Wikihood III/eps/8

Episode 8 - "The Bomb"

Synopsis

CAST: Strong Sader/Strong Saed, Kyves, Sephiroth/Unholy Sephi, Raiku/Rai, Homestar/Homsar, Legion, Pizzabeast, Ekul/Drakul, Meek Sader, Conchris, Will

Transcript

{Open to the wasteland. Strong Saed staggers around disorientated.}

STRONG SAED: Whoa... What happened?

KYVES: UUPR stole your power. I elected to stay and look after you while everyone was gone fighting it. Unholy Tracy and Ekul are fighting it, I think. I'm not sure where Unholy Sephi is.

STRONG SAED: {Summons a small spark of electricity} Well, at least my electrical abilities aren't gone. Where's Meek Sader, though?

{Unholy Sephi flies in.}

UNHOLY SEPHI: It's bad, very bad... Pizzablob has increased in size tenfold.. Come quickly...

{Raiku walks in.}

RAIKU: Hey guys!

{Pizza Blob atacks him, stealing his gunblade and wings. Rai is on the ground}

RAI: OW!

{Pizzablob roars behind them. He has Homestar in his grip.}

HOMESTAR: Ow, ow, ow. This is not how I spend my Fridays.

{Pizzablob absorbs Homestar's sanity, turning him into Homsar. Pizzablob becomes Unholier Unholyku Pizzetroph.}

PIZZABLOB: Hmm... All this power is probably enough to support me now.. {The Pizza part of him flies out, as the fusion settles into a separate being.} Unholier Unholyku Pizzetroph is a dumb name. You may call me Legion. Or your doom.

PIZZABEAST: {While flying away} Legion, deal with these pests. I have something to retrieve...

UNHOLY SEPHI: I'm starting to hate Pizza now.

STRONG SAED: Me too. He's just annoying now...

{OOC: Should we kill Pizzabeast and keep Legion or keep both?}

{OOC: Pizzabeast could die, and Legion could get himself involved with the LOE?}

STRONG SAED: Oh, no you don't!

{Strong Saed fires a bolt of electricity at the Pizzabeast. He conbusts and falls into the ruined city.}

UNHOLY TRACY:{wakes up} What. ...I have a strange feeling that I should be going after this Strong Sader shaped-person with my head, an underbite, and Seph's clothing.

{Legion appears right in front of Unholy Tracy and grabs him by the neck.}

LEGION: You thought right. Punk.

UNHOLY TRACY: ... {becomes Ungodly Amalgamation} I have four words for you, you freak. Wibblitty wibb wibb wibble. {explodes into a grey gas, which transforms into a large, black fire. its center is red, and it's surrounded by a purple aura.

{Legion snaps his fingers and negetates Unholy Tracy's powers. He's unaffected by everything UT throws at him..}

LEGION: That all you got? But anyway, I am the freak? No... I am the perfection.

{Legion spawns a bunch of Legion Bell Clones, all of them wearing different outfits that Sephiroth has worn so far, each resembling a different part of Strong Sader's personality with different underbites and hats..}

HOMSAR: Well, I may just trash my basket, Knicks.

LEGION: Well, I hate to hang around. So let my clones handle you all. {Transports away. As he fades, he says this.} Now, about this LOE I keep hearing about...

EKUL: Oh great. Strong Saed, Unholy Tracy, Sephiroth, Kyves- everyone basically- I'll hold them off as Drakul, but I need you to stay far away from me while I fight these guys, or I might try to kill you. I think that if I kill these guys, I'll probably be able to take over my body again.

STRONG SAED: {To the others} Come on, maybe if I can get me and Sephi's physical readouts from the simulation we can recover some of the DNA we lost to Legion.

RAI: I can help hold off the clones, I am the devil's son.

SEPHI: {Pulls out a huge minigun.} I'll be able to handle them..

{Strong Sader makes a dash for the fortress, Rai and Sephi ready themselves to take on some clones.}

EKUL: You know guys, I can't turn into Drakul with you guys around. Drakul isn't exactly the most friendly guy around.

