Wikihood III/eps/7

Episode 7 - "Necessities of Life"

Synopsis

CAST: Zoo977, Sephiroth, Ekul, Unholy Tracy, Dot, Specter, Nived, Kyves, Strong Sader, Dark Sader, Meek Sader, Specter, Pizza, Pizzablob

Transcript

{Open to the morning following the previous episode. The sun rises over the cannon-riden wasteland, and the fortress now floats in partcially connected segments outside the ruined city. zoo walks in. he now has a magazine}

ZOO977: You don't know what I found in this cities ruins!

{Sephiroth grabs it, and looks pleased.}

SEPHIROTH: Well.. Hello..

ZOO977: Yep! I found old neopets magazines and other products! {picks up the first issue of neopets magazines.}

EKUL: Uh, the city is radioactive and not even remotely safe to go near. Uh... I think you have radiation sickness... And you don't want to touch that magazine.

ZOO977: Theres a special thing called rubber gloves. Honestly. {he suddenly begins glowing a lime green.}

EKUL: Yeah, if you start developing tumors, blindness and baldness... you might want to get treatment.

SEPHIROTH: I've built an immunity. It happens when you survive direct contact with full blown radioactivity. My clothes however... {His clothes rip apart, revealing him in his undies.} I'll be right back. {Leaves.}

ZOO977: Anyways, Im'a go swimming. {climbs down a rope, into a pool in the town. he comes up, now glowing orange} On second thought, I won't.

{Sephiroth comes in dressed like this.}

SEPHIROTH: I got these off Ebay. {Holds up glove.}

{zoo opens a magazine. his eyes widen}

ZOO977: TOUR! TOUR! {crashes through one of the fortress's walls}

{Grey goo comes and fixes the wall.}

SEPHIROTH: Wait.. {Looks. Zoo is on the ground, bleeding.}

ZOO977: Note to self: Never eat a knife in excitment again. {crawshes through another wall.} Oh, wait. {walks in through the hole, walks into the next room through the door}

SEPHIROTH: If you break another wall, I will kill you. First, I'll make you dance.

{zoo breaks the floor with a crow bar, and falls through the hole made}

ZOO977: LOOPHOLE'D!

{Sephiroth grabs him with a fishing net.}

SEPHIROTH: That's it. {Starts spinning around, and then starts dancing. Zoo gets possessed by the dance magic and starts dancing as well. As the dance comes to a stop, Sephiroth ends with his hands in the air. Zoo falls through the hole in exhaustion, as he splats on the ground.} Chamone. Chamone indeed. As I like to say, you've been hit by a Smooth Criminal.

DOT: {walks in} Hey! {kicks him into the cieling, leaves}

ZOO977: {gets up} Yay! {begins to walk into a new room}

SEPHIROTH: Not right now you don't! {Throws some weird glittery substance at Zoo and Dot, which knocks them out.} God... {Throws them in the cupboard, and locks the door. 10 times.

{zoom out to show Unholy Tracy is watching them on a large screen}

UNHOLY TRACY: Hey, guys? Do we even like do anything?

{On the screen, Sephiroth starts talking.}

SEPHIROTH: Hey, Specter, where did Unholy Tracy go? He just left.

SPECTER: He decided to be a Judas and join the LOE.

SEPHIROTH: Damn.

{the cupboard falls off the walls, and out into the destroyed city.}

EKUL: Uh... how is that radiation immunity possible? Radiation basically corrupts your atoms, and atoms don't have immunity. EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!

SEPHIROTH: My atoms already are corrupt. I am pretty much already dead in terms of speaking.

{Cut back to Nived and Unholy Tracy}

NIVED: ...so I'm not sure about everyone else in the LoE, but I build and set up plans and back-up plans. It's Darlon's job to plan out things in the long term and make sure what we do is in the best interest of us. Dark Sader... uh, what do you do again? Oversight and monitoring the enemy, right?

{on the screen, a kaboom is heard. cuts to the city. zoo is blowing up already blown up buildings. cases of dynamite are next to him.}

ZOO977: Yay!

EKUL: There are no buildings left! Let me put it this way... They would have had to survive a nuclear explosion, an eruption of water, a mecha battle and a dome collapse. That's why it's a ruined city.

