Wikihood III/eps/2

Episode 2 - "Pizza Peril"

Synopsis

CAST: (in order of appearance): Meek Sader, Van, Chaos, Kyves, Ryousuke, Unholy Tracy, Sephiroth, Gilligan, Conchris, Ekul, Strong Sader, Pizzabot, Satanic Arcade Machines, Van

Transcript

{Open to the scene ending episode 1. Meek Sader enters the Pizza Hut Kitchen.}

MEEK SADER: Oh my god!

VAN: What's going on- {enters} Oh my god.

{Chaos walks in carelessly.}

CHAOS: You. You're both wearing a familiar aura. And you {points to Van} looks like some Pokemon I don't know about. So, what's going on now?

KYVES: {From the other room} Could you tell me what it is? Um... I'll stay back in case both of you die and I'm the only witness

MEEK SADER: There's a corpse in the fridge!

{Kyves enters the room}

KYVES: Oh, that sound reasonably safe. Uh, try to burn it with in oven.

MEEK SADER: {points that the body} The pizza bases are under his left leg.

{Ryousuke walks in, looking around.}

RYOUSUKE: YES! Pizza!

{Ryousuke leaves the kitchen}

RYOUSUKE: {off-screen} Meat Lovers, please.

KYVES: That's kinda grody. Let's not eat here. But then again, the fridge probably kept him from decomposing...

UNHOLY TRACY:{walks in} Hey, what's- {notices corpse} Uhh... Any of you guys gonna eat that?

{Sephiroth comes in behind Unholy Tracy.}

SEPHIROTH: Cool. A dead guy. {Gets the paddle, and starts poking the dead guy in the eye.} I wonder who he is, why he is dead, and why does he look like he was going to be made into a pizza? Unless....

CHAOS: CANNIBALS!

SEPHIROTH: Yes... my theory is, food became scarce, so everybody went into groups, to find food, until they found out that cannibalism would be the only way. And look. {Points to the sauce. He walks to it, and licks some of it.} Hmm... Coppery... Definitely blood. With a trace of tomato.

UNHOLY TRACY: No one? Okay. {breaks off an arm, eats} Mmm. The flesh of the innocent was always my favorite dish.

CHAOS: Tracy, you really shouldn't be doing that.

SEPHIROTH: Hmm... {Takes a taste of the cheese.} Essence of Grinded Bone... Bonezzerella Prehaps?

UNHOLY TRACY:{to Chaos} Why? It's never bothered me before. Even when I was two different people.

SEPHIROTH: {Takes off some of the crust and eats it.} Crust... Organs were part of this. Mostly intestines..

UNHOLY TRACY: There's also some ground eye in there, I believe.

SEPHIROTH: Yeah... God, if this is what has become of Pizza Hut, I can't imagine McDonalds.

UNHOLY TRACY: What're you talking about? They've been serving us human for YEARS! Where do you think the old Ronald McDonalds go when they're fired?

SEPHIROTH: Lemme have a look. Mcdonalds is just across the road. {Sephiroth leaves, and comes back with a Big Mac. He eats it.} Surprisingly enough... it's proper cow meat!

UNHOLY TRACY: Really? Hmm. Looks like McDonalds went SO insane, they actually became sane.

SEPHIROTH: Tastes rather nice. {Takes another bite.} Low Fat Cheese! Virgin Olive Cooking Oil? This is the worlds healthiest burger!

UNHOLY TRACY: Hmm. I oughta get one myself. {warps away, warps back with a Big Mac} How the- Hmm... I wonder if I can warp outside now. {concentrates} CRAP. I can only warp around inside the dome.

{Gilligan walks in now councious}

UNHOLY TRACY: So? What'd you think?

{A sudden explosion rocks the Hut.}

MEEK SADER: {Mouth full} What the...?

{Meek Sader dashes outside. The car is a burning wreck.}

MEEK SADER: {groans} I knew I should have gotten Strong Sader to loot a decent car as well. I hate these new-fangled gas powered cars which explode to protect the environment.

SEPHIROTH: How do you know? It might of been rigged!

MEEK SADER: It's on the manual.

{Meek Sader removes the cars manual from the wreck. On the cover is advertised: "New instant conbustion feature! Protect the enviroment while you park!"}

SEPHIROTH: Oh. I never tursted those environmental cars anyway. I don't even use a car. I use a Motorcycle.