STRONG SAED: Drakul is unkillable, he's undead and ultra powerful, if we get to the fortress he may not follow us, so we need to get inside.

HOMSAR: I'm leapin' on the batmobile. {Follows Strong Saed}

UNHOLY SEPHI: Yeah... Maybe not. {Runs towards Strong Saed.} AND BY THE WAY, MY ANCESTOR WAS A VAMPIRE HUNTER!!!

{Strong Saed, Unholy Sephi, Rai, Homsar and Kyves run for the fortress. They clamber onboard.}

STRONG SAED: I hope that Ekul doesn't lose control of Drakul, again. Last time he nearly escaped the simulation.

UNHOLY SEPHI: Well, I know what to do if it does happen. {Gets out a box.}

STRONG SAED: If push comes to shove, we may have to detonate the antigravity drive and destroy the area as Ekul suggested. If we can bury Drakul deep enough we might be rid of him forever.

UNHOLY SEPHI: But wouldn't that also kill Ekul?

KYVES: I think what Ekul is planning to do is force Drakul to fight the clones, and then when that personality is tired out, take over his body again. After all, Ekul has most of his mind at his side and Drakul is just by himself. Uh, but that still doesn't explain why he was in so much control during the simulation...

STRONG SAED: Ekul's a hologram, so I may be able to override Drakul through the simulation if we need too. But, if I have to, there's a risk we may corrupt Ekul's personality, too.

{Out in the wasteland, Ekul prepares himself to unleash Drakul.}

EKUL: Okay... here it goes. HRAAAAA!

{Ekul strains for a second, and then black fire overtakes Ekul. He turns into Drakul once more.}

DRAKUL: Gah! ...Oh. I see what this is. An army full of guys and I'm the distraction. It's time to try out the soul I absorbed

{Drakul starts flying}

DRAKUL: Yes... Homsar's powers are mine! The laws of physics mean nothing to me now! HA HA HA HA!

{Drakul takes out Ekul's blue sword and teleport-stabs a Bell-clone, its soul flies into Drakul}

DRAKUL: This soul is weak... it's only a clone of the original. Well, no matter. If I absorb enough of them, I will at least have a good fraction of it!

{The other clones start to rush Drakul... Who disappears and begins rapidly flying across the area and doing incredible casualties. Cut back to the fortress. Strong Saed is examining the newly activated simulation.}

STRONG SAED: Drakul's really going for it. Who know's what his motivation is...

KYVES: I think we should simply be happy that in order for him to get to us, he has to tire himself out by killing these guys.

STRONG SAED: Wait a second... {Types on the simulation keyboard} I've gotten the hologram controls online. Let's see if they're still responsive.

{Strong Saed taps a few buttons. Meek Sader flickers back on.}

SEPHIROTH: What exactly does this machine simulate, anyway?

KYVES: Uh... Eric either made it, or helped make it. It's a simulation of our personalities inside the Homestar Runner universe. Basically, a full virtual reality. However, it tends to damage personalities and over time it strengthens your powers. When Strong Sader and Chwoka went in, their personalities split and they developed into new personalities altogether. Ekul's personality also was weakened to his inner personalities, but they weren't split from him. I guess Drakul could take over because all of Ekul's personalities were weakened enough for him to take over.

SEPHIROTH: Interesting.

KYVES: Are you alright, Meek Sader?

MEEK SADER: {Flickering} I feel like... Pasta...

STRONG SAED: Pizzablob must have caused some corruption to him. If I link myself into the simulation we could initiate a two-way file refresh, restoring both of us.

KYVES: Will that bring your power and personality back to normal?

STRONG SAED: I'm afraid that my resistence to death developed as a biological result of being killed so often in the simulation. I can restore my mind and body, but that's something that Meek Sader didn't inherit.

KYVES: Oh shoot. Well, go ahead and do it, we need all the people we can get.