ZOO977: Well, its fun to watch stuff fly everywhere. Its perfectly safe! {blows up some more ruins. a knife hits him in the head} Ow.

{Kyves holds a scanner over Sephiroth}

KYVES: There seems to be strangely high amounts of metals and metalloids in your body, as well as unusual other materials in your body. Boron... Lithium... Fluourine... phosphorous?

SEPHIROTH: I know. It's the huge amount of chemical reactions I have that keeps me alive.

KYVES: You know, Ekul and I could use the fuel inside your body to attach a bio-cannon on your arm. You'd have to eat a strange array of chemicals to use it though. At least until we find some way to generate those chemicals inside your body

SEPHIROTH: Oh hell no. I'm pretty screwed up as it is thank you.

EKUL: It doesn't sound like you have long to live... Still, you actually might survive better with a little radiation... but it's still a gamble. Is that why you have grey goo?

GILLIGAN: {Walks onscreen}

VAN: Hey guys! I'm back after-

{a random pillar crushes Van, killing him}

VAN: {ghost} Dammit. Well, bye guys. I'm leaving this show. {flies away}

{OOC: Sorry guys, I've been inactive here too long}

{Ekul picks up Van's skull}

EKUL: Alas, poor Van! I knew him, Strong Sader: a fellow of infinite jest...

SEPHIROTH: Actually Ekul, you're wrong. The radioactivity has preserved me, so technically I will live longer. 5 times longer to be exact.

STRONG SADER: On a not-related note, the nanos would have probably finished working on the simulation.

{Cut back to the the fortress. The simulator has been fixed to be better then new. It is now the size of a normal computer CPU rather then the size of a room and is far more streamlined. A number of simulator helmets extend from the back of the machine. The nanobots leave the processor through the fan duct and with their work done, selfdestuct and turn to dust.}

STRONG SADER: The nanobots followed my redesign perfectly. Infact they may even have added a few things. Anyways, I'll start the reboot.

KYVES: Quick question, how will this affect our holograms?

STRONG SADER: Not in any way. Though the efficiency has been increased so you take up less power.

{zoo walks in. planks are now stuck in his legs}

ZOO977: I think I'll stop blowing up ruins now.

EKUL: Perfect, start the reboot.

{Strong Sader presses the simulator's power button. It hums to life and begins ticking away. A DOS inteface screen boots up. Strong Sader begins filling in commands.}

STRONG SADER: I have to get the central programs online manually for the first boot sequence. After that it'll do it itself, but for now I have to teach it how to initialise.

EKUL: Good. Now hurry up, we don't know if the LoE can see what we're doing.

SEPHIROTH: I feel weird. Like we're being watched.

{Zoom into a camera in the corner, where the LOE are looking through. Dark Sader is standing over the monitor, gazing at their activities.}

DARK SADER: God, these guys are boring. At least the global domination plan is on course. Isn't it?

UNHOLY TRACY: ...No?

{on the screen, zoo comes in. he has a quarter of a pineapple filled with dynamite. hes screaming, and jumps back into the city. a bunch of smoke comes up the side of the base for a second. Cut back, Sephiroth starts looking around on the screen, and then spots something. He walks towards the camera, and starts poking it.}

SEPHIROTH: This camera isn't mine...

ZOO977: {offscreen} I'm not sure this squishy red thing is mine, either!

SEPHIROTH: It's a bomb! {Stuffs it in Zoo's mouth, and it explodes.} Spicy.

ZOO977: I mean this thing! {holds up something that resembles a heart}

SEPHIROTH: I am a bit hungry. {Takes a bite out of the heart. Blood starts flowing from his mouth, revealing sharp teeth.} Thank you.

ZOO977: Hm... Was that important for my body?

SEPHIROTH: You don't need all of it. Surely.

MEEK SADER: I'd stay out of the city for now. It's way too dangerous in there at the moment. What with the radiation and structually unsound building foundations.

ZOO977: Whats this? {poking noises are heard. a fountain of blood suddenly shoots up by the base.}

EKUL: Sephiroth... are you a vampire? I've got a vampire soul in my body. It's what enables me to not go insane and destroy everything, apparently.