{Van faints when he sees Tracy eating the corpse}

SEPHIROTH: I'll go get it. I parked it around here. {Leaves, and 10 minutes late he comes back, riding a Black and Red Motorcycle with a Painting of a dragon on it.} This is my pride and glory. If anyone did anything to this babe, I would tear their intestines out and feed them to Tracy.

MEEK SADER: Yeah, I bet you would.

{Cut to Eric's house, everyone is now gone save Ekul and Strong Sader. Strong Sader, now alive again, returns with a haul of stolen goods. Ekul is a cataloguing all of the looted items.}

EKUL: Hmm... I could have sworn I swiped ten of those gold bars, but I can only find 9... hmmm

UNHOLY TRACY:{warps in holding a gold bar} Looking for THIS? Hehehe {throws Ekul the bar, warps off}

STRONG SADER: Sure is quiet around here since those guys went to Pizza Hut. I wonder what they're doing right now.

{Cut to McDonald's across the road from Pizza Hut. All of the characters are now eating there.}

CONCHRIS: I somehow knew that the second button on this remote would make something blow up, but how did my stash of explosives end up in a car?

MEEK SADER: The car's self-destruct feature attracts all explosive matterial nearby to maximise the totality of destruction.

{Meek Sader turns on the deep-fat frier.}

CONCHRIS: Well, there's one more button on this remote and it's not even labelled. Who knows what would happen?

MEEK SADER: It might blow up the Earth. It could destroy the Dome. It may even do something more amazing; like make Ringo Star a GOOD drummer.

CONCHRIS: Let's push it! {pushes the third button, nothing happens} Strange, I was hoping for something to happen.

{A rubbling is heard. Outside, the Pizza Hut morphs in Transformers fashion into a giant robot.}

SEPHIROTH: Cool. Wanna fight it?

MEEK SADER: I'm not sure we have much of a chance... at all.

CHAOS: Are you kidding? We have super-charged powers of destruction! We could level whole civilizations if we wanted to! We can bat this thing.

{The Robot fires a pizza beam from its eyes. It strikes Chaos and turns him into a pizza.}

CHAOS: I don't even like Pizza Hut!

{Chaos morphs into Demon Chaos, and the Pizza form sheds away.}

DEMON CHAOS: All I have to do is keep changing forms and he'll be unable to stop me!

{Demon Choas, still radioactive from the Pizzium energy of the beam, returns to his pizza form.}

{Chaos turns into Chaosus Omegas X.}

CHAOSUS OMEGAS X: I CAN DO THIS ALL EPISODE.

MEEK SADER: The robot has a force field built from the same form of energy. If anything attempts to go through it it will suffer the same effects.

{Sephiroth rides his motorcycle onto a ramp, and flies over the Robot. The Robot, having seen him, hives off a mechanical growl and gives chase. Sephiroth rides into the "Explosives Warehouse, and comes out, throwing a lit match into the warehouse. The Robot goes inside it, and the warehouse explodes. The debree turns into pizza and falls limply to the ground. The Robot bursts out, undamaged.}

PIZZA HUT ROBOT:{Microsoft Saam voice overlapping Unholy Tracy's} You actually thought that would work? I have a psychotic Mary Sue inside me, for God's sake!

UNHOLY TRACY'S VOICE:{faint and echoey} GET ME OUT OF THIS THING!

SEPHIROTH: I'm coming after you!

{Sephiroth jumps into the Pizza Hut Robot with the motorcycle. Inside of it are lots of decayed skeletons, and Tracy. An ominous security beam is detatched from the outside of the robot.}

MEEK SADER: Sephiroth! Look out!

{The beam strikes Sephiroth in the arm, turning it into pizza. Sephiroth rips the pizza off, revealing his arm is there still.}

SEPHIROTH: Drilling time! {Gets out a drill, and starts drilling inside the robot.}

PIZZA ROBOT: Stop. {Holds up Sephiroth's motorcycle} Stop or I destroy it.

SEPHIROTH: {Presses a button, and the Motorcycle compacts into a little block shape. He puts it into his pocket.} Up yours Pizza Freak!

KYVES: Robot eh? TAKE THIS!

