(even if you aren't vegan)
Wikihood/arc/P16
Summary
Townindale is in a hot mess after its former citizens have successfully infiltrated and raided it. The Wikihood is ready to end this petty conflict, and start by confronting Droll head-on.
Transcript
{Open to the scene of disarray at Townindale Square. The Townindale Militia and D'Arque's fleet of undead warriors are engaged in battle, with the two sides evenly matched. The undead are surprisingly rather agile, considering their decrepit state, making them a force to be reckoned with. The Wikihood are caught in the middle of this scene with nothing to defend themselves with, having neglected to take any weaponry for themselves. Instead, they all slink down low, trying to avoid getting hit by any stray offenses. Talking among each other while crouched low, the scene of disarray carries on around them.}
VENTIN: Okay, seriously! What the hell is this bullshit?!
CHAOS: What are you on about now?
VENTIN: These... things! They're not zombies, they're... they're... ABOMINATIONS!
REMOLAY: To be quite honest, I didn't know there was even a standard of quality for these... things.
VENTIN: There are though! Real zombies are like... slow and brainless. Shufflers, you know? But these... phonies. They're fast and intelligent. It's not fair, okay? It's totally not fair! I wanted a horde of brainless vessels to tear apart! Not these freaks!
{Remolay sighs}
REMOLAY: Ventin, shut-
VENTIN: Go screw yourself.
REMOLAY: Right.
CHAOS: Guys, let's just focus on what we need to do here.
LEX: Kicking some zombie tail?
CHAOS: Well... yes. That, technically. But in order to stop all this once and for all, we need to deal with the problem from the source.
LEX: Droll.
CHAOS: Exactly. We're gonna need to take him down in any means possible. He needs to be coming with us, and if we really have to, we'll be taking him out, alive or dead.
{Pause}
CHAOS: But for the sake of my own conscience, preferably alive.
OIRACUL: From past experiences, I find that every chance of sparing a life, no matter how heinous their actions have been in the past, is a chance that must be taken.
VENTIN: No fun.
CHAOS: Shh. So, in order to confront him, we should probably try to get ourselves ready and armed so we can actually make our way through to him, especially through this gigantic crowd.
{Zoom out to reveal that the entire town has now been completely overrun by undead, spread across the map in differing amounts.}
REMOLAY: In hindsight, we probably should've grabbed weaponry of our own before leading the people into certain death like this.
LEX: Eh, no need to worry about such things, for I have us all covered.
CHAOS: What on earth-
{Lex puts his arm around Chaos' shoulder as they all stand up and maneuver themselves around the fighting masses. Lex nonchalantly guides Chaos through the carnage while talking to him.}
LEX: You see, my old bean, I'm a connoisseur of all sorts of weaponry over the years, having handled it many times in my prime.
CHAOS: What? But.. you were a showman. You never even saw combat!
LEX: Ah, pish-posh, there's more to my life story than I let on!
CHAOS: I've just come to the conclusion that you make most of this stuff up.
LEX: An assumption that's not particularly unfounded, admittedly. But no, I insist! Because for the last few years at the manor, I have amassed a secret collection of weaponry like none other, built for this purpose, and this purpose alone!!
{Pause}
LEX: This, and a probable Red Dawn scenario. But still, I digress.
CHAOS: You mean, you've been stashing illegal weapons in my household without me knowing? How could you do such a thing?
LEX: Believe me, I'm not the only one.
{Chaos turns around to the others. They all awkwardly fidget around to detract attention, except for Remolay, who's just as surprised as Chaos. Chaos sighs.}
CHAOS: Alright, I'm beyond caring at this point. Let's just get this stuff, and do our thing.
{The Wikihood sneak past the two armies, and quietly make their way back to the Wikihood Manor. Cut to Noxigar, who is not far from the Manor.}
BILLY BONES: I'd like to know what other townes exist.
NOXIGAR: There's Phoenixshire, which you mentioned. Between it and Midway is where we currently are. There's also Bluehaven, where I met a really cool person, but Lex and the others have quite a few prejudices with it. I don't blame them, though, considering my visits of late. There's also Saint Crystal-Balls, or whatever the blokes over there call it.1
BILLY BONES: That the layman's terms?
NOXIGAR: Pretty much. We also went to New York to visit Lex's friend Sharothi, but the experience turned sour.