MEEK SADER: I don't feel comfortable with Zoo blowing stuff up in the city. What with kicking up radioactive dust and whatnot.

SEPHIROTH: No idea. Probably not. I'm resistant to sunlight and Garlic.

{Cut back to the Pizzaborg's former nanos in the ruined city. The lump now appears dead. Cold and decaying as the grey good self-destructs and turns to dust. Inside the outline of a humanoid shape can be seen. Cut back. Strong Sader is still working on the simulation. Kyves runs in, with a worried look on his face, Ekul follows behind}

EKUL: According to fortress scanners, there's a horde of tanks and troops marching this way.

KYVES: We've been spotted! We need to focus our defenses on the garage, everything else is unimportant by comparison. Strong Sader, you're better at combat, so can Meek Sader take over for you?

SEPHIROTH: This fortress isn't meant for combat! {Grabs the camera in the corner, and smashes it. Cut to the LOE. The screen goes fuzzy. Cut back.} Right now we're not in a state for fighting! We need to cloak!

STRONG SADER: I'll go out and check. Meek Sader can take over but he can't fight for me. He's a pure manifestation of my guilt and timidity. If he was forced to kill someone he'd kill himself out of remorse.

EKUL: Strong Sader, he'd be perfect for guarding the garage. Sephiroth, cloak the garage, everybody else can distract them until we get the garage to safety.

{Strong Sader jumps outside and onto the sand below. He looks out toward the duct ploom being kicked up by the tanks and troops. Cut to a camera feed of the same events in the LoE base.}

DARK SADER: Nived, is this your work? With the army and all?

UNHOLY TRACY: I doubt it. They're attacking both them and us!

ZOO977: {on the screen} Why am I just laying here, and not calling for help? {looks directly at the camera} Thats one small helicopter!

DARK SADER: {Groans} We have to make out bugs less visable.

UNHOLY TRACY: ...I just hope he can't see US.

ZOO977: Ride! {tosses up a neopets figurine with glue on it. it apparently hits the top, causing the bug to fall.} Yay! {the camera turns on with a green view.} This is fun! {takes a controler out of his pocket, begins messing with the cameras movement}

DARK SADER: Defence mode!

{The camera fires a high energy laser at Zoo. He is fried.}

ZOO977: Hey! {presses a button on his remote. beeping is heard}

AUTOMATED VOICE ON THE CAMERA: Tentackles wrapped and waiting command

ZOO977: I wonder how secure Jasondows really is.

UNHOLY TRACY: ...What.

ZOO977: I guess I don't need this anmore. {throws a disc behind him. a disc labed "Jasondows: by jason fox" falls in to the actual LoE base.}

{The Fortress disappears from sight. Sephiroth jumps out as it is happening.}

SEPHIROTH: Hey! Tanks! Look!

STRONG SADER: Yes, and I don't recognise the design. It may be some group we haven't encountered yet, but Ekul may know a thing or two about them.

{cut back to the LoE's base}

UNHOLY TRACY: ...? {picks up the disc, jams it in his ice-arm} ...This is just a bunch of badly-made images disguised to look like a great operating system.

NIVED: The tanks are of my design. Nothing outside of the LoE could enter this area, it's too tightly guarded. The troops are mercenaries that I hired. They were getting too cocky down there, so I figured I might as well blow them up a few times.

UNHOLY TRACY: ...Can I destroy some of them? Like that one that's on fire and has spraypainted the image of a {bleep} on the tank?

{Cut back to Sephiroth in front of all the tanks. Everything goes dark, as a spotlight shines on Sephiroth. He starts dancing right in front of the tanks. He ends the dance by shooting at the tanks with a tommy gun.}

SEPHIROTH: DIE $%^&'S!!!

UNHOLY TRACY:{runs in, jumps up, starts shooting at Seph} DIE, MUTHA{BLEEP}!

SEPHIROTH: OH NO YOU DIDN'T JUDAS £$%^!! {Points to a neon sign saying Faulk Truck & Tool, with the tool part being obscured by rubble. He shoots some of the letters off, revealing an offensive message. He points at Unholy Tracy and he looks at it.} Read that!

