(even if you aren't vegan)
Wikimon/Gaslay City
City containing Gaslay Gym and a contest.
Chat
BLING: Hmm... Nice. Better than my hometown... {Shiceus releases itself} Ohhh crap.
SHICEUS: Shiceus shi SHICE!
BLING: ...Um... {grabs Shiceus, feeds him some Babelfish sushi} There. Now, speak English.
SHICEUS: I don't like you. {runs into shop, runs out as a Kaabius}
BLING: ...You evolved that quickly?
SHICEUS:{a Kaabius costume falls off of him} What do you mean?
BLING: ...Oh. Get back in the Pokeball, Shiceus.
SHICEUS: I NO WANNA. {bites Bling's hand}
BLING: ...Ow. {hand starts bleeding} ...Um... {looks around, sucks blood} Mmm.
SHICEUS: Great. I get the psychopathic trainer...
JOSEPH: Bling? When did you get here? It's been so long! You do remember me, right?
BLING: Oh yeah! Joseph! What's up?
JOSEPH: I caught a Haseo doll.
{Haseo climbs on his head.}
HASEO: Hiya!
LEE: Hey Joseph. Hello, ummm, who are you?
RIOLU: {comes out of pokeball} Ri!
LEE: My Riolu came back. Listen Joseph, we need some help near the meteor site. You wanna come?
BLING: I'll help! {Shiceus runs off} ...As soon as I get Shi back.
SHICEUS:{runs back to Bling} Okay, nevermind. As long as I have Shi as a name, I'll stay with ya.
{Bling and Shi leave, and come back a while later. a Pachirisu runs out of a store, carrying a box labeled "Magicarp Sushi"}
OLD WOMAN:{sticks head out of store} COME BACK HERE, YOU BEAST!
PACHIRISU: Pachi!
BLING: ...Well, THAT'S ironic. I'm looking for a Pachirisu. Shi! Use bite on Pachirisu!
SHI: Right! {latches onto the Pachirisu}
BLING:{grabs box from Pachirisu's mouth, gives to old woman} Here you are, ma'am. So, is this your Pa-
OLD WOMAN: NO, OF COURSE NOT! THAT LITTLE BEAST HAS BEEN STEALING MY CUSTOMERS' FOOD FOR WEEKS! TAKE HIM, PLEASE!
BLING: Good. Now! Shi! Let go and use Hypnosis!
SHI: You got it! {lets go of the Pachirisu and uses Hypnosis on it} There! {runs back to Bling}
BLING: Great job, Shi! Now! Go, Pokeball! {throws a pokeball at the Pachirisu and catches it} Alright! I got... {cue stupid Ash catching scene} ...A Pachi-
SHI: DON'T YOU DARE.
BLING: Right. Sorry. {releases the Pachirisu, feeds it some Babelfish sushi} Hello, little Pachirisu. I'm your trainer, now. You are now named Huin. Understand?
HUIN: Yeah. {smells the Pokefood in Bling's backpack} FOOD!!!!!!! {jumps into Bling's backpack, eats some of it} Mmm!
BLING: Heh. {to old woman} He was stealing your food because he was hungry.
OLD WOMAN: I KNOW. HECK, LET 'EM STARVE! THESE LITTLE MODERN-DAY POKEMON DON'T DESERVE TO EAT.
BLING: ...Shi. Use Bite on Stubborn Old Woman.
SHI: Right. {bites the old woman's arm, causing her to let go of the Magikarp sushi. The box falls to the ground and breaks open. Huin jumps down and eats the box's contents}
BLING:{waits until Huin is done eating, then picks him and Shi up and walks off}
OLD WOMAN:{from the distance} DARN YOU NEW TRAINERS! DARN YOU!
LEE: {staring at the action} Wow. i didn't know this place had sushi. And I don't think pokemon should eat it. It makes them talk but also harms their evolutions.
BLING:{walks back} Well, for one, that sushi I fed my Pokemon was specially designed by me so it will not harm them. And, Pachirisu don't evolve, so, I don't see a problem with Magikarp sushi. It's MAGIKARP. Pidgeot eat them, and they seem fine.
LEE: What about Shi? He talks, and he evolves.
BLING: That's what I meant. I expected the evolution to not take place, so I prepared the Babelfish sushi to be completely unharmful to Pokemon. Besides, Shi didn't eat any Magikarp sushi. Huin ate it all. {a Fater fades in behind him} Oh, I see one of my clones caught a Fater. So, what did he name you?
FATER: I am Unmei.
BLING: Ah. I see. Welcome to the pack, Unmei.
LEE: You know how long and hard I had to work to have Elementias get to speak healthfully? I had to go up a mountain, beat a level 100 Lucario and level 100 Mew and this was all with a level 45 Ele! {storms off}
BLING: Hey, don't feel bad! Proper Babelfish sushi is EXTREMELY hard to get! ESPECIALLY if you don't know the coordinates for the H2G2 universe! IT TOOK ME TWENTY-FIVE YEARS JUST TO FIND THERE! Then I had to search out the Milky Way Galaxy and obtain forty-two Babelfish! Then I had to cut them into sushi with nearly impossibly high concentration! Then I had to break down it's molecular structure VERY carefully, implant a gene extracted from a Celebi into a virtually invisible strand of DNA, and then repair the structure of the sushi with my bare hands! I couldn't use my reality-bending powers because they would mess up the procedure!
LEE: If you're so good go to the gym. {continues storming off}
YURI: Finally, Gaslay City. {notices Bling} Oh, Hey Bing! How's it going.
BLING: Erm, who are you?
YURI: I am Yuri Lee. Soviet Comrade General. You used work for me. Remember? Cold War? We invaded most of Europe. You shot a guy in his {bleep.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm the Homestaw Wunnew. I am hewe to get my Squiwtle weady fow the champeenship.
BLING: Oh yes, now I remember. Hey, Yuri. {notices homestar} Wh-why are you here? The Pokemon regions are provinces of Wiki City.