{Kyves creates an intense magnetic field around the robot hoping to either rip it apart or erase its memory}

{Cut across town. Ekul and Strong Sader are watching the Robot from afar. It rips Sephiroth out of itself, the damage self-repairs instantly, batting Kyves in the process. He then tosses Sephiroth and he lands on Strong Sader.}

STRONG SADER: {Pained} Hey.

UNHOLY TRACY'S VOICE: Hold on! I think I found a self-destruct mechanism!

{the robot rumbles, and explodes, turning into pizza. Unholy Tracy falls to the ground. He now has a pizza arm with a metal forearm and The Pizza Hut logo burnt into his forehead}

UNHOLY TRACY:{still has the overlapping MS Sam voice} Huh? Hehehe. This is MUCH better.

{A few, unaffected pieces merge together into a smaller robot.}

PIZZA ROBOT: I'll deal with out later.

{The Pizzabot flies into the sky, and dissappears with a camo unit. Cut to Ekul, Sader and Seph.}

SEPHIROTH: Whoa. Not only Pizza Hut are Cannibals, they are satanists too.

STRONG SADER: It looked like a pizzium reactor in there. Perhaps we can salvage bits of it.

SEPHIROTH: I still think it had a little bit of Satan in it.

{Cut back to the McDonald's. The characters there are sifting through the wreckage.}

SEPHIROTH: At least we have Chicken.

STRONG SADER: {Runs in behind him} Hmm, had it not been for the continuity suddenly collapsing, I could sware that you were half way across town a moment ago.

SEPHIROTH: I'm a damn fast rider. {Points to his Motorcycle, and the Iron Man riff plays.}

{Strong Sader disappears in a puff of continuity.}

MEEK SADER: The wreck is still radioactive. Unless you want to end up turning into pizza, I suggest you stay back.

KYVES: Magnetism protects against radiation for the most part.

{Kyves surrounds himself in a shield}

SEPHIROTH: See ya. {Goes back onto Motocycle.} ONTO KFC!!!

{Cut to Ekul, who is stealing stuff from a TV network, and then he notices a prediction of the weather. He takes a look at it and then puts it in his pocket.}

EKUL: Maybe this will help us get outta here.

{Then he takes a look at the camera}

EKUL: Hmm... Let's see how good this is.

{cut back}

UNHOLY TRACY: Hold on, Seph! I think I got the assimilation under control... {explodes into flash of light, turns back to normal. A slice of pizza falls to the ground} Perfect. {picks up pizza, destroys it} There. {runs up to Seph}

KYVES: I'd better destroy this place. Just in case.

{Kyves hauls the arcades out, then goes to the oven. He rends the insides and pipes of the oven, then he turns on the power. He runs out of the building as it explodes.}

UNHOLY TRACY: Crap. I was gonna eat the rest of that human.

KYVES: Uhg, I'm only doing that because I knew Ekul would do it later. I just prefer that everyone is alive when it explodes.

SEPHIROTH: You took the Arcades out. Umm... {Points to the arcade machines. They all have Hell related names, such as Satan Racer 666, Sonic the Possessed Hedgehog, and Super Satanio Bloodbrothers. They are all oozing blood.} Told ya.

CHAOS: Those may or may not have been simply enchanted by me.

KYVES: Well I'm not sticking around to find out.

{Kyves uses his magnetic powers to pick up a nearby sports car. He gets in, hijacks it and drives off}

GILLIGAN: Well, this book is very shocking... it has no pages! {Opens the book and shows it to Unholy Tracy to reveal it has no pages.}

CHAOS: I can only feel that could be a set-up for another series of events that takes place 10 years after this.

ARCADE MACHINES: YOUR MOTHER DRINKS PRUNE JUICE IN HELL!!! {Shoots out a barfy green liquid over everyone.} HEIL SATAN!

SEPHIROTH: Anyone? The possessed machines?

ARCADE MACHINES: SHUT UP! SHUT UP AND WORSHIP OUR DEMON LORD!!

UNHOLY TRACY: Huh? {takes book} Oh yeah. Wrong book. This is my collection of demons. Good thing these games are here. I was wanting to collect some more. {opens up pageless book, it sucks the arcade games into it. UT closes the book and hands Gilligan the REAL Records of Bell book} Here.