UNHOLY TRACY: OH YEAH?! WELL HOW ABOUT THIS, THEN! {mind-grabs quite a bit of tanks, warps them into an effigy of someone flipping the bird}

SEPHIROTH: WHY THE HELL DID YOU HAVE TO BE A JUDAS AND JOIN THE LOE? YOU EVEN REVEALED CLASSIFIED INFORMATION TO THEM!

ZOO977: {lying nearby} Why am I still not calling for help?

SEPHIROTH: Time to be a hero Zoo. {Picks up Zoo.} ZOODOKEN!!! {Throws Zoo fullblast at Unholy Tracy. He then walks over to him, and puts a gun to his head.} Tell me.

ZOO977: Tell you what?

SEPHIROTH: Not you Zoo. Tracy.

ZOO977: Oh. {takes out a cd player, puts on headphones, turns on the player}

UNHOLY TRACY: Your entire team is made up of retards! Case in point, Zoo.

ZOO977: HEY! {begins choking UH} I AM NOT A RETARD! WHEN DID RETARTED TURN INTO AN INSULT? WHATS 57 TIMES 490?

UNHOLY TRACY:{kicks Zoo in the nuts} Thank you for proving my point.

SEPHIROTH: Well I can't argue with that fact.. But people like us two, Ekul and Sader, we're not retards. Plus, the LOE aren't any better. a Trio of geeks who have nothing better to do but make things worse for everyone else just because they weren't accepted in childhood? {Cut to a camera feed at the LOE. The members look disgusted in what Sephiroth is saying. Cut back.}

ZOO977: Anyways, I should go fix myself. {begins sinking into the ground} Sink.

{Sephiroth takes Zoo's CD Player.}

SEPHIROTH: Spice Girls? No! {Throws it back to Zoo.}

ZOO977: Eww. Who switched the CD'S? {chucks it back}

UNHOLY TRACY: ...Didn't Ekul and you build Specter? That's one of the reasons I left. Pizzaborg is dying, and it is his fault. He is locked inside Specter, burning to death. He might already be dead. Now tell me, how would you feel if Specter opened up his chest and a soupBy mixture of cheese, bread, tomato sauce, and fried nanobot oozed out of him? You guys have to realize that I'm the only one that can help him. Oh, and, Pizzaborg was fine until Specter was all "O NOES PIZZABOG AM GUNNA ROT I MUST PREEZURVE HEEM" and then he promptly crammed him in his chest.

SEPHIROTH: Keep in mind Specter's AI still isn't fully developed. He has certain quirks. I can try to convince him to give me Pizza to give to you if you come back.

ZOO977: {takes out a neopets figurine. a propeller appears on the top, and it begins flying around, making an annoying loud buzzing noise} Yay!

{Sephiroth shoots the figurine. It falls to pieces.}

UNHOLY TRACY: Hold on, let me check something. {presses a button on ice-arm. a holographic screen pops up. UT presses a few things on it} Hmm... Nope. He's already dead. Congratulations. You just made a wonderful miracle of science spend the last few hours of his life trapped inside a robot THAT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A COOLING FAN if I remember correctly.

SEPHIROTH: What the £$%^ are you talkin' about? HE'S A £$%^in REFRIGERATOR FOR GODS SAKE!! IN FACT, CHANCES ARE HE'S NOT DEAD, BUT FROZEN! {Looks.} YES HE IS. FROZEN. ICY FRESH! SCREW THIS!! {Puts the gun to his own head.}

ZOO977: Don't mind if I do! {puts a straw up to the gun, manages to bring it through the starw. Swallows it} Blech. Rust flavored.

SEPHIROTH: I prefer taking people with me anyway. {A whole cluster of nanobots go around Sephiroth, Zoo, and Tracy.} Now, if you don't cooperate, I'll take you both with me.

ZOO977: Where?

SEPHIROTH: Oh nothing. Taking us 3 on holiday to explosion land while we paint everything a nice shade of red while we do it.

ZOO977: Is that a theme park?

SEPHIROTH: .....{Mumbling} idiot... WHY YES IT IS, WHERE WE GET TO PLAY WITH THE FAIRIES AND SUCH!!

