(even if you aren't vegan)


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{Open to a recap of last week's episode. Hexxus is standing face to face with Zharanakuva, with Sephiroth, Xenez and Rai-Xong watching from the sidelines.}

NARRATOR: Last time, on Phoenix Fighter X! Zharanakuva had become obsessed with a new goal. Upon learning of Hexxus' incredible hidden power, the barbaric alien warrior became hellbent on releasing it out. It was a classic case of good versus evil.

{Zharanakuva fires several blasts of celestial fire at Hexxus, but he manages to dodge it by manner of flashy anime poses.}

NARRATOR: And then suddenly, the courageous Demi-God had became sure to lose! Crushing the mighty Hexxus between his arms, Zharanakuva tried to unleash his hidden power with a heavy dose of PAIN.

{Hexxus charges towards his enemy but becomes distraught as Zharanakuva quickly teleports behind him and begins to squeeze him from behind, causing him agony as he's crushing his body.}

NARRATOR: Sephiroth had been confident of his friend's abilities ever since they emerged from the Realm of Spirit and Time. But as the hero watched his friend agonizing on the battlefield, he had realized he had made a terrible mistake!

{Hexxus carries on screaming in pain as Zharanavuka carries on crushing his body.}

NARRATOR: But beating Sephiroth to the silent punch was Specter, whose attempt to destroy Zharanavuka was quickly shattered, as was he. And upon seeing Hexxus's reaction to the android's demise, Zharanakuva developed a whole new strategy.

{Spectre comes out of nowhere and attempts to destroy Zharanakuva. Zharan is shocked enough to let Hexxus go, but Spectre is no match for Zharan as he's quickly destroyed by an energy blast to the chest. Hexxus sees the demise of his robotic friend and recoils in agony as Rai-Xong tries to join the battle. Sephiroth puts his arm out in front of him, stopping him.}

RAI-XONG: We must do something, or Hexxus will be killed!

SEPHIROTH: No! He can do it. I know he can. We must not interfere, or else it won't be a fair fight.

XENEZ: But if Zharan suceeds, he'll destroy the universe! Again!!

SEPHIROTH: It's a risk we must take.

NARRATOR: Will Sephiroth and the others fare against this hideous enemy? Will this be the trigger that releases Hexxus' power? Will this battle scene be resolved in less than twenty episodes? Find out today on Phoenix Fighter X!!

{Pan out to reveal D'Arque watching it from a store window, Dane and Steph by his side with a small group of undead around him.}

DEBONAIR: Is this what they call entertainment nowadays?

STEPHANIE: Yeah. Television in the twenty-first century. Honestly, this is one of the less awful things.

DEBONAIR: Are you having a laugh, girl? This is absolute gold! I spent so long in hiding in that theatre that I never really got a chance to sample new entertainment.

STEPHANIE: This is basically as good as it gets. Other than this, it's reality TV crap like "The Idol Factor" and "Guidos of San Cristobal".

DANE: Don't forget that show about the redneck ogre family!

STEPHANIE: Oh yeah. Can't forget "Here Comes Bunny Hoo-Hoo".

DEBONAIR: So you're trying to tell me that they've monetized the exploits of the lowlife proletariat, given them an audience, and stripped them of all redeeming human factors for entertainment? That's genius! I wish I had that idea.

{Steph groans as she puts her palm to her face.}

DEBONAIR: Nevertheless though, there will be plenty of time for that after I'm done with you, dear.

STEPHANIE: Is that so? What do you plan on doing with me?

{D'Arque smugly grins as he prepares to reveal his plan.}

DEBOANIR: You see, I know of your relation with Mr. Rosenberg. And I am sure you are perfectly aware of our rivalry. My plan for you is-..

{Before D'Arque can finish his smug plan, Stephanie has already punched him in the face, knocking his lower jaw clean off. She pulls a handgun out from her pocket and quickly grabs him, putting the gun to his head.}

STEPHANIE: Bollocks to whatever that was going to be. You think you actually managed to capture me? Your friend here lead me right to you.

{Dane shrugs. D'Arque tries to speak, but is unable to do so, due to his missing lower jaw. Dane picks it up and gives it to Steph, who puts it back onto D'Arque's head.}

DEBONAIR: Oooouch. You're a feisty one, you are! Grrrr-owl!!

{D'Arque makes a "cat scratch" gesture at Steph, but is quickly put off by the cocking of the gun.}

DANE: Oh boy. This is an awkward situation. I'm still getting paid, right?

DEBONAIR: You won't be getting a cent if this crazy broad blows my brains out!

STEPHANIE: Relax Donovan-..

DEBONAIR: Please don't call me that.

STEPHANIE: ..., I'm not going to do anything like that. Not yet. Just imploring you to look around you. Look at all this carnage you and him have created.

DEBONAIR: I am looking right now and I don't know what you're getting at here.

STEPHANIE: You built this town, Donovan-...

DEBONAIR: That's not my name anymore, it's Debo-...

STEPHANIE: Shut up! You built this town. Are you really so drunk on your own hatred that you're willing to tear it all apart for the sake of a petty rivalry? Because one man has a bigger city than you?

DEBONAIR: Pretty much, yeah.

STEPHANIE: Is this really what we get when we give two old men who are past their primes total reign? What about the citizens? The people you serve?

DEBONAIR: The only person I serve is myself.