{Cut back to Drakul. There are dead clones littering the ground, and not one of them has an ounce of power left. Drakul is surrounded by the twenty clones remaining. One rushes to stab Drakul, but he dodges, freezes the clone's torso and slams him into another. He unleashes a firey storm on two more and slashes through two more. Ten run straight at him, guns blazing and he torches a line of fire straight up from the ground. The remaining four rush at all sides and fire their weapons and Drakul, but he teleports behind one of them and stabs them one by one. However, now that they are all dead, Drakul looks visibly tired.}

DRAKUL: N-no... must kill... Strong S-

{Drakul starts to change back into Ekul. Cut back to the fortress. Strong Saed puts a login helmet on and types in a number of commands.}

STRONG SAED: Okay, if this works then the simulation should detect which of my brain patters and physical features are missing for Meek Sader and vice versa, and then copy and paste them into each other.

KYVES: ...hey, I don't hear fighting any more. Hang on a second.

{Kyves looks at a nearby monitor, which shows the outside of the fortress. Ekul/Drakul is laying on the ground}

KYVES: I'm not sure what's happening, but I think Ekul's trying to regain his own mind after Drakul got exhausted.

RAI: What do we do?

UNHOLY TRACY:{walks in} Hey, guys. How long was I asleep?

KYVES: Oh, you know. Throughout a gigantic battle between Ekul and clones of your dad and other various things like that.

UNHOLY TRACY: ...I have no father. I am the fusion between Im a bell and Tracy Bellstrom. Are you referring to Bell, then?

KYVES: I only know what Ekul told me, so probably yes.

(OOC: Hey, I'm an outsider. Can someone fill me in?- Chwoka)

UNHOLY TRACY: Now why would he be fighting-OH, OF COURSE! Kyves, your facts are even farther from the truth than I thought. He wasn't fighting clones of my non-existent father, and not even Bell clones. He was fighting the army of Legion-generated clones with my father's likeness.

KYVES: Oh. I see. But they still probably had some form of unholiness ability, but nowhere near yours or Pizzathing's.

{OOC: Okay, quick sum up: That dome we were in? We blew it up and now we're trapped behind a mess of turrets that will destroy us if we get near them. Then, this wierd Pizza thing mutated and is now some sort of power-absorbing maniac. It made an army of clones of one of the characters, so Ekul allowed himself to be taken over by Drakul to kill them. Currently he is recovering, but the Pizza abomination is still alive and at near full strength}

(OOC: Where is the Legion, if we know yet?)

{OOC: Several miles under the dome, but it's impossible to get to because the city is now radioactive.They're planning to do some sort of ritual when Ekul, Kyves and Nived get their bodies back}

(OOC: Did we completely abandon our plans to get in our real bodies?)

{OOC: No, there's just a mess of turrets between us and them.}

(OOC: By "we" I meant the LOE)

{OOC: Oh. our plans involve them getting their bodies first.}

STRONG SAED: Okay, the system's ready, begin file refresh.

{The simulation begins working at maximum power again. On screen is a readout of the progress. An estimation of twenty minutes is shown.}

{Conchris bursts in holding a USB stick, he seems to have been beaten up a few times}

CONCHRIS: {out of breath} Finally... Finally... I found you guys... {stops to take a breath} What happened here?

STRONG SAED: The city and dome have been destroyed, we're surrounded by turrets that are primed to kill us and we're under seige from a pizza-based lifeform with has absorbed some of our DNA.

{A hologram of Will, like, the Star Trek style, with the flickers and sutff, appears.}

WILL: Oh, hey! It's Strong Sader! Okay, I don't have much time, but I've been kidnapped by the LoE, and Darlon keeps trying to find a new way to take over my body permanently. I have no idea where I am, but...help! Oh, I'm also pretty sure it has something to do with the simulation, but that's just a guess...

{Will runs off-hologram.}

STRONG SAED: Kyves, get Ekul we need-

{Strong Saed is stopped in his tracks, the readout on the monitor reads "Data insufficant, transfereing refresh to backup file 'DarkSader001'." Cut to the LoE base.}

DARLON: Dark Sader!

{Zoom out, Dark Sader has an ethernet cable in his mouth.}

DARLON: Put that cable where it belongs!

{cut to FCUSA. Marzipan is playing a song she calls "Where's Homestar?" when suddenly the background changes to that of inside Dark Sader's stomach. She screams.}

DARLON: Who knows what you might be doing!?