ZOO977: Fairies don't exist! Just ask the magical flying orange panda of happiness!

SEPHIROTH: Ok, I'm being rash. I'll just do this. {Hits Tracy over the head with Zoo, and drags him back into the fortress.}

{Cut back to the fortress. Tracy is now in one of the beds, with restraints on him however.}

SEPHIROTH: I brought Judas back! Specter!

{Specter comes in.}

SPECTER: Yes Seph?

SEPHIROTH: Take pizza out.

SPECTER: Sure.. {Takes the Pizza out, alive and well.}

SEPHIROTH: We'll wait until he wakes up. Until then..

UNHOLY TRACY: Hey, guess what? I've been awake this whole time. You couldn't even crack my bell with Zoo! And, these restraints can't hold me, but I'm not gonna break out of them.

SEPHIROTH: I told you he was alive.

ZOO977: So, when do I mend this hole in me?

SEPHIROTH: Glue.

ZOO977: I said when, not how.

UNHOLY TRACY: Oh? Is he? Let me check. Hey, Pizza!I have three questions for you; How are you feeling? How did you like being trapped in Specter for a few hours? And would you have preferred that I helped instead?

{Ekul comes into the room, slightly scorched}

EKUL: Ouch... I was distracting them all by myself. Where were you gu- wait a second, what's Unholy Tracy doing here?

{Ekul takes his swords out}

UNHOLY TRACY: Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just here to see Pizzaboy.

EKUL: Oh, okay. I feel some responsibility for that.

{Ekul relaxes}

SEPHIROTH: Yeah.

{Pizza thaws out completely. A number of cheesy tentecles ooze from his sides and onely one of his eyes open, the other having malformed.}

SEPHIROTH: It's just like Akira!

{Strong Sader heads over to Pizza. He removes a small piece of cheese that's dangling from him and eats it. He smacks his lips as he samples it.}

STRONG SADER: Hmm... From my reaconing he's mutating from the radiation he encountered out in the city. Without the nanobots to sustain his genetic code the mutation is coming into fruition.

{The Pizza grows in size, as its tentacles starts taking pieces of technology and bringing it into its own system.}

SEPHIROTH: Very much like Akira. We definitely need to isolate it.

PIZZABLOB: Ahhh! It hurts so much... Oh, God...

STRONG SADER: Meek Sader's working on the simulation in the other room. We can't let Pizza absorb the simulation. Specter, can you freeze him to keep him under control?

SPECTER: I'll try. {Tries to freeze Pizzablob, but the tentacles overpower the freezing mechanism of Specter and rip it out of his system.} Crap. We need to get him off this fortress.

STRONG SADER: Wait. {Strong Sader gets some grey goo from a dispenser.} If I can get the nanobots to stablise the mutation and reorder Pizza into a more controllable state, we might find a cure.

SEPHIROTH: I'm not sure about the Nanobots... {The tentacles absorb the Nanobots and start becoming more metallic.}

{Meek Sader enters carrying the simulation.}

MEEK SADER: Hey, guys! I managed to get the simulation started up!

STRONG SADER: Okay, now we have to get the thing to safety from the giant mutating Pizzablob.

{TThe tentacles attempt to couple with the simulation, but Sephiroth throws more Nanobots at them to distract them.}

SEPHIROTH: We need to get it outta here! {Starts pushing Pizzablob off.}

{A small piece of cheese falls off pizzablob which reforms into Pizza as he was before the mutation.}

PIZZA: Yes! I convinced the nanobots my body absorbed to separate my brain from my body and build me a stable form.

MEEK SADER: So now we've got a giant, brainless mutating pizza creature on our hands?

SEPHIROTH: Pretty much.

{The Pizzablob falls off, and lets out a great roar, in which tentacles start eating the tanks.}

SEPHIROTH: Damn!

{The blob begins to destroy and absorb the tanks while being fired on by the assault cannons.}

UNHOLY TRACY:{still strapped to the bed} ...You know I can help, right?

SEPHIROTH: Only if you join us again. I'll let you beat up Zoo.