BILLY BONES: Y'mentioned a Lex fellow. Isn't he the Sephiroth o' legend?
NOXIGAR: No. He vehemently despises and denies it exists. Anyway, I had something planned but I think I forgot it. Let's just go and get this over with, and maybe all of you guys can stay as guests in the Wikihood Manor, or otherwise be underneath the Manor for when we need backup.
BILLY BONES: Your Manor's fairly huge.
{Noxigar points at Debonair D'Arque's theatre, off on the horizon. He and his 700 undead friends march towards it. Cut to the Wikihood back at the manor.}
REMOLAY: Oh man, isn't it great to be home! Can we just stay here, please? Can we?
CHAOS: I don't know about you, but I'd rather not lounge around while there's a real life George Romero flick going on outside our house.
VENTIN: Yeah, yeah, cut the crap. Lex. What was this you said about weapons? Show us, show us!!
LEX: Right, come along now.
{Swipe forward to the gang now in Lex's bedroom. The bookcase next to the bed has been moved to the side to reveal that he has a closet full of weaponry appropriate for an invasion situation. Immediately, Ventin pushes everyone aside and starts digging through it.}
CHAOS: I'm still disappointed you were hiding this from us Lex, but... good job.
LEX: Hey, you know what they say. An armed home is a happy home!
CHAOS: Nobody says that. Nobody says that at all.
LEX: Really?
CHAOS: No.
LEX: Oh.
{Ventin turns back to Lex.}
VENTIN: Oi, what gives? Where are the chainsaws?
LEX: I said these were effective weapons, not children's toys. A chainsaw is useless against undead, I mean... sure, it goes through them fast, but you need a whole bunch of fuel or else it becomes a big and useless paperweight. Besides, with all the splatter it causes, and the whole prospect of being jammed with zombie guts, I mean.. ick.
VENTIN: This day keeps getting worse! I wanted to go all Ash Williams on these creeps!
{Ventin reaches back into the closet and pulls out a hatchet.}
VENTIN: Hmph. This'll do. I'll at least get to split a skull open or two.
SIRRUS: But sister, what of our superpowers?
VENTIN: BLOOD CAN'T SLICE LIMBS LIKE CHAINSAWS CAN, BROTHER.
LEX: Anyone else wanna take their pick?
{Lex motions to the closet, with a grin on his face. Cut back to the streets, with the Wikihood gang walking down them in awesome hollywood-style slow motion, dramatically and non-nonchalantly taking down any undead in their path, with a flashy spectacle of blood everywhere. As they reach the end of the street, everything resumes back to normal speed as they all look at each other, and then begin to cheer amongst each other.}
REMOLAY: OH MAN THIS IS SO COOL.
CHAOS: I KNOW RIGHT WE'RE LIKE ACTION HEROES.
{Cut to the theatre, which is advertising an upcoming production of The Pirates of Penzance. D'Arque is in his director costume, with Droll backstage and Dane on piano. Onstage is a collection of undead dressed appropriately for the setting of the play. From stage right enters a mostly whole zombie dressed as the Major-General.}
DEBONAIR: Alright, then, from the top. Dane, his starting pitches?
{Dane fingers the starting chord of the song and plays the first few measures.}
DEBONAIR: Take it away!
MAJOR-GENERAL: {mostly incoherent, slowly falling in tempo} I am the very model of a modern major-general, I've information vegetable, animal, and mine-{his jaw falls off}
DEBONAIR: Can we get stage crew to fasten his jaw back on?
{Cut to Droll backstage.}
DROLL: You three! Let's get him a facelift.
{Three undead dressed as technicians shamble out onstage carrying a prop boat.}
DEBONAIR: No, you idiots! Put the boat down and fix his jaw!
{The undead in the lead instantly drops the boat on his foot and tries to shamble forward, but his foot breaks off and he falls over. The arms of one of them fall off and drop the boat on the foot of the last one, who then tries to escape and has the same fate happen to him.}
D'ARQUE: {Sigh} This is going to be a long 6 weeks.
{Just then, the doors to the lobby are blown open. Two undead dressed as ushers approach.}
USHER: What, seat, ma'am?
{Lex shoves his gun down it's throat and unloads the clip. Oiracul pistol whips the other one as the rest of the gang approaches.}
OIRACUL: If there's one place D'Arque and his cronies would be, it's in his real home.