ARCADE MACHINES: {From inside the book.} YOU WILL BE THE FIRST TO DIE AS MAGGOTS FEAST ON YOUR FLESH!! HEIL LORD SATAN!!

CHAOS: Huh. All eternity in Hell and you'd think when somebody dies and becomes a demon they'd be their own minority instead of being on a set dictatorship and race.

ARCADE MACHINES: YOU MAY THINK WE'RE RATHER CRASS, BUT YOU CAN JUST KISS OUR A-...

SEPHIROTH: No way man. Chaos is not kissing any one of your asses. I hope.

UNHOLY TRACY: Hold on. I forgot to seal them in completely. {rips a piece of own soul out of body, shapes it into a key, jams soul-key into book} There.

ARCADE MACHINES: NO MATTER HOW TIGHT YOU LOCK US, WE CAN STILL TALK TO US!! MUAHAHAHA! WE WILL ANNOY YOU FOR ETERNITY!!

UNHOLY TRACY: ...Okay then. I'll just do this. {rips open chest, revealing a black hole, and the book, grabs the arcade machines, drops them into chest, closes chest} There. Now they are in a black hole.

SEPHIROTH: Thank you. God, they were annoying.

UNHOLY TRACY: You're welcome.

{A nearby TV flickers on. Ekul's face is on it}

EKUL: Testing testing... Whoa, this thing really works! Ahem. Attention everyone in the dome. I proclaim myself king! Yes that's right, KING! HA HA HA! In other news, a Pizza robot was spotted in the Donatos restaraunt. I have no idea how I got that information.

UNHOLY TRACY: Crap! I was going to do that!

{Strong Sader walks in at Ekul's side.}

STRONG SADER: Erm, Ekul? Sorry to bust the monarchy, but that Pizzabot is trying to break into the house now.

EKUL: Who's house? For clarification, right now we're in a station.

STRONG SADER: Eric's house. If he gets to the simulation he could trigger a meltdown of the microreactor which powers it.

SEPHIROTH: HE COULD BRING EVERYTHING OUT OF IT!!! Because he's possessed.

PIZZABOT: {Distantly} I'm not a satanist! I'm Irish-Catholic!

SEPHIROTH: YEAH RIGHT! SATANIST!!!

GOD: {Echoey} He really is Catholic, y'know.

SEPHIROTH: Yeah right! I'm Agnostic you know!

{The Pizzabot flies in.}

PIZZABOT: You have stained my honour, sir! I challenge you to a dual!

{Ekul flies out and faces the Pizzabot}

EKUL:So you're this Pizzabot I keep hearing about.

PIZZABOT: Indeed.

{The Pizzabot fires its pizza beam at Ekul. Ekul shields himself with ice, then fires the shield back at the Pizzabot. The Pizzabot turns the shield into a pizza, and starts firing razer sharp pizzas at Ekul.}

EKUL: Oh crap

{Ekul dives down, but the pizzas follow. Ekul sends a massive fireball at the Pizzas. With Ekul now distracted, the Pizzabot trickily fires a pizza beam at Ekul, who is struck. As his chest starts to turn into a pizza he freezes his body to slow down the assimilation. As such, he now looks like an ice sculpture of himself}

EKUL: Pizza is a dish best served COLD!

{Ekul fires a wide spread of sharp icicles at the robot. The Robot fires its beam at as many icicles as it can, but is damaged by a few. Strong Sader arrives on the scene in an adapted bike.}

STRONG SADER: Ekul! Are you alright?

EKUL: I think I'll survive as long as I stay in my Ice form... I won't be able to fly anymore without melting myself.

STRONG SADER: Wait a second.

{Strong Sader levitates upward and begins draining energy from Ekul's surroundings in the form of electricity.}

STRONG SADER: I've chilled the air around you to about -70 C. You If I can hold the field you can continue to fight!

EKUL: Thanks

{Ekul slides over to the robot on an ice sled and encases the robots legs in ice}

PIZZABOT: You shan't win!

{The robot fires blocks of cheese at Ekul. The blocks hit the sled of ice and its chain is broken. Ekul lands on the ground and shoots a freezing mist over both its arms. The Pizzabot is trapped.}

PIZZABOT: Herk! Must... escape!