UNHOLY TRACY: Hmm... Okay, I'll help. {breaks out of the straps} But first... {pulls out a flaming bag of crap, warps off, warps back in snickering} Okay, NOW I'll help. Ahem. HRRRAAAAHH!!!! {clothes turn into a Soul Reaper Captain's uniform, black angel wings soaked in blood appear, eyes turn red, head turns into a skull with tentacles extending from the back. shadow bugs appears and form a sword that looks like this, but black, and with a purple aura around it} TRUE HOLLOW BE-Er-HELL CER-Er... Wh-what am I? I've never seen this before. Hmm... I'll call it... Ungodly Amalgamation. And now for a battle cry before I reduce a beast to cheese-covered calamari. Ahem. DID SOMEBODY ORDER A LARGE HAM?!!!!! {runs towards the pizza-beast}

SEPHIROTH: Try to cause as much destruction to the tanks as well!

{The Pizzablob notices Unholy Tracy, and sends out its tentacles to asbsorb him.}

UNHOLY TRACY: Okay! Hmm... Let's see what i can do... WIBBLE!!!!!!!! {grows as tall as pizzablob, if not taller} FACE THE POWER OF WIBB- {burps, the Pizzablob starts dancing} ...Okay, That's not what I meant to do, but it's good enough. {slices a tentacle off of the pizzablob, eats it, spits it out} Ew. Mushrooms. Oh wait, I was supposed to destroy tanks too. Um... WIBBLESANDWICH.

{Two tanks crash into each other. Pizzablob roars and latchs onto Unholy Tracy. He absorbs his power, reducing him to normal Tracy. The Pizzablob morphs into the shape of Unholy Tracy, with the tentacles.}

SEPHIROTH: My turn! {Puts on Cyber suit, and flies right into the Pizzablob. Starts to shoot razor blades at it. Soon after, the tentacles latch onto Sephiroth, and starts pulling him in.} Crap....

{Unholy Pizza drags in Sephiroth, and absorbs his intellegence. Sephiroth, now Sephi is then tossed aside. It creates the appearence of A cyborg/pizza Sephiroth with Unholy Tracy's Head. Unholy Pizzaroth stirs for a second.}

UNHOLY PIZZAROTH: I will be back... {Flies away}

SEPHI: Whoa... I feel weird.

{Strong Sader runs in.}

STRONG SADER: What the crap was that thing?

SEPHI: Pizzablob. Stay away from it... It will absorb your power... {Pukes offscreen.} And give you nausea.

TRACY:{wakes up} Huh? ...Oh God. I knew this was going to happen eventually. Hold on... {pulls a clone of Bell out, absorbs it, transforms back into Unholy Tracy} THAT'S better.

SEPHI: 'Scuse me.. {Takes out a little syringe, and pokes Unholy Tracy with it. Some of his blood is in there.} Thank you. {Stabs himself with it.} With this, I'm able to replicate your powers for a short time. 1 hour to be exact.

UNHOLY TRACY: So, would that make you Unholy Sephi?

UNHOLY SEPHI: Pretty much, yeah. It's a good thing I borrowed your unholy, as that Pizzathing stole my Roth. HE STOLE MY ROTH DAMNIT! THE ROTH IS THE SOURCE OF ....ME!

ZOO977: So, where's the grey goo? It's not comfortable having a gaping hole in you.

UNHOLY TRACY: And my unholy is technically my fath-OH GOD. PIZZABLOB HAS MY FATHER'S BODY INSIDE HIM. WE HAVE TO STOP HIM.

EKUL: A thing that absorbs powers, eh? Sounds kinda like Jerxie. And Darkul. Well, all the best enemies absorb your power. I guess we'll have to kill it for good this time.

STRONG SADER: The Pizza creature must be absorbing the DNA of others to rectify the mutations in it's own genetic code. It may well strike again soon.

UNHOLY SEPHI: Well, we should be worrying about the tanks. Let me try... EXPLODING SEPHIROTH GHOST CLONES!!! {Spits out some Sephiroth Ghost clones from his mouth.}

GHOST CLONE: When I grow up, I want to be a terrorist! Whee!!! {Flies into one of the tanks, and explodes.}

{Having been mostly destroyed by Ekul and Unholy Tracy's efforts and with Unholy Sephi's new help the tank army retreats back behind the turrets}

MEEK SADER: The fortress is still standing... er, floating, but it seems a bit crippled. Pizzablod asorbed the grey goo cache, so we'll need to repair it ourselves.

