave room, a-

{Strong Sad raises his hand}

STRONG SAD: Um...I'd hate to be a buzzkill, but-

STRONG BAD: Oh, great. Horton is going to say something depressing to make us drop this concept.

STRONG SAD: ...we already have all those! Club Technochocolate, we have a Swimming Pool, the Gymnasium has a wrestling portion...

ZAREL: {sigh} Way to blow our dream house down the toilet, Strong Suck.

STRONG SAD: It’s what I’m best at!

STRONG BAD: You wanna know what I’m best at? {pulls out bazooka} BAZOOKA!

{Strong Bad fires a rocket at the screen and it fades to white. Fade back to the Cappy}

ZAREL: {typing} Gah. Stupid Strong Sad ruining everyone's dreams. Why can't he just leave our dream house alone? Y'know, that's why I hate that kid...that's why everyone hates-

{Zarel suddenly gets eletrocuted and the Cappy's screen fades to black}

ZAREL: YEEOW! W...woah, what the?! How'd that happen? {looks down}

{Cut to a shot of Zarel's feet. The Cappy's power cord is torn and sparking}

ZAREL: Aw man...I must've cut the cord with my foot claws by accident! Note to self...either keep Cappy cord off of floor or detach feet before checking email. Oh well. The Paper? Take us home.

{The Paper comes down. 5 seconds later, a truckload of money is dumped on Zarel}

ZAREL: WAAAAARGGGHH!!

HOMESTAR: {offscreen} Alright, now to deliver Strong Bad's raise!

{A truck horn honks twice}

Fun Facts

• Zarel asking if he gets paid every time he mentions the words "dream house" refers to Strong Bad Email: mini-golf. Strong Bad even breaks the fourth wall when he states it's a reference to his email.
• Horton refers to an elephant of said namesake of the Dr. Seuss book, Horton Hears a Who.
• The idea involving the incident with the power cord was from when a similar thing happened to me; my laptop's power cord got worn out and I had to get a new one.
• Don't worry, the Cappy isn't gone...yet.