EKUL: Now, Strong sader! While he's weak, he can be destroyed by static discharge!

PIZZABOT: Oh no you don't!

{The Pizzabot fires a beam from its eyes. The beam hits Strong Sader. Strong Sader recoils and begins to turn into pizza.}

VAN: {wakes up} Huh...? What's going on!?

{OOC: Sorry I haven't been contributing, I've been very busy lately}

STRONG SADER: {On the ground, twisting in agony} A Pizza Hut morphed into a giant Pizzabot and is turning people into pizza.

{Ekul covers Strong Sader completely in ice in a perfect cube}

EKUL: Sorry, but I don't want you to suffer.

{Conchris looks over to see the pizza bot}

CONCHRIS: OH CRAP! What am I supposed to do? {is noticing that he's wielding a laser blade} Oh right.

{Conchris slowly slinks into the shadows, only the glow of the blade is visible}

CONCHRIS: Gee, I sure hope that the bot doesn't notice me, because then I would have to run... fast.

EKUL: {whispers} I'll distract him.

{Ekul slides up into the air and encases the robots... um... eyes? video recorder? sensors? whatever in ice.}

SEPHIROTH: Here we go!!

{Sephiroth rides onto a ramp, launching him over the robot. He then gets out his blade, and does a deep cut inside its head. As he is going down, he then starts shooting the robot in the head with the gun attached to the blade. The Robot bursts out of the ice roaring, badly damaged.}

MEEK SADER: Ekul, don't be a hero, if you warm up to much you'll turn into a pizza.

CONCHRIS: {mumbling} I sure hope this works...

{Conchris leaps out of the shadows and lands a distance away from the Pizza Bot, he then throws the laser blade at the bot at an angle and hides. The blade slices thround the robot, and it fall down defeated.}

PIZZABOT: I care not. I have very nearly completed the task my creator gave to me...

SEPHIROTH: What? Turn us into Pizza?

PIZZABOT: To harvest corpses to gather DNA, then combine the best elements of both man a pizza. Now I must complete my task... Commence self-destruct gamma...

SEPHIROTH: STAND BACK! {He pushes everyone back.}

{The pizzabot explodes, firing a capsule across the town, out of reach.}

EKUL: That was a close call...

{Ekul goes enters a frozen storage vault}

EKUL: I'm going to have to stay in here. I'll have a computer system, so I can contact Kyves through his watch. If you find a cure, tell me so I can let you in. By the way, enter here without warning me, and you'll die of pure coldness.

{Ekul drags Strong Sader's Ice Cubicle inside and lowers the temperature in the vault to 80 K using his powers. Nitrogen hangs like a mist because it's starting to condense. Strong Sader thaws into he intencly cold enviroment. His intense energy resistance keeps him alive, but he still feels the cold.}

STRONG SADER: Whoa... what happened?

UNHOLY TRACY:{wakes up} Huh? Wha? Oh. I see you took care of the pizzabot for now without my help.

{Back at the ice place}

EKUL: We're quarantined in here until we get a cure. We can contact people using these cold-resistant hitech computers.

STRONG SADER: {Grabs his chest} My heart's stopped beating...

EKUL: It's going very slow. You won't be able to make any quick movements in here. typing, probably.

{Cut to Kyves in his car. He drives over to Meek Sader}

KYVES: Let's continue to the power plant.

{Meek Sader gets in and removes the map from his pocket and examines it.}

MEEK SADER: It's about 5 and a half miles to the west. We can get there within a few minutes.

{suddenly, a gigantic tractor plows through a house behind them}

TRACTOR: I cannot allow you to go any further.

MEEK SADER: Spoot! Where'd this guy come from?

KYVES: It looks like that Pizza hut wasn't the only transformer...

{The tractor starts to catch up}

KYVES: Okay... hold on!

{Kyves floors it.}

KYVES: Throw our spare tire at it or something!

MEEK SADER: You got it!

{Meek Sader tosses out the spare tire, but to no effect. He then rips up one of the back seats and tosses it.}

TRACTOR: HA ha ha! You can never defeat me!

KYVES: This is just great. But what if we...

{Kyves takes a sharp turn, then dives out of the car.}

KYVES: Quick!

{Meek Sader bails aswell.}

MEEK SADER: What now?