KYVES: Bad news: the flotation grid is destabilized. It would be incredibly dangerous to repair without nanobots...

EKUL: I have an idea. We take the fortress to one side of the city and overload the flotation device. This will cause a massive pulse that will blast the remains of the city into the turrets on the other side. Then, the radioactive wasteland will be blown full force into the turrets, destroying both any remains of the city and the turrets that are hit. Then we can just walk through.

STRONG SADER: That plan is AWESOME! Lets do it!

MEEK SADER: All in favour?

{Strong Sader and Meek Sader raise their hands.}

UNHOLY TRACY:{raises hand} Aye.

SPECTER: By my calculations the fortress will need to be reinforced before we try it, or we could lose it. Best case scenario only 40% of the fortress will be intact. However, this plan should eliminate our obstacles easily. I'm in.

STRONG SADER: If we're going to undertake such a venture I'll need to get the simulation to safety. I'll go get it now.

{Strong Sader heads off into the fortress. Meek Sader's hologram flickers with static.}

MEEK SADER: {Crackely, slowing voice} I, fee-ee-l... weird...

{Meek Sader shuts down completely. Inside the fortress, Unholy Pizzaroth messes with the simulation with some nanobots. Strong Sader enters, catching him.}

STRONG SADER: {Prepares his electrical powers} You!

{Strong Sader lunges at the creature. It dodges and rams one of its tentecles into the back of his neck and absorbs his resistence to death. Unholier Pizzaroth gains Strong Sader's eyes and legs. He leaves Strong Saed lying on the floor knocked out and sinks into the shadows.}

{OOC: Writing myself out for a holiday I'll be on next week. Ekul and Seph are in charge while I'm gone. - Strong Sader}

{Kyves hears Strong Sader's screams. He runs in and sees Strong Sader's}

KYVES: Oh man... he's out cold...

{Kyves examines his body}

KYVES: He's lost his resistance to death... I gotta get him somewhere safe.

{Kyves pulls up one of the cars that Ekul stole, and sets Sader inside. Then he places the simulation in the trunk. He takes the car out of the fortress.}

KYVES: Ekul, Sephi, Unholy Tracy! Meek Sader is missing and Strong Sader is knocked out!

EKUL: Oh man... how long is he out for?

KYVES: I don't think he's waking up for a while.

EKUL: {Sarcastic} Great. Just perfect. Well, just get the car a safe distance away. I'll continue setting up the escape plan.

{Cut to the grey goo blob. The last nanobots die completely, releacing a creature resembling Pizzaboy without his pizza elements. He emerges with an executive style suit. He streches and walks out into the Wasteland. Cut to the LoE base. Dark Sader is watching the main group while working on something with Nived.}

DARK SADER: What was that cheesy creature thing, I wonder... Nived, what's the stats on our plan?

NIVED: The machine required to work it is complete! Ekul, Strong Sader and Kyves will soon fall into our trap. Their allies will most likely die in the ritual. ...by the way, what is the status on our enemies?

{Cut to Unholy Tracy}

UNHOLY TRACY:{wakes up} Huh? What?

EKUL: Pizzablob got Strong Sader's death resistance. That's just wonderful, right? Now the only way to beat him is to kill him and then absorb his ghost before he respawns. And to do that you need to be an evil vampire, so I'm going to have to turn into Drakul. Oh well, maybe the powers I get from him will allow me to take control back.

UNHOLY TRACY: No, you don't have to do that. I absorb souls already. {rips open chest. from inside it there are many, many wailing souls. UT closes his chest back up and his clothes fix themselves}

EKUL: The problem is that he has the unholy ability as well, so it won't work. But it's impossible to absorb a vampire...

UNHOLY TRACY: It wouldn't hurt to TRY.

EKUL: It would if he absorbed you.

UNHOLY TRACY: I'd eat my way out.

EKUL: Well then, that just goes to show that if you can eat your way out of your type of absorption then it must be pretty weak.