{Zoom out, the scene was a thought bubble above Dark Sader's head, who quickly puts the ethernet cable into a SimuChair. Pan right, Will is heavily trapped.}

DARLON: You thought you could get away, didn't you? Well, thanks to that little episode we're accelerating our plans.

DARK SADER: Our plans are coming along as expected, but we recently discovered a plan of the idiots to destroy our turrets by detonating an anti-grav drive. Do we need to take any precausions?

DARLON: Nived has ice powers, right?

{OOC: Wait, does the LoE know that UT switched back to the good side?}

DARK SADER: Er, gravity powers.

{OOC: Yes, they know that UT is good again.}

DARLON: Well, get him off his candy-ass and get him to put immense pressure on everyone until we can perfect the secret weapon... Now, activate the machine!

{Darlon sits down, and the helmets clank down on both their heads.}

DARK SADER: Yes, sir.

{Dark Sader salutes just as him hologram deactivates. Cut back to the fortress. Strong Saed's eyes turn a weird red colour. Meek Sader flickers more before turning into a copy of Strong Sader.}

DARLON: {off-screen} Not that one, you idiot!

{Everything reverts to normal.}

{Cut to the LoE hallway. Darlon pulls a lever which turns off the machine. Dark Sader pops back.}

DARLON: I meant the transfer machine!

{Cut to the transfer machine - Will's restraints are broken.}

DARLON: Look what you've done!

{Suddenly, the blue guy last seen in episode 5 comes in.}

BLUE GUY: {nervous} You wanted me, master?

DARK SADER: {Flickering} Do you mind, blue person? It's not that. That Strong Sader guy is drawing data from me. I'm being forsed back into his head! Please don't make me go ba-

{Dark Sader deactivates again. A Meek Sader hologram is generated to fill the void.}

MEEK SADER: Will? Where am I? What's this place? Who's this red haired fellow here? When will I finish talking? Okay that's my "Who, what where and when" for the day.

{Nived walks back into the room}

NIVED: My readings show we have a security breach. Meek Sader?

{Nived increases gravity under Meek Sader, pinning him down.}

{Rai runs in}

RAI: ICE! {Freezes Nived and frees Meek Sader}

(OOC: How the hell did you get in here?)

{OOC:I am a mary-sue}

{OOC: Okay, I don't care if it's a parody or not, Mary Sues are never ever good in a cooperative fiction}

{OOC: ...You seem to forget that almost EVERYBODY in Wikihood are Mary Sues. Actually, almost ALL characters on the WUW itself are Mary Sues.}

{OOC: So you think that "I get new powers" or "I get there" without explanation is acceptable because everyone does it?}

{Rai disappears in a puff of continuity. Nived and Meek Sader reset to their previous situations.}

MEEK SADER: Nived!? I'm in the LoE base!

NIVED: So you are. Have a nice nap.

{Nived takes out a ball, increases its gravity, and lets it go over Meek Sader's head.}

{Legion teleports in, and looks around the LoE base.}

LEGION: Hmm... So this is where the LoE resides... I guessed well. Paydirt.. {Notices Nived, and looks at him for a second.} Nived, am I right?

{Nived's eyes widen, then he narrows his eyes}

NIVED: Well well well. You remind me of Jerxie. All absorption... no brain. Ciao.

{Nived creates a ball of gravity and burrows underground.}

LEGION: Heh. What a fool. Let's see what I can get from here..

BLUE GUY: Darlon? You asked for me.

DARLON: No I didn't. Now, Legion, ho are you and why do you seem intent on being pointlessly rebellious?

LEGION: What I am doesn't concern you, and I'm here for my own discord. {Pushes Darlon out of the way, and walks on further.}

{Darlon growls and then returns to watching the spying camera. On the screen, Strong Sader's eyes turn red. He gets out of the simulation chair and rus out of the room. Cut to Ekul, who is back to normal, but his hair is still whitish and his eyes are still discolored. He is trying to crawl back into the base.}

EKUL: Somebody... help...