{The car continues going foreward and the tractor follows it.}

KYVES: Heh heh heh...

{The car turns stops suddenly and the tractor runs over it. However, the tractor is now rushing full speed at the side of the dome}

TRACTOR: ARRRRRGH!

{It crashes into the wall and explodes. The explosion creates only a small ripple in the electic field surrounding the dome.}

MEEK SADER: We'll have to cover the last three miles on foot. It shouldn't take that long, just follow the rim of the dome.

VAN: Wait up!

MEEK SADER: Hey, Van. We've nearly arrived at the power plant.

VAN: Sweet.

KYVES: Let's go.

{Kyves starts off, and looks at the map}

KYVES: We're close, very close.

MEEK SADER: You can see the cooling towers over those buildings. Shouldn't take us long, so long as we aren't attacked by anymore tranformers.

KYVES: Don't jynx it now! Man, all these buildings and cars and stuff... the only thing I'm not afraid of is the open road...

{A secion of the road surface breaks from its foundations and shapes into a rock robot.}

ROADBOT: Must prevent power shutdown.

KYVES: Just great. I was the one who jynxed it. It's not made of metal so I'm just going to have to beat it the hard way... or we could run away.

MEEK SADER: Option 2 seems more survivable.

KYVES: {Whispers} Well, we'll have to lead it away from the plant first.

{Kyves breaks the window of a nearby house and comes out with a metal table. He stands on the edge}

KYVES: Get on!

{Meek Sader leaps on.}

MEEK SADER: GO!

{The Roadbot begins to catch up with them.}

{OOC: I am going to assume Van gets on too. If you don't want it to be that way, we can just leave you here}

KYVES: Let's roll.

{Kyves uses his magnetism to lift the table off the ground and shoots foreward at high speed.}

KYVES: Keep your eyes peeled for a good vehicle

{Kyves flies in the opposite direction of the power plant.}

MEEK SADER: What about the school bus down there? {Points toward an abandoned school bus}

KYVES: Perfect!

{Kyves lands on the bus and enters through the top hatch. He sits down and starts up the bus, then he guns it and goes forth}

KYVES: Do you have any fighting expertise?

MEEK SADER: No, but there's a rocket launcher here under one of the seats.

KYVES: Use that. Here's the plan. We try to get it stuck in the ground or under water.

{CRASH, the Roadbot manages to punch the back, which bends it forward a little bit}

KYVES: I'd better focus on driving.

ROADBOT: Surrender and your death will be slightly faster and slightly less painful.

{Kyves turns on an intersection and the Roadbot takes a small shortcut allowing it to claw the back half of the roof off. The table falls into the bus.}

KYVES: Shoot it! Now's the chance!

{Meek Sader fires with the Roadbot directly on their tail. The blast flips the bus over from back to front. The bus then slids down the road, the robot now a pile of rubble. The bus slips until it falls into a nearby sewage river. Kyves climbs out of the bus and stands on the road.}

KYVES: Let's get back there now.

{Timeswipe: 1 hour later. Kyves, Meek Sader (and Van) arrive at the fence surrounding the plant.}

MEEK SADER: The reactor is still running. There must be highly refined Uranium at the core, otherwise it would have run out by now.

KYVES: Let's call Ekul and Strong Sader. I think they've been researching this.

{Kyves brings out his cellphone which emits two intangible holograms of Ekul and Strong Sader}

EKUL: Hey guys, what's up?

MEEK SADER: We've reached the palnt and are going to shut down the reactor. How are you guys holding up?

EKUL: I've discovered the way to take down the dome. There will be a tremendous storm soon. As soon as lightning strikes the tower, Kyves, you need to cause the reactor to send a surge straight at the dome. This will completely destroy it.

MEEK SADER: The Trioxicarboglassium of the dome is an insilator, so a lightening strike may not cause any damage or even happen at all.

EKUL: Aha, but I'm not talking about the glass. I'm talking about the electric field. The simultaneous striking of these massive surges of electricity will disrupt the field and the glass will break along with it.

STRONG SADER: The glassium should dissintigrate from the shock.

EKUL: But it's very important that you trigger it it at the same time the lightning strikes. Or else... we could be trapped here... FOREVER!

{Dramatic zoom in. Cue the end of the episode}