UNHOLY TRACY: ...Oh, you mean he'd rip my soul out of my body, eat the body, and then force my soul into his own soul, then I wouldn't be able to eat my way out of that. I'd just warp my soul out of his body and into a clone of myself, but not before placing a remotely-operated nuke inside the base of his skull, if he has one.

EKUL: Right, but that just leaves the problem that he'd just come back as a ghost and then respawn the next episode. That's Strong Sader's power.

UNHOLY TRACY: Not if I also rip out his original soul and absorb it.

EKUL: But that's what I'm saying, if you can rip out his soul seprate from his powers and absorb it, he can rip yours out too. It's too risky.

UNHOLY TRACY: ...You know nothing of my life, and, as far as I'm concerned, you are a meaningless git. Now, where can I find the big bad pizza monster, Master Git?

EKUL: {Sarcastically} Right in the cannon of one of those turrets.

UNHOLY TRACY: ...Whatever, I'll just go find it. {runs off, runs back in, flips off Ekul, runs off again}

{Ekul writes something down and continues with what he was doing before. Cut to UT}

UNHOLY TRACY: Note to self. drop a bag of crap onto Ekul when he's aslee-OH HOLY CRAP.

{camera spins around to reveal pizzablob, now as a sixty feet tall blob}

UNHOLY TRACY: ...Lez have FUN wit' 'dis thang! {jumps up, flies into Pizzablob}

{cut back to Ekul. He stops what he's doing and looks toward where UT went.}

EKUL: I was kind of a jerk to him... he was kind of a jerk to me too, sure, but maybe I should apologize. After all, we ARE on the same side. Pizza blob's probably miles away by now

{Ekul flies off toward where UT went}

EKUL: Hey Unholy Tracy I- AAAH!

{Ekul sees Pizzablob and Unholy Tracy}

UNHOLY TRACY: DIE YOU UGLY SON OF A-{flies into the blob}

EKUL: WAIT! I FORGOT HE COULD JUST ABSORB YOUR POWER AND SPIT YOU OUT! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KILL HIM BEFORE YOU ABSORB HIS SOUL!

UNHOLY TRACY:{from inside the blob} ...I don't give a flying {bleep}!

{Pizzablob drains Unholy Tracy's power and turns him into Tracy. Technically, that would make him Unholy Unholy Pizzaroth.}

EKUL: You still have clones right?

TRACY: Yeah. {pulls out another Bell clone, absorbs it, transforms back into Unholy Tracy} Do you think I should do what Bell did when he sacrificed himself?

EKUL: You mean create a huge monolith beam of death that nothing can survive?

UNHOLY TRACY: No, you idiot. {pulls out a large, old looking book, flips it open to these pages} Here. Read this.

{Pizzablob for some reason waits for Ekul to read the pages}

PIZZABLOB: I haven't got all day.

EKUL: Oh! You mean force all your energy into a double-punch?

UNHOLY TRACY: ...Well, yes. Technically, when Bell did that, he forced all of the souls he had absorbed into it, as well. The guy who wrote that didn't really check all the facts.

EKUL: That's a pretty epic sacrifice. Uh... I'm not on your bad side anymore, am I?

{OOC: Strong Sader emailed me and told me Sephiroth is supposed to decide when this subplot ends. So I guess neither of us are allowed to defeat him unless Seph gives it the go-ahead.}

UNHOLY TRACY: No, no you aren't. Anyways, I'm kinda tired, and I'm sure Pizzablob is too. Let's finish this in a little while later. {sits down, pulls out some horse tranqs and a book labeled "You Won't Be Able To Sleep After You Read Any Of This Book Unless You Are A Superpowered Narcoleptic And Sado-Masochistic Cosmic Horror With Horse Tranquilizers On Hand". The sub-title reads "A Collection of the Cthulhu Mythos, House Of Leaves, and Tinfoil Hat Theories That Will Make You Cry". UT opens it and start reading}

{OOC: Well sorry about my inactivity lately. I've been on somewhat of a holiday myself. And for Pizzablob... maybe around the start of the next episode?}

PIZZABLOB: You cannot defeat Unholy Unholier Pizzaroth, fools! I am IMMORTAL!!

{Pizzablob laughs evilly as the camera blacks out. Credits.}