{The group slowly starts walking in.}
CHAOS: Alright, gang. D'Arque's played his last matinee, and this time the audience is less responsive than he'll be when we're through with him.
{Chaos cocks his gun. The rest of the group looks uncomfortable at the remark.}
SIRRUS: Wow, that was forced.
VENTIN: I used to think you just didn't act funny because it was part of the tough guy demeanor, but holy crap that was bad.
CHAOS: Just shoot the doors down.
{The twins approach with heavy weaponry loaded and the doors come down. D'Arque and company turn to face them, except Dane who puts his head down on the piano out of fear.}
DEBONAIR: Look, I don't care if you want to go back to living in your ramshackle house on the border of poverty. If you can take in the miasma without dying, then go ahead. But for the love of all that is unholy, you do not interrupt us when we're at work!
CHAOS: Not gonna cut it, D'Arque. We're here for your pet frog.
{Dane's eyes light up. Chaos looks at him in confusion and shakes his head no. Dane slumps back down over the piano.}
REMOLAY: Did he really think we meant him?
OIRACUL: Give the man some hope, Remolay.
LEX: We're ready to exorcise you and beat the relentless magical shit out of your two pond skimming scum of assistants.
{D'Arque sighs and takes off his directing beret.}
DEBONAIR: Droll, I believe it's time you showed them your repertoire.
{D'Arque turns around. Lex readies a few shots towards him, but they're intercepted by Droll. He then rips the crew uniform off to reveal his usual tattered suit and pulls out his voodoo wand.}
REMOLAY: Wait a minute, you wear your suit over your street clothes?
DROLL: Old performer's secret.
{D'Arque and Dane hop up onstage and with a toodle-oo, disappear under the stage through the use of a trapdoor. Droll raises his wand as the crew comes out from backstage to attack the team.}
DROLL: See, the wonder of keeping these undead in my employ - and some in my company - is because you living people, you bore me.
{The undead converge on the gang, who start fighting them off.}
CHAOS: {To Lex} We've gotta circumvent the crowd as we fight them!
LEX: Won't that leave us flanked between the undead and him?
CHAOS: Yeah, but he'll still be cut off from using them to revive.
LEX: Alright! Got it!
{Lex breaks from the group and heads towards the corner of the stage. Droll runs to intercept him but before hitting the stairs he fakes Droll out and turns back towards the undead. Droll can see that the waves are starting to be pushed into the back of the house as Chaos slowly advances in a similar manner.}
DROLL: Pfft, you take me for a fool?
{Droll aims his wand towards one of the undead and blows it up with a ray of sickly necrotic energy. As it blows up in close proximity, a few other undead caught in the explosion also blow up. The undead look mostly unphased, but the ichor and necrotic waves are pulsing on the group as they appear visibly damaged.}
OIRACUL: Negative energy!
REMOLAY: What the hell just happened?
VENTIN: He blew some undead up, and the energy powering them seeped out and starting hitting us, like radiation.
SIRRUS: It stings, like flesh eating bacteria!
{Ventin pricks herself to prepare to use hemomancy.}
OIRACUL: Be careful, Ventin. Miasma might start to seep into your wounds if you let yourself get out of control.
VENTIN: Did Teen Wolf just try to tell us to exercise self-control?
SIRRUS: You think now's a good time to argue?
VENTIN: Whatever, whiny little peach.
SIRRUS: Sorry if I -
{Ventin charges forward, dropping her weapons and preparing her magic.}
SIRRUS: ...Care for you.
{Ventin begins chanting something in Egyptian, as blood begins to swirl around her, and fly at the horde of undead, solidifying into daggers in mid air. The daggers rip through the horde, as Ventin tries to rush as Droll.}
VENTIN: You're going to get it now, bitch.
{Droll scoffs, waving his wand at her, as another ray of necrotic energy directly hits her, knocking her back, unconscious.}
DROLL: Hmph.
{Watching his sister get knocked out pretty much pisses Sirrus off, as he begins pulling out vials of blood. He tosses them in a pattern making a ring around Droll, as he steps into it, chanting a few words, setting the ring of blood ablaze. Droll goes to blast him too, but Sirrus tosses a vial, knocking his wand out of his hand.}
SIRRUS: You...you...mother...TRUCKER!
{Sirrus goes to attack Droll, but Droll simply gut punches him. Sirrus falls to the ground, out cold, as the fire stops. Droll steps over, grabbing his wand.}
DROLL: Any more fools this reckless?
OIRACUL: Come get it, punk.
DROLL: I do hope you have something better than these two. You're not going to bleed over me too, are you?
OIRACUL: I'm afraid it'll be you who'll be doing the bleeding, this time.
{Oiracul unsheathes her daggers as Droll readies his wand. Oiracul charges at Droll, and he fires a spell at her. Fortunately, she's able to dodge it as she jumps into the air and lunges straight at Droll. Droll also manages to dodge by rolling out of the way, firing more blasts of energy in her direction, which she also manages to dodge. All while this is happening, several figures of undead are being hit by stray blasts. Oiracul lands in front of Droll, knife edged at his throat. Likewise, Droll's wand is aimed directly at Oiracul's head.}
OIRACUL I gotta say, I'm impressed. Some fine magic skills you got there.
DROLL: Heh. Best necromancer in the south, m'dear. It really goes without saying. I have to say the same thing about you too, some fine moves you got there. Military training, I assume. Mossad?
OIRACUL: White Duke.
DROLL: Oh. Well, this is interesting. I've heard of your sort. I'll enjoy taking you down.
{Oiracul and Droll lock eyes as they're about to re-engage in combat. Suddenly, a heavy object is thrown at Droll off-screen, which knocks him down to the ground, causing him to drop his wand once again. Disorientated, Droll manages to get a look at what hit him. Pan over to reveal Remolay at the corner of the stage, next to a pile of sandbags, one which had been thrown at Droll specifically.}
DROLL: You... cheater! That's... not fair...
{Droll slumps down to the ground, knocked unconscious by the blow. Remolay walks over to Oiracul, dusting his hands off.}
REMOLAY: That solves that, then.
OIRACUL: What gives, Rem?! I had that in the bag! I was just about to take him down myself!
REMOLAY: Oh, I'm sorry! It's just, while you guys were being all flashy and cool, I wanted to help somehow, and while you two were talking, I just had the chance and I took it!
OIRACUL: Heh. Well, at least he's dealt with. I'll consider this payback for me saving your ass back during the robbery.
REMOLAY: I dealt with those guys myself, though.
OIRACUL: Not talking about the thugs, I was talking about that godawful suit.
{Zoom out to show the entire theatre, with bodies of undead scattered everywhere, and the unconscious bodies of Droll, Ventin, and Sirrus next to Remolay and Oiracul. Meanwhile, Lex and Chaos have managed to deal with the last remaining undead inside of the theatre. They walk back to the others and see the aftermath.}
LEX: Damn. Nice job, guys.
CHAOS: Shame about the twins though. How did they put up?
OIRACUL: Oh, they were great. They managed to get Droll in a position that allowed me to attack him while his guard was down.
REMOLAY: I managed to land the final blow, though.
CHAOS: Awesome. How did you do it?
REMOLAY: Sandbag to the head. Took him out easily.
CHAOS: Great. Wake the twins up, we got two more fish to fry.
OIRACUL: What should we do about Droll, though? I'm not particularly sure that leaving him here would be a good idea.
LEX: Oh, I know what to do.
{Timeswipe. All the undead have now been cleared up and put in a large pile in the middle of the stage, and Droll is now trapped in a pet carrier box, right on the very top of the stage catwalk. Sirrus and Ventin are back on their feet again, and the crew observe the scene.}
VENTIN: Damn, I wish I could've seen Remolay whack this punk. The one time this dweeb does something cool, and I'm not even awake to see it.
DROLL: OI, YOU PEOPLE! DON'T JUST LEAVE ME HERE! GET ME DOWN!
LEX: Not gonna lie, I like him up there. He makes a good theater decoration.
CHAOS: Don't worry Drolly, you won't be up there too long. The police will find you soon enough.
DROLL: You fool! Monsieur D'Arque owns the police! HE OWNS THIS TOWN! I'LL BE FREE SOON ENOUGH, MARK MY WORDS!
CHAOS: Yeah, that's why we're going for him next. There won't be any Town Hall once we're done with him. Come on, guys.
{The Wikihood begin to leave the theatre as Droll is left hanging, calling back out to them.}
DROLL: You'll regret this! All of you! Unless you get me down, of course! I'll join your side! I'll help you! Guys, guys?
{Being the last one to leave, Remolay shuts the lights off and slams the door.}
DROLL: ...Bollocks.
{Cut back to the streets outside of the theatre. The fighting in the Town Hall has spread further through Townindale, with several undead and citizens fighting each other in the streets.}
CHAOS: It seems as if stopping Droll still hasn't stopped the hordes. Great. Just great.
LEX: What about the wand? Perhaps that can do anything?
CHAOS: I doubt it, but it's worth a try.
{Chaos pulls out Droll's wand and points it at an undead. Nothing happens.}
CHAOS: Nope. I don't think any of us have the skills for this. Unless any of you happen to be necromantics and have been neglecting to tell us so, in which this is your chance to shine.
{Silence.}
CHAOS: Dang. I was actually kind of hoping for something to happen there.
LEX: My question is, where the hell is Rosenberg's backup? He said he was sending it.
CHAOS: I honestly don't care at this point. That bastard really hasn't done anything important for us. We can solve our own problems, anyway.
OIRACUL: And Noxigar? What is he up to? He's been missing a lot, lately.
{Cut to Noxigar's 700 slowly marching towards the theatre, to realize that it's been emptied.}
NOXIGAR: Wow. I really have been missing a lot lately.
BILLY BONES: So what's the plan now?
NOXIGAR: I guess we just travel to Town Hall, make sure the mayor there is killed and then subsequently reanimated, and bolster our ranks even further. It would appear Droll is out of the picture, or so the lights being off tells me.
{Noxigar and his 700 turn around to face Town Hall in the distance.}
NOXIGAR: I guess that's our next stop. I'll worry about food later, even though I really could use something to eat.
{Noxigar and his 700 then march towards Town Hall. Cut to the Mayor's Office. The Mayor has made his way back in, and is currently hiding underneath his desk.}
MAYOR: Confound, what was he thinking? Letting all these old people run free! This town's gone nuts!
{Sounds of footsteps can be heard from outside the office.}
MAYOR: Oh blast, oh blast!
{The Mayor quickly gets up and looks around the room. Suddenly, he opens his desk and pulls out a vintage Tommy Gun.}
MAYOR: Excellent. No one will get to me. My re-election depends on it!
???: OH MAYORRRRRR...
{The Mayor aims the gun at the office doors. As soon as the doors open, the Mayor opens fire nondiscriminatory. Behind the door is revealed to be D'Arque and Dane, accompanied by several undead. As D'Arque and Dane duck for cover, several of the undead are hit instead.}
MAYOR: THE OFFICE IS CLOSED, YOU... YOU... JERKS!
{After a few seconds of firing, the ammo in the gun runs out, and the Mayor is left defenseless. D'Arque and Dane walk back into the office, along with the undead who didn't get shot to pieces. As they approach him, the Mayor begins to back away, until he hits the wall. D'Arque walks straight to him and slams his hands on the desk.}
DEBONAIR: Mr. Mayor, I do say we have a lot to talk about today.
{Terrified by D'Arque's presence, the Mayor begins to sweat.}
MAYOR: Wh-what... could it possibly be, s-sir?
DANE: Yo, we just gonna ignore how this dick just tried to kill us?
MAYOR: This isn't about the documentary, is it?
DEBONAIR: No...
MAYOR: Or the expenses scandal? Because you and I both had a part in-
DEBONAIR: No, this has nothing to do with any of that.
{D'Arque takes his hands off the desk and readjusts his collar. He begins to chuckle while doing so. The Mayor nervously follows along with the chuckling, while Dane stares at the two in silence, looking confused.}
DEBONAIR: I simply wanted to... thank you.
MAYOR: T-..thank me?
DEBOANIR: Why, of course! For serving this town as its Mayor for so long, for protecting and serving the citizens...
{D'Arque smirks.}
DEBONAIR: For being the perfect little puppet.
MAYOR: Oh, well... I-I'm... thank you!
DEBONAIR: But I'm afraid your term as mayor has unfortunately met its end.
MAYOR: But.. why?
DEBONAIR: Because you've served me well, Meier. Like a loyal dog. But you've gotten so old, you no longer have the strength you used to have, so that's why I plan on putting you to sleep. Permanently.
MAYOR: You-... you can't do this! I.. I'm the mayor! I'm the-.. the one this town listens to, not you!
DEBONAIR: Oh, don't give me that hogwash. Do you even know how low your approval ratings are? The only reason why you kept winning these elections was because of me. And you know that. You may be a senile old man at this point, but you can't possibly be that dumb.
MAYOR: You wretch! I hope you'll burn in hell for what you've done!
DEBONAIR: Trust me, I've already been there and back. Dane, why don't you do the honors?
DANE: Jeez, man. I'm all cool with helpin' you out and all, but I don't think you pay me enough to kill anyone.
DEBONAIR: Really? Ugh, fine. I'll do it myself.
{D'Arque reaches for his pocket. Suddenly, the office doors burst open again, revealing Noxigar and his own undead troupe.}
NOXIGAR: MR. MAYOR, I HAVE A WORD TO MAKE WITH-...
{Noxigar sees D'Arque and Dane already confronting the Mayor.}
NOXIGAR: ...you?
{D'Arque turns around to face Noxigar.}
DEBONAIR: Oh my, it's you. Toxigar. I was wondering where you were.
{D'Arque notices Noxigar's undead.}
DEBONAIR: And you brought some friends too! Excellent.
NOXIGAR: The name's Noxigar, punk.
DEBONAIR: I don't really care, you lot are all the same to me, really. You here for the same reason I am?
NOXIGAR: I came to confront the Mayor. But now that you're here, I think there's been a change of plan.
DEBONAIR: Well, that makes two of us.
BILLY BONES: Oh my, Debonair. It has been a long time.
DEBONAIR: W..William? Wow, it really is you. You dirty bastard, never again did I believe I'd be seeing you again.
BILLY BONES: Didn't know you were so into the occult.
DEBONAIR: Funnily enough, I actually did consider reviving you, for good time's sake. But then I remember what you did behind my back, and I decided to let you rot. And yet you're here again, right in front of me. Funny how things work, huh?
DANE: Man, this is getting a little too crazy for me. Um.. dude, I like you and all, and you've paid me well, but maybe I could just-...
DEBONAIR: No, Dane, you can't leave now! Don't you see how brilliant this is? Old friends, new enemies! All together under one roof! Oh, this is spectacular!
NOXIGAR: You'll make a fine bounty, Donovan.
DEBONAIR: Bounty huh? I already have a price on my head. Oh, how lovely. Too bad you won't be able to claim it.
DANE: Dude, I'm just a DJ! What am I doing here?
NOXIGAR: And who is this supposed to be?
DEBONAIR: Oh, him? He's nobody, really.
DANE: Hey!
DEBONAIR: Nonetheless, you want me? I'm right here. Let's quit the talk and get to it.
NOXIGAR: It'll be my pleasure.
{Noxigar begins to approach D'Arque. Suddenly a huge explosion is heard outside which shakes the entire building, causing pieces of rubble to fall from the ceiling.}
BILLY BONES: Mary, Mother of God!! What was that?
DEBONAIR: That... wasn't me.
NOXIGAR: Not me, either. Oh Christ, I don't have a good feeling about this.
{Noxigar, D'Arque, Dane, and Billy Bones all flock to the window and look out of it. Out on the streets, several civilians are now panicking and running for their lives as a swarm of Rosenberg's droids are now lining the streets, recklessly and indiscriminately firing at the undead, causing huge amounts of explosive collateral damage in the process. One of the droids outside sees D'Arque and fires a blast straight at the window. Everyone ducks as a huge portion of the wall is blown apart, leaving a huge hole in the side of the Mayor's Office. While everyone is distracted, the Mayor runs out of the room as fast as he can.}
DEBONAIR: Oh, just as things couldn't get even worse, he shows up!
{D'Arque turns to Noxigar}
DEBONAIR: No doubt he's with you at this point.
NOXIGAR: We're not friends.
DANE: Okay, can I now leave? Please?
DEBONAIR: Shut up, Dane.
NOXIGAR: They're just firing everywhere... look at all these people, he doesn't even care!
DEBONAIR: FORGET THE PEOPLE, HE'S DESTROYING MY TOWN!!
NOXIGAR: He needs to be stopped!
DEBONAIR: I'll deal with you and the mayor later. I have even more important business to tend to! And William? Again, long time no see.
{D'Arque and Dane run for the exit. As Noxigar goes to run after him, Dane knocks over the bookcases to the sides of the door, before he and D'Arque scurry off like chickens.}
NOXIGAR: This has gotten even more insane.
BILLY BONES: Is this what the 21st Century is really like? Yikes, I've missed more than I thought I did.
NOXIGAR: Unsurprisingly, you didn't miss out on a lot.2 That guy who makes the robots is what we in the business call a savant, and the robots he makes are unfortunately not very common 'round the globe.
BILLY BONES: That must explain why they're so stupidly powerful.
{A bright light shines from the exit, and out steps a "human" with black hair.}
???: Hola. I'm here to find the ones who have captured a dark spirit of sorts. I-if the time is appropriate of course. You guys-
{The "human" points and moves his arm in a sweeping motion at everyone in the room.}
???: -look kind of busy.
BILLY BONES: You bring the robots with you?
NOXIGAR: Unfortunately not, which raises the question as to exactly who you are.
{Chaos and the others come running from the hills, trying to follow the trail of the 700.}
CHAOS: Well I'll be damned, he actually found the whole set of armour.
LEX: Why do you say "armor" like that?
CHAOS: ...What? I say it the same way everybody else does.
OIRACUL: I think you two are are having two different arguments right now.
REMOLAY: Are those Rosenberg's robots over there?
SIRRUS: No...
VENTIN: Doesn't surprise me, really.
{Chaos tries to wave to Noxigar and the stranger. The robots begin scattering to try and find all of the undead that they can.}
???: Uh… who I am… you see, about that- temporal transportation kind of does a number to the neural centres of the brain. I'm suffering a lapse of memory of the long term. For the time being, my identity remains as much as a mystery as the release date of-
{The "human" coughs.}
???: Sorry, again. Lapse.
NOXIGAR: If you'd like, you could stay at the Wikihood Manor3. We always have extra room.
CHAOS: There might not be a Wikihood Manor if we don't stop this fighting!
{Ventin looks down at her weapon, which she picked up before leaving the theatre. She doesn't really pay much mind to the strange dude, instead looking at the robots and zombies.}
VENTIN: You think these could cut through those robots?
SIRRUS: Probably not. They're made of steel, and what not
VENTIN: Was I asking you?
SIRRUS: Yeah, you were.
VENTIN: Oh. Well, screw you.
{The twins bicker like this for several minutes as everything else goes on. The dimension shifting human looks on blankly, then shakes his head and gives his attention to Noxigar and Chaos.}
???: Uhh… a room would be nice to stay at, considering I'm temporally displaced for the time being. I don't remember my name per se…
{The human reaches for something in his pocket. When he pulls it out, it is revealed to be a wallet.}
???: …but this card in here says my name is Nicholai…
{He squints, trying to read something.}
NICHOLAI: …something. Seems I or someone else scratched out the last name. For whatever reason, but a first name is better than no name, right?
{Nicholai puts his wallet away back in his pocket.}
NICHOLAI: Follow up question: The hell is a Wikihood?
NOXIGAR: I'll inform you later. At the moment, we have to save Towningdale from robots sent in entirely to raise hell.
{Noxigar hops down to meet the group and they all await Nicholai.}
CHAOS: {To Noxigar, under his breath} Another one?
NOXIGAR: You really going to tell a drifter no in the middle of a civil war?
CHAOS: Fair enough. {To Nicholai} Hey! Hop on down, we'll get you armed up.
{Nicholai hops down and Lex gives Chaos a gun. Chaos extends his arm out to offer the gun to Nicholai, and when Nicholai grabs it, Chaos' eyes light up. He takes the gun, eyes it, and the group walks off, save for Chaos and Oiracul.}
OIRACUL: You okay?
CHAOS: I feel like I've just seen a ghost.
OIRACUL: Sure it wasn't a zombie?
CHAOS: So topical we are in the middle of armed conflict!
OIRACUL: I learned from the best.
CHAOS: Well we could really use his help right now.
{The two catch up to the group as the scene fades to black.}
{End}
1. Noxigar legitimately calls San Cristobal "Saint Crystal-Balls"
2. William Barnabas hasn't actually missed out on much, to be honest.
3. Noxigar would genuinely offer this guy a room at the Manor, without realizing this dude's connections to the existing Vindicator.