{Strong Sader runs into the wasteland, noticing Ekul.}

STRONG SADER: Ekul, are you okay? Come on, lets get you back inside.

{Strong Sader helps Ekul to his feet and helps him walk to the fortress. On his way, Strong Sader cracks a discreet evil smerk.}

EKUL: Drakul... he has... a secret... about all of my race... I... I wasn't able to figure out what it was...

{Specter comes in.}

SPECTER: Good news! I've been able to install a few more turrets, and I have improved the defense system! Soon we'll be able to go into the front lines! And I've also modified some Nanobots for the purpose of offense!

EKUL: How is the... overload plan going?

STRONG SADER: On schedual last I checked, Specter was nearly done when I last took a look.

EKUL: Good. ARGH!

{Ekul glows, and Doctor McDoctor forms from the newly-fixed simulation}

DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: Oh wow, it appears you have 8% of Legion's soul. Your body is adapting to it.

EKUL: Oh WHAT?! This guy again?!

DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: Where am I? I don't remember being here. Needs must, I guess. Hmm... {Points toward Strong Sader} Seems there's something inside you as well. Something...

STRONG SADER: {slightly irritated} Yes, well we don't have time for this right now. We'll have to trigger this overload.

EKUL: {Gets on his watch} Kyves, make sure everything is in position and prepare to overload! This is not a drill!

DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: Nope, now THIS is a drill! {Draws a Black & Decker power drill}

EKUL: Stop being iwwelivant. Irrelivant. Something's w- wrong with my aws- r's. Wait a second... I have 8% of the legion? So... If I only have 8% of Strong Sader's death- oh, never mind. Everybody ready?

{Cut to the simulation room. Meek Sader's hologram is now a glitchy Strong Sader hologram.}

STRONG SADER: {Intermixed with static} Somethings... wrong.

{OOC: Um, aren't they in the fortress already?}

{OOC: I'd forgotten, I lost track of the transitions and lost the location.}

{Kyves enters the room.}

KYVES: Meek... Strong... Uh... Strong Sader number four, what's wrong?

STRONG SADER HOLOGRAM: I'm not supposed to be here. Instead of repairing me, something new was written into me.

EKUL: Wait a second, Are you the soul of the Strong Sader that's supposed to be in his body?

STRONG SADER HOLOGRAM: I'm Meek Sader. The file refresh pasted something over me which neutralised my better qualities and returned me to my stable state.

{The Simulation stirs, beginning to whir with activity.}

EKUL: Hold on a second, does that mean you're an exact clone of Strong Sader?

UNHOLY TRACY: No, I think it means he's just... Sader. Also, if your 8% legion, then you're 8% Bell. I'm not sure I can trust you with that power.

{zoo is heard yawning. he bursts up through the floor}

ZOO977: Good morning.

EKUL: Well, considering that I now have the power to challenge the beast with all my new power, I don't really think I should give it up just yet. You have my word I'll give the rest of Bell back when we kill the thing that did it.

UNHOLY TRACY: No, it's not that. You will likely use Bell's warping powers to get to Legion. Warping via his powers while conscious will corrupt and likely destroy your mind.

EKUL: I can warp? Well, thanks for the tip. I'll just fly. If my mind gets any more corrupted... I'll probably go really psycho.

ZOO977: Yes, I would like a latte.

{Pizza slithers is.}

PIZZA: Hey guys, what's up?

{Cut back to the LoE hallway.}

THE THING: Wait... what am I doing here?

{Meek Sader is suddenly thrown down the hallway. Nived walks in behind menacingly.}

NIVED: Tell me what happened to Dark Sader!

{Cut to another part of the LoE hallway. The blue guy is walking down it.}

BLUE GUY: {mumbling} After all those deeds I did for him, he could at least say hi. But, if Darlon didn't call me, who did?

{Cut to a view of silhouette watching the blue guy from behind a trash can. Cut back.}

MEEK SADER: I have no idea. You know as well as me that I can't lie. Dark Sader got that part of Strong Sader. I have no clue at all. Even if I did know, I wouldn't share